Chapter 2

I’d made up my mind.

I would die before submitting.

The moment he tried to touch me, I would ask him to execute my entire extended family.

Kneeling on the floor, I heard the door open. A clear, mellow voice said, “Rise.”

I looked up. The emperor had changed into informal robes and was regarding me calmly.

I probably should have pretended to be surprised.

But I couldn’t be bothered.

He smiled. “What is it? Frightened?”

I shook my head. Thought about it. Nodded.

Who wouldn’t be frightened of a monster?

He smiled again, in a way that somehow made him look very rich. “I told you to get up. Are you waiting for me to help you?”

He reached out. I sprang to my feet. “Your Majesty, at this late hour, I… Shall I pour you some tea? No, no, water would be better.”

What if the tea kept him awake?

“How thoughtful.” It was Murong Su’s first visit to my residence, yet he made himself as comfortable as if it were his own. He plopped onto the daybed I’d made so cozy, leaned back against a soft cushion I’d sewn, and naturally put his feet on the little stool I’d padded with cloth and cotton.

I poured him warm water, brought out countless dried fruits and pastries along with my homemade candied fruit, and stood quietly to one side.

“Mei. An. Qing.”

Murong Su pronounced my name one syllable at a time.

I nodded. “That is my name, Your Majesty.”

“What did you mean this afternoon when you said I looked like a pig demon?” He glanced at me, his voice mild. “What do I look like to you?”

I drew a deep breath.

So. Be. It!

I sat opposite him, stuffed two pieces of candied fruit into my mouth, bit down hard, and declared with grim resolve, “Your Majesty is incomparably wise. Surely you understand what I meant. Whatever you are, that is what I see.”

When I finished, Murong Su fell silent.

It was a very long silence.

Candle flames swayed. I guessed he was considering the most satisfying way to kill me.

I sneaked nuts off the table.

Eat while you still can… as much as you can!

The thought filled me with sorrow.

I was so universally disliked that nobody would burn paper money for me after I died. Then I wouldn’t have anything to eat, either.

I stole a handful. Murong Su glanced at me.

Head down, I finished them, then reached for more.

I grabbed some nuts. Murong Su glanced at me again.

A little later, having finished those too, I stole a look at him and cautiously reached into the dish in front of him.

He glanced at me yet again.

Our eyes met. I ducked my head, dodged his gaze, and decisively stuffed the nuts into my mouth.

I chewed behind my hand.

It was rather like covering my own eyes and assuming no one else could see me. But I really wouldn’t be able to eat once I was dead, so I decided to be kind to myself.

When I’d finished chewing, I furtively reached out again.

A large hand suddenly pressed down on my thieving one. I flinched.

My reaction startled Murong Su too. He snatched his hand back. “…Just eat normally, all right? You can have all of these… But don’t eat too much, all right?”

The emperor wasn’t as possessive about food as I’d imagined.

He didn’t seem inclined to kill me. Still, I stuffed another huge handful into my mouth and said through my chewing, “Your Majesty, I’m ready. You can slaughter my whole clan now.”

——

What Murong Su heard was, “Yer Maj’sty, ready… zhu… enough.”

They said consorts went mad when left too long without favor in the depths of the palace.

Mei Anqing…

Hers was a complicated case.

Murong Su hadn’t understood a word.

Still, he did his best to see things from her point of view.

She seemed frightened out of her wits tonight;

She kept mentioning pigs;

She kept eating.

Did Mei Anqing think she was a pig?

Murong Su found the idea rather absurd.

But looking at her impassioned expression, he thought he could understand.

He gave it some serious consideration.

Then inspiration struck.

Could she actually have meant “pig demon” as a compliment?

That made sense.

No one under heaven would insult him by calling him a pig.

In truth, he rather liked what she’d said.

Whatever he was, that was what she saw.

Perhaps… only in the eyes of someone half mad could he be himself.

Looking at this beautiful, half-crazed woman, Murong Su smiled helplessly. “Let’s go to bed.”