Chapter 3
Ah Ping and I parted at a ferry landing on the way to Jiangnan. Her mother said I could go home with them if I wished.
I shook my head and hugged my little bundle. I still had a promise to keep.
In just a few months, I felt I had grown a great deal.
Ah Ping held me and cried as we said goodbye at the landing. We had grown up together. She said she could not bear to leave me.
I had nothing to give her. All I could say was, “Ah Ping, I hope you and Auntie will always be happy and safe.”
She wiped her tears and hooked her little finger around mine. “You too.”
We boarded different boats. When they pulled away, we each stood at the bow, waving goodbye.
It was another two months before I reached the capital. The trading firm’s owner, who had brought me there, kindly gave me a little silver.
“Little girl, I’ve done as Shaoyuan asked and brought you here safely. I’ll take my leave now. I hope you’ll soon be reunited with your family.”
I had not told him whom I meant to find. She had warned me not to tell just anyone, so he left me at an inn.
After he went, I stood alone in a street in the capital. Everything around me was beyond anything I had ever dared imagine.
I asked the innkeeper for directions and made my way to the capital’s magistrate’s office, the place she had told me about, carefully guarding the bloodstained garment against my chest.
Only later did I learn that the magistrate with the graying beard was her maternal uncle. After I beat the drum to petition for justice and presented the bloodstained garment, he hurried out. He held it and wept. He dismissed everyone, asked me for every detail, then summoned his men and had me locked in a dungeon.
It was dark and damp, with no daylight. I huddled in a corner with my knees drawn up and thought it was much like the cellar at home.
I do not know exactly how long I stayed there. Several months, perhaps. Someone brought food every day. Later, I even thought that being shut in there forever would be a heavenly life.
Every meal came with meat, something I had never eaten before, and the bedding was so soft. It was only after a while, with no one to talk to, that I sometimes felt bored.
But I hid scraps of meat in a corner, and every night I heard the squeaking of rats.
In time they stopped being afraid of me. They ate their meat and stared back at me.
I crouched nearby, hugging my knees, and talked to them.
“Little rats, do you think my mother… do you think someone has brought her home?”
A rat glanced at me. I broke off another piece of meat and set it down. “I hope she’s back with her family.”
I remembered the magistrate crying over the bloodstained garment and felt sad. How much her family must have suffered all those years.
A deep sense of shame took root in me. For the first time, I felt with terrible clarity how disgraceful my existence was.
I had lost count of the times I had confided in the little rats when someone came to the dungeon.
She was a dignified, kindly-looking woman. Though plainly advanced in years, she still carried herself with youthful grace. Many people followed her. As lamplight flooded the dungeon, several fat rats scurried away. In their flight, they sent a lump of meat tumbling to the hem of her skirt.
“How dare you offend Her Majesty the Empress Dowager!”
A maid behind her scolded loudly. I bowed my head very low. I did not know what an empress dowager was, but I understood that she must be someone very important.
I knelt on the other side of the cell door and did not dare look up for a long time.
At last, she gave a faint sigh. Her voice held something that might, unexpectedly, have been compassion. “Rise.”
I stayed on my knees but lifted my head. Her gentle gaze rested on my face. After studying me in silence for a long while, she said slowly, “Those eyes look so much like hers.”
I knew at once whom she meant.
After a moment’s hesitation, I asked very carefully, “Has she… come home?”
The old woman looked at me, her expression soft, and nodded.
That day, she took me out of the dungeon and into a place called the imperial palace.