Chapter 1

Chapter 1

In a livestream room with several thousand viewers,

people were lining up to connect on mic and have their antiques appraised.

A viewer with the username “Marshal Zhu” got connected.

A chubby, big-eared face filled the screen. He held up his camera for a full minute without doing anything.

I urged him impatiently, “If you want me to look at something, hurry up. Stop wasting time.”

“Sister Chao, how do I switch screens?”

The man picked his nose.

I frowned.

“You think a living person can die from holding in his pee? Are you really that stupid?

“Tap the right side!”

Great. A fake.

Next person on mic.

It was a bald man with tiny eyes. He held up a long painting, puffing out his chest with utter confidence and a smug sense of superiority.

“Sister Chao, take a look. This is an authentic Qi Baishi. Open-and-shut genuine! It should be worth a few million, right?”

In antiques, “open-and-shut” referred to whether an item was genuine.

I stared at the black blob of ink so blurry I couldn’t even make out the design.

It didn’t even deserve to be called a fake.

I spoke without mercy.

“Worth a few million my ass. It’s pure scribbling. Qi Baishi painted shrimp. You’re just blind.

“Next.”

“Sister Chao, can you help me see if this jade pendant is an antique? Is it from the Eastern Zhou or Western Zhou?”

I didn’t even need a second glance. It was as new as new could be.

I smiled and mocked him.

“It’s from last week. Go away and reflect on yourself.”

Next.

“Sister Chao, how do I turn on the camera?”

“Figure it out yourself. You’ve got two eggs hanging under your eyebrows, but all they can do is blink, not look.”

Next next.

“Sister Chao, does this look genuine?”

“Putting it in recycling would be an unnecessary extra step.”

At long last, I finally got someone who actually knew how to connect on mic and had a real item.

But the moment I saw the rusted, cup-shaped object on the screen, I was so shocked I couldn’t speak.

A long-burning lamp used as an offering to the dead.

Under normal circumstances, no one would touch something like that.

“No, bro. Do you even know what you’re holding?”

The other person sounded utterly clueless, his tone innocent.

“It’s probably a wine cup. I can sell it to some city folks for a high price so they can use it while making tea around a stove.”

“…You’re using someone’s funeral lamp for fireside tea?”

Sure enough, ignorance was fearless.

The comments exploded too.

[Holy shit, that’s insane!]

[No wonder people in novels hate amateurs, hahahaha.]

[A true materialist warrior!]

[Now this is a deathly famous scene!]

After hearing that, the other person fell silent for a moment, then said, “Sister Chao, do you want it? I’ll give it to you.”

He wanted to dump this extremely illegal, extremely cursed hot potato on me???

I laughed out of sheer anger.

“Get lost.”

…

After looking at items all night,

not only were they all weirdos, there wasn’t a single decent piece among them.

I hadn’t earned a damn cent.

I snapped and said in a frenzy, “Is there not a single normal person on this late at night?

“I’ll randomly connect one last person, then I’m ending the stream!”

A blank avatar with the username “KW” was selected.

The other side didn’t seem to have expected it. First, a frantic clattering came through the mic.

Then came the sound of fingers jabbing at the screen.

Mixed in faintly was a tiny voice.

“Stupid hand, hurry up!”

After waiting a few seconds,

the camera still hadn’t turned on.

Expressionless, I clicked my tongue.

The comments, however, grew excited.

[Sister Chao’s about to go off.]

[Another one who doesn’t know how to operate the mic. He’s definitely getting scolded.]

[The army of people getting yelled at welcomes a new member, heehee.]

Just as my patience was about to run out and I was getting ready to ask whether his brain was purely decorative,

the camera on the other side suddenly turned on.

Through the screen, I met a pair of clear, beautiful eyes.

The young man’s fair face was flushed.

He swallowed, then apologized nervously.

“Sister… I’m sorry… I still can’t figure out how to flip the camera.”

He looked so obedient and soft.

And the way he called me sister was extremely pleasant to hear.

True, he was stupid, but he was also painfully beautiful.

The irritation between my brows instantly melted into a kind smile.

I propped my chin on my hand, as gentle as could be.

“It’s okay. It doesn’t matter if you don’t know how. I’ll teach you, okay? No rush.”