Chapter 2

Chapter 2

In the afternoon, the emperor ultimately still did not go see Consort Gui, but he did bestow upon her a pair of emerald jade vases.

I fought for the job of delivering the reward, because I really did not want to go inside and serve the emperor. At least if I went to the rear palace, I could stroll around the gardens a bit.

Consort Gui lived in Jade Fortune Hall, which was very close to the Hall of Mental Cultivation.

When she saw the jade vases, a faint smile curved across her cool, aloof face.

“Put them down. Tell His Majesty that I do not like these things, and that he need not waste any more thought on me.”

With that, she ordered someone to reward me with a piece of broken silver.

My eyes nearly popped out.

I wanted to betray the emperor.

Everyone, if one day a tip from someone else’s boss is higher than the wages your own boss pays you, then I’m sure you’ll understand how I felt.

“Your Highness, what do you like? This servant will pass it on to His Majesty, and he will definitely get it for you.”

Consort Gui looked at me in surprise, as if she had never seen a palace maid so bold.

Actually, I regretted it the moment the words left my mouth.

Money had twisted my mind, making me mistakenly believe that she and I had grown closer.

Next time, I had to keep my mouth shut.

Consort Gui smiled.

“You are rather interesting. However, what I want, His Majesty will never give me. Go on.”

Then she rewarded me with another ingot of silver.

I took a deep breath.

There was nothing wrong with being a hopeless romantic. A hopeless romantic only wanted love. What was so bad about that? Give it to her!

I really wanted to bring Prince An into the palace for her.

When I returned to the Hall of Mental Cultivation, the emperor was reviewing memorials. His expression was twisted, and he was muttering curses under his breath.

“Your Majesty, this is the rainfall situation in Jizhou for the eighth month… It is already the tenth month. What use is it for you to tell Us about the eighth month now?”

“Your Majesty, the mangoes at this official’s residence have ripened, and I offer them for Your Majesty to taste… We do not like mangoes. Do not send them again.”

“Your Majesty, are you well? This official is very well… We are not well. We read your nonsense every day, and We are very unwell. Is there not a single one of you capable of reporting good news?”

“Hm? This one is somewhat interesting… A type of rice seed that can be harvested twice a year has been discovered, and they hope it can be widely promoted… Let me take another look.”

The emperor carefully read the memorial. I quietly returned to my place and did my duty as a decoration.

After the emperor finished reviewing the memorials, he stretched, and only then did he notice me. He asked, “What did Consort Gui say?”

This was something the emperor asked every single time.

Eunuch Li, the chief eunuch of the Hall of Mental Cultivation, would usually pick out many pleasant things to say.

It was precisely those pleasant words that made the emperor believe Consort Gui had feelings for him. Then every time he went to see her, he would have a bucket of cold water poured over his head and get tormented all over again.

I decided to try a different approach and steer His Majesty’s attention toward money.

A good wage earner had to consciously guide the boss into giving employees bonuses.

“Consort Gui rewarded this servant with an ingot of silver.”

The emperor did not take my hint. He would talk himself into it instead.

“We knew she would like them.”

“Consort Gui said that Your Majesty should not send anything in the future and need not waste thought on her.”

The emperor’s eyes dimmed.

I added, “This servant said that if Consort Gui liked anything, she could say it and His Majesty would definitely get it for her. Then Consort Gui rewarded this servant with another ingot of silver.”

The emperor’s eyes lit up again.

“Xiao Xi, you did well.”

I quietly waited for what came next, but there was nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Not even a single copper coin.

Hmph!

No wonder you can’t get a wife!!

For the entire afternoon, the emperor was restless.

He was trying to guess what exactly Consort Gui liked.

[She likes Prince An. Bring Prince An into the palace and let her sleep with him.]

[Oh, definitely not. The emperor’s tears would flood the entire palace, hahahahaha…]

[The crybaby should stop being emperor and let Prince An take over. Prince An wouldn’t shed tears for Consort Gui, because he doesn’t love her at all. He would make Consort Gui so angry she’d develop breast nodules, then torment her body and soul. After Consort Gui kicked the bucket, he’d mourn her while sleeping with other women.]

Me: “…”

Maybe I should bring Prince An into the palace, castrate him, and make him a eunuch. That would ease Consort Gui’s lovesickness.

The emperor finally stopped wanting to think about it himself. He looked at me, then at Eunuch Zhao.

“Tell me, what does Consort Gui like? If you can think of it, We will reward you handsomely.”

This was the first time in my three years in the palace that I had heard His Majesty dangle a carrot.

To be honest, I was a little tempted.

“Your Majesty, what if you just give Consort Gui whatever she likes?”

The emperor’s face darkened.

Me: ??

He knew Consort Gui liked Prince An? Even so, he still liked Consort Gui?

As expected of the emperor. What a broad mind he had.