Chapter 1

Chapter 1

After I saw the floating comments, I sneaked glance after glance at the emperor.

The emperor said coldly, “Look again and I’ll have your eyes gouged out.”

Whoa. Scary.

But I went to Xiamen University.

So I tested the waters in a tiny voice.

“Your Majesty, your eyes look a little swollen.”

A flicker of panic slipped across the emperor’s face, but it was gone in an instant, replaced by his usual expressionless mask.

He gave me an icy glare.

I snapped back to my senses. Honestly, I must have gotten too bold, too full of myself. Just because I could see the floating comments, I thought I had some kind of golden finger and actually dared to question my boss.

I hurriedly said, “Your Majesty, even if you stay up late reviewing memorials, you must take care of your health. Your eyes are all red from exhaustion. This servant will prepare tea bags to reduce the swelling right away. I guarantee no one will be able to tell your eyes were swollen.”

The emperor’s mouth, which had just opened, paused slightly. “Hmph. Go.”

I bowed and withdrew. Only when the breeze brushed my face did I realize I had just taken a stroll past the gates of hell.

I had transmigrated here three years ago.

All this time, I had done a good job suppressing my true nature. It was just that, every once in a while, it still slipped out.

Like today. Seeing the floating comments made me feel like I was back in the modern world, like I was capable again. I actually dared to test the emperor.

I casually made two tea bags and brought them to the emperor.

The emperor frowned, clearly unwilling to put them over his eyes. But he hated the idea of people seeing his swollen eyes even more, so he tilted his head back, signaling for me to place the tea bags on him.

He looked so funny with tea bags over his eyes. If I had a phone, I would absolutely have taken a picture.

The emperor said, “Are you laughing at me?”

Me: “???”

What, I work all day and I’m not even allowed to secretly laugh at my boss?

I lowered my head and said calmly, “Your Majesty, this servant would not dare.”

The floating comments drifted before my eyes.

[Emperor, what right do you have to talk about her? Aren’t you going to secretly look in the mirror once this little palace maid leaves?]

[What’s this palace maid’s name?]

[She’s called Xiao Xi. A background character.]

[Your Majesty, I’d like to report her. She really was laughing. Her shoulders shook twice.]

Me: “…”

You traitor to the working class.

The emperor then said, “What kind of tea is this? It smells rather fragrant.”

Me: “…”

I’d been lazy and used the jasmine tea the palace maids drank. The super cheap kind…

After all, it was just going on his eyes. I couldn’t very well use Huangshan Maofeng or pre-rain Longjing.

However, after working here for three years, I had already learned how to manage upward.

I said, “This servant is ignorant and cannot identify what tea it is. I only thought it smelled pleasant and figured Your Majesty might like it, so I prepared some.”

The emperor gave a faint mm, and a strangely pleased smile appeared on his face.

[There he goes, flattering himself again. Consort Gui loves using jasmine fragrance the most. He must be thinking of Consort Gui.]

[When Consort Gui first met Prince An, she was wearing jasmine fragrance. Prince An praised her for smelling lovely, and ever since then, she has only used jasmine. The emperor has no idea he’s already been thoroughly cuckolded.]

According to the floating comments, the emperor loved Consort Gui, while Consort Gui loved Prince An.

Prince An had failed in the struggle for the throne and held a grudge. Knowing that Consort Gui had feelings for him, he would flirt with her every now and then, teasing her until she kept herself pure for him while treating the emperor with nothing but cold disdain.

In this three-person story, two of them were masters of manipulative PUA tactics, and two of them were hopeless romantics with love-addled brains.

Consort Gui alone was both a manipulator and a hopeless romantic. Very well-rounded.

After the emperor finished treating his eyes, I took the used tea bags and left.

The floating comments said that after I left, the emperor secretly looked in the mirror. He was also thinking that if he went to see Consort Gui like this, she probably wouldn’t be able to tell he had cried, because he didn’t want Consort Gui to get too smug.

Me: “…”

Ew.

If a dog ate this love-addled brain nonsense, it would sue for poisoning.