Chapter 5

It was still early when I woke again.

His large hand remained clasped firmly around my waist.

Last night’s madness kept replaying in my mind.

I gently lifted the quilt, trying to slip out of his arms.

The moment I moved, his arm tightened.

“Don’t go…”

I shivered all over and dared not turn around. “Your Majesty, you were drunk last night, and I lost my senses too…”

His warm breath brushed behind my ear. “Shanwu, that isn’t what you said last night.”

My face burned. I pushed him hard. “Your Majesty! We can’t do this again.”

He did not budge. Instead, he lowered his head and brushed his nose against my ear. “Call me Wulang.”

“…”

“Say it.”

I bit my lip without answering and shoved him away.

Snatching up my discarded outer robe, I threw it on and ran barefoot toward the door.

“Shanwu!”

His voice pursued me, angry.

The side hall door stood wide open. Cold wind swept inside with flurries of snow.

I dared not stop. Only at the far end of the palace street did I halt, bracing myself against the wall and gasping for breath.

I absolutely could not stay.

Yuan Zhaoyu was no Yuan Xiujin.

He was the emperor, ruler of all his subjects. What sort of woman could he not have?

If I melted in his arms, perhaps I could win a few days of tenderness.

But that would be foolish.

Men were base creatures at heart. The easier something was to obtain, the less they valued it.

And I had never wanted a passing favor.

So I had to flee.

The more desperate my flight appeared, the more he would believe last night’s disgrace had sprung from sudden feeling, rather than calculation.

He would think of me, yearn for me, every day.

Afterward, whenever Yuan Zhaoyu saw a woman in his harem,

he would remember the snow at Fengyi Palace, and my red eyes as I called him Wulang.

He would remember Meng Shanwu, who had cried before the empress’s coffin yet refused to stay.

…

Back at the Duke of Meng’s residence, Lühe brought hot water and dressed my wounds as best she could.

Even inside soft embroidered shoes, the wounds on my feet hurt fiercely. The pain also cleared my head.

In his study,

my father sat in a grand armchair, dark shadows beneath his eyes.

I bent my knees in greeting. “Father.”

He made a faint gesture for me to rise and sighed deeply.

“Now that the empress has died, I’m afraid your marriage will be difficult…”

“I’ve thought about it for a long time. Perhaps you could enter as a concubine first.”

“Once you’ve won his favor, the Meng clan can petition on your behalf. There will still be hope of becoming crown princess.”

I looked at him. “Let me guess. Was this the clan head’s idea, or Second Uncle’s?”

Father opened his mouth, then silently admitted it.

Though he was Duke of Meng, back in Qishan he had belonged only to the third branch.

The first and second branches stood above him. He had not even had a voice in clan discussions.

Had my aunt not become empress, this title would never have fallen to him.

All these years of yielding to the clan and letting them lead him about had long since robbed him of his own judgment.

“Do you think I’ll be safe just because I enter the Eastern Palace?”

He hesitated.

I continued, “Yao Mingzhu is wellborn, and hardly a kind woman. Am I going in to become crown princess, or a living target?”

Father sounded torn. “But if you don’t enter the Eastern Palace, am I really to send you to an estate? You’re in the prime of your youth. How could I bear it?”

A little warmth stirred in my heart.

Weak though he was, Father still loved me.

“Father, if the road to the Eastern Palace is closed, I simply won’t take it.”

“Don’t forget, however high the Eastern Palace stands, there is still a dragon throne above it.”