Chapter 3

After my aunt died, Fengyi Palace emptied all at once.

Servants had once hurried in and out, and the medicine stove had burned day and night.

Now there was only me, and an ever-burning lamp before the Buddhist shrine.

Late at night, the side hall door creaked open.

I thought it was the maid bringing lamp oil, but when I looked up, Yuan Zhaoyu stood in the doorway.

I hurried to rise and bow. “Peace to Your Majesty.”

He looked around the room. “Why aren’t you at the mourning hall?”

“The crown prince forbade me to approach it, so I’m reciting sutras for my aunt here.”

His lips tightened. “Xiu is being unreasonable. Don’t let it trouble you.”

I smiled and shook my head. “It makes no difference where I recite them. The Bodhisattva can hear me, and so can my aunt.”

That night, Yuan Zhaoyu stayed a long time.

I knelt on the prayer cushion, chanting, with the heat of his gaze on my back.

Before leaving, he asked, “Are you cold?”

I shook my head. “No.”

I was, in fact, cold.

But I knew that at a moment like this, I must not seem to be trying too hard.

He turned to Xu Jiuliang. “Bring her a hand warmer.”

Over the next few days, Yuan Zhaoyu would always spend a little time in Fengyi Palace’s side hall late at night.

He seldom said much, only sat in a chair beside me and watched me chant.

As I saw him out one night, the cold wind blew and I gave two muffled coughs.

The next day, Xu Jiuliang personally brought me a bowl of snow pear soup.

“His Majesty ordered it. He says your throat is delicate, miss, and you mustn’t strain it.”

I knew he had begun to care about me.

On the thirteenth night, heavy rain fell.

He smelled of wine when he arrived.

I rose to meet him, but after two steps my knees suddenly buckled. He caught me firmly.

My timid gaze met his.

Once again, he went distant.

I knew he was thinking of my aunt.

I lowered my eyes. “Forgive my clumsiness.”

He came back to himself. “Do your knees still hurt?”

“A little.”

“Why not rest for a while?”

I smiled, letting a little girlish innocence show. “What if my aunt blames me for being lazy?”

He watched me for a long time, then fled almost in disarray.

“Get some rest.”

I could see the restraint in his eyes.

Little by little, the rainy night was wearing it down. Soon, it would give way.

On the forty-ninth day, the empress was laid to rest.

I dressed and prepared to see my aunt off one last time.

Lühe was worried. “Miss, I’m afraid they’ll humiliate you again…”

“I know.”

But I kept walking.

The more Yuan Xiujin forbade me to go, the more determined I was to go.

Otherwise, how would Yuan Zhaoyu see just how much I had suffered?