Chapter 90
Chapter 90
“Look at what your life has become. Is this the life you wanted?” Pei Xianjing looked her over from head to toe.
His words were full of concern and heartache.
But to Xing Shuwei, they meant something else entirely.
She was certain Pei Xianjing was laughing at her, mocking her for being unable to live a decent life without him.
Pei Xianjing’s brows drew together. His bloodless lips parted as he continued, “Carrying water, cooking, wearing clothes of coarse hemp.
“Working day and night for a few scraps of silver, selling your ancestral property, unable even to keep yourself fed and clothed-is this the life you went to such lengths to escape for?”
No matter how he put it, he simply could not understand why she would rather treat herself so harshly than remain at his side.
“This is how I choose to live.” Beneath the quilt, Xing Shuwei clenched her hands tightly into fists.
This time, she refused to go back to being an obedient, submissive thing that existed only to please him.
Her life was hard now, but compared with her days at the Duke of Qi’s estate, it offered her far more freedom to do as she pleased.
Besides, what was wrong with selling her ancestral property to treat wounded soldiers? Those men were people of Great Yue too!
They fought for their country, yet suffered terribly because there was no medicine to treat their blade wounds…
Once, those soldiers had existed at such a distance from her that she had rarely even thought of them.
After coming here, words like “loyalty,” “valor,” and “unity between soldiers and civilians” had become real and tangible. The shock that rose from the depths of her soul made it impossible for her to turn a blind eye to any of it.
It was as though she would never be able to live with herself if she did not do everything in her power for them.
As a pillar of the state, what standing did Pei Xianjing have to speak of these things in such a tone?
Xing Shuwei’s voice was like water welling endlessly from a deep well, cold enough to send a chill through the bones. “In your eyes, making me a concubine is already an immense favor.
“The Duke of Qi’s estate and a man like you make me feel that staying in the capital would be no better than staying here. Not in the slightest.”
The corner of Xing Shuwei’s mouth twitched. Her eyes were scarlet, yet a self-mocking smile clung to her lips.
“Even if I have to live on husks and chaff and work myself to death, I choose it.
“Why can’t you simply consider me dead? Why must you keep trying to drag me back to the capital and torment me?”
Every word pierced Pei Xianjing’s heart like a needle.
The reason he had forced himself to summon was swept away completely at that moment, scattered by her own hand.
Then what did everything between them in the past amount to?
What of all the times over those four years when she had greeted him with a smile and told him she belonged to him alone?
“What do you mean by that?” He yanked her toward him, forcing her to meet his eyes.
Disbelief filled his gaze, as though the person reflected in his pupils was not the woman who had shared his bed for four years, but a stranger he had never known.
How could she be so cruel?
“Xing Shuwei, how can you say something so heartless? Do you know what I’ve done for you?
“How can you… how can you make a fool of me like this?”
“I don’t know, and I don’t want to know.” She struggled violently, trying to wrench free of his grip.
But his hold only tightened.
He seized her arm and dragged her back onto the bed, pressing his other hand down on her shoulder.
Pain-Xing Shuwei felt as though the bones in her shoulder were about to shatter.
Her back struck the quilt.
Pei Xianjing shifted ceaselessly between fury and calm.
His eyes visibly reddened, turning bloodshot at an alarming pace.
“You will know. I’ll make certain you know.
“Once I take you back to the capital, once you’ve seen it with your own eyes and heard it with your own ears, you’ll know.”
“Surely you don’t think you can hide from everyone here and live as a pair of illicit lovers with Zhang Mingan?”
Xing Shuwei found it hard to breathe.
It was probably because he had pinned her into the quilt while she continued struggling to escape his control.
Blood seeping from his wounds ran along the raised veins in his arm and dripped onto her shoulder.
“Stop!” Xing Shuwei cried urgently.
Even she could not tell whether she spoke out of fear that he would force himself on her, or concern for his injuries.
If he died on a bed with her in it, neither the Pei family nor the imperial court would spare her.
“What? Are you saving yourself for Zhang Mingan now?”
His voice mingled with the sharp rip of tearing cloth.
The offensive gray fabric she wore was reduced to shreds in an instant and fell to the floor.
Pei Xianjing restrained her with a single arm, leaving her unable to move.
No matter when, before him she was always like an object he could manipulate at will.
Pei Xianjing lowered his head and bit her at the center of her chest.
As though punishing her.
Xing Shuwei raised her free hand to push against his shoulder.
He caught it without warning and lifted it above her head together with her other hand.
To think he had even considered her feelings, when she cared so little for him.
Xing Shuwei held her neck rigid and called his name in panic.
Warm blood ran from his body, turning cold when it dripped onto hers.
Xing Shuwei thought he had gone mad.
But he had no intention of letting her go.
He bent over her, bringing his weight down until there was no possibility of escape.
Pei Xianjing gripped her chin. One scorching kiss after another rained down on her.
The last remnants of his reason collapsed the instant he tasted sweetness.
“Mm.” Every sound Xing Shuwei made was trapped in her throat.
The white hair at his temples fell across her cheek, winding through her sweat-soaked black hair and clinging to her neck.
His gaze settled on the intertwined locks, while Xing Shuwei’s heartless words circled endlessly in his mind.
He wanted to punish her without mercy, but when he saw her weeping helplessly in his arms, he softened again.
“Xing Shuwei, what am I supposed to do with you? What am I supposed to do?”
His voice was hoarse with the pain of his wounds tearing open.
Outside the door, Xu Liangcai and his wife frowned deeply.
“His Lordship is still wounded. This can’t go on, can it?” Xu Liangcai said.
Wang Julan twisted the corner of her clothes anxiously. “I’m worried too.”
The couple turned to look at Chengde at the same time.
Chengde shook his head like a rattle drum. “Don’t look at me. There’s nothing I can do.”
The three sat on the steps, genuinely sick with worry.
In the end, Wang Julan could bear it no longer. She shot to her feet and, mustering her courage, called through the door, “My lord, um… it’s time to change your dressings.”
A series of crashes came from inside the room, frightening Wang Julan into immediately closing her mouth.
Xu Liangcai sighed, rose, and silently went to prepare the medicine.
No one knew how much time had passed before Pei Xianjing’s voice came from inside once more. “The General of Distant Pacification has presumably rested long enough.
“Chengde, invite him here. I have important matters to discuss with him.”
“Yes.” Chengde acknowledged the order and turned to leave.
The bedchamber door opened. Pei Xianjing’s face was cold as he told Wang Julan, “Aunt Lan, go apply some medicine to her.”
“Yes.” Wang Julan answered, then entered the room carrying two bottles of ointment for bruises and sprains.
Pei Xianjing, meanwhile, went to the side room with a cold expression.
Xu Liangcai followed him-his wounds needed to be bandaged again.
Inside the bedchamber, Xing Shuwei lay weakly on the bed.
The exposed half of her body was covered with red finger marks.
“Miss Yu,” Wang Julan called timidly.
Xing Shuwei raised her eyes and made out the woman’s face.
The fury in her gaze instantly gave way to the deathly stillness of a frozen pool.
So Pei Xianjing had planted someone beside her long ago.