Chapter 80
Chapter 80
Panzhou was not far from Qizhou, and Pei Xianjing was an exceptional rider.
In less than a day, they reached Qizhou City.
Chengde wore a straw hat and a false beard, dressed in ordinary clothes as he drove the carriage.
Before entering the city, they had deliberately disguised themselves. They bought an ordinary medicine merchant’s carriage and dressed the soldiers as commoners, merchants, merchant-house retainers, and servants before entering together.
The people in the streets were cheering.
There was none of the tension of a city at war.
It looked more like a celebration after a great victory.
Pei Xianjing was faintly puzzled-
Under these circumstances, had Zhang Mingan still managed to defeat the enemy so quickly?
He frowned and ordered Chengde to get down and learn what had happened.
It turned out that Zhang Mingan had charged deep into the enemy ranks and severely wounded their commander. Qizhou’s soldiers, their morale soaring, launched a reckless charge and temporarily drove back a larger enemy force despite being heavily outnumbered.
The enemy had retreated thirty li from the city.
After climbing back into the carriage, Chengde said to Pei Xianjing, “Eldest Young Master, Lord Zhang is truly willing to risk everything.
“No wonder he dared promise the Emperor that no one but him could hold Qizhou City.
“For such disregard for his own life and such savage resolve, there truly is no second man like him in the entire imperial court.”
Pei Xianjing stared coldly out the carriage window and uttered only one command in a heavy voice. “Go to Xujiakou Alley.”
Chengde obeyed and drove the carriage toward Xujiakou Alley.
Night fell late during Qizhou’s summers.
It was already half past five, yet the sun still hung high in the sky.
The carriage stopped beyond the crowd. Pei Xianjing lifted the curtain and gazed at the slender figure in plain clothing from afar.
Beside an old well, Xing Shuwei bent over and laboriously drew up a bucket of water.
Using a dipper, she filled a wooden basin, then crouched and soaked the cloth draped over her shoulder.
After wringing it half dry, she rose and gently lifted Zhang Mingan’s blood-soaked hair with her fingers, wiping the blood and grime from his face.
Zhang Mingan sat motionless in a bamboo chair, reciting the names of his personal guards one by one.
“Feng Kai, Zeng Kui, Wang Xiaoren, Wang Xiaoxiao, Chen Xu…”
“I took them onto the battlefield. I never imagined… that they would… fall here, just like this.
“Weiwei, I was not the one who held Qizhou City. They were!”
Zhang Mingan’s hand trembled.
For a moment, he could not tell whether it shook from the pain of his wounded arm or because he could not face the deaths of those personal guards.
Xing Shuwei removed the broken remains of his armor.
In a calm voice, she said, “Life has always been bitter for frontier soldiers, and the lives of soldiers and civilians along the border have always been treated as cheap.
“Whether or not the world remembers them, you and I will. The people of Qizhou will remember them.
“We will recover their bodies and erect memorials. We will sing of their achievements and virtues.
“For a thousand generations, I believe the people who live on this land of Qizhou will remember Feng Kai, Zeng Kui, Wang Xiaoren, Wang Xiaoxiao, Chen Xu, and Chen Jianian…”
She knew these personal guards. She remembered their names.
She had sewn every stitch of their protective charms with her own hands, then gone especially to the army camp on the eve of battle to give the charms to them.
Xing Shuwei remembered every smiling face.
Although Zhang Mingan had never told her, she had long since learned from them that they were all pitiful orphans without homes.
Zhang Mingan had fought his own brothers in bitter internecine strife.
Yet he treated these men like brothers of his own.
If they had not relied upon one another through life and death all along, why would they have abandoned peaceful lives in the capital to risk everything with him in Qizhou?
As Xing Shuwei bandaged his wound, she said, “I know how you feel.
“Yan’er once faced a mortal crisis because of me as well.
“Mingan, if we cannot let go of this guilt, then we will remember it.
“Then, carrying that guilt with us, we will properly defend this land they protected with their lives.
“Mingan, you must live well. You must understand that this was their wish too.”
“So in the future, do not stand in front of Yan’er and shield him every time.
“I am afraid… I am afraid I will have failed these fallen heroes.”
She feared that if Zhang Mingan someday died taking a blade for Yan’er, what would she do?
How could she face the personal guards who had given their lives for Zhang Mingan, or the neighbors of Xujiakou Alley who regarded him as their own child?
The two gazed at each other, leaving only silence between them.
Zhang Mingan’s eyes reddened. Xing Shuwei stood before him, blocking him from the cheering people behind her.
The city had held, and the people were happy.
Xing Shuwei pressed the cloth beneath his chin. “If your heart hurts, shed a few tears.
“Only I will know.
“Do not worry. I certainly will not tell anyone.”
Zhang Mingan lowered his head, his voice choked. “Who says I am going to cry?
“What kind of life and death have I not witnessed? I have always known when to hold on and when to let go.”
His hand, trembling without cease, tightened into a fist as he restrained himself with all his strength.
“Enough. There are still matters in the army camp, so I must return. You should go home and rest.
“By the way, Shuyan is fine. His wounds are not serious. He is at the camp in my place, comforting the wounded soldiers,” Zhang Mingan said.
* * *
Inside the carriage, Pei Xianjing watched all of this, grinding his teeth until they nearly shattered-
She had refused to remain beside him, yet she had come here to serve Zhang Mingan like a maid.
Before Pei Xianjing, she would not even willingly grind ink. But for Zhang Mingan, she drew water and bandaged his wounds?
When she walked beside Pei Xianjing, she feared anyone seeing them. Every other sentence from her lips was about protecting his reputation.
Yet before Zhang Mingan, in broad daylight and under countless watching eyes, she removed his armor and cut open his clothes?
The deep affection she had shown Pei Xianjing was false. Her fear of death before him had been false.
She would not entrust Xing Shuyan to Pei Xianjing, yet she willingly let Xing Shuyan follow Zhang Mingan onto the battlefield.
Pei Xianjing hated.
He hated Xing Shuwei for being so utterly foolish that she would rather trust a wastrel who used her life to advance his career than trust him.
He hated Xing Shuwei for being so cruel to him, for leaving not the slightest place for him in her heart.
He hated that she had rejected the good life he planned for her and insisted on coming to a place like this to suffer hardship.
Beneath all that hatred, what he hated was himself-for being inferior even to a wastrel.
Pei Xianjing racked his mind, but could not fathom how he was inferior to Zhang Mingan.
His fists clenched until his knuckles cracked.
His blade-sharp gaze had long since passed over the crowd and begun flaying Xing Shuwei where she stood.
She had made him go mad in the capital like a laughingstock.
Yet here she was, braving life and death beside Zhang Mingan.
While doing all of this, had she never considered what would happen to her if he found out?
She truly showed him not the slightest regard!
Pei Xianjing’s tightly knitted brows suddenly relaxed.
He laughed from sheer fury.
Xing Shuwei certainly had not thought of him at all. Otherwise, she could never have shown such undisguised care for another man.
Xing Shuwei carried the wooden basin away to empty it. She kept feeling as though a fierce gaze were trying to flay her alive.
Startled, she looked all around. Beyond the crowd, traffic filled the street, but she found nothing unusual.