Chapter 1

After landing in a Journey to the West fanfic and fighting my way through the Golden-Furred Hou, the Leopard Demon, the Spider Demons, Kui Mulang, and the rest, I began to understand that some fates simply couldn’t be changed.

Master was going to get kidnapped. There was no stopping him.

He always found a way through every layer of our defenses to deliver himself to the demons in some completely unexpected fashion.

I’d despaired. I’d gone numb. I’d stopped caring.

As long as he didn’t drag me along, I could even calmly announce, “Eldest Brother, the demons have kidnapped Master again.”

But that bald man just had to drag me into everything.

I asked him why.

He smiled a little shyly. “If you’re there, Wukong comes to rescue me a little sooner.”

Oh, no. I’d become the bald man’s hostage.

The pilgrimage was actually pretty exhausting.

Sitting on the White Dragon Horse, I sighed. “I’m so tired. All this riding is making my back ache.”

Master was panting along beside us when his legs gave out and he sank to his knees. “Th-then why don’t you get down and stretch? Let your master ride for a while.”

“I’m not that tired.”

His eyes reddened.

“Fine, you can ride. You can ride.”

He stayed sprawled on the ground, his eyes growing redder. “I’m thirsty, too.”

“And hungry.”

“Ah, living is so tiring. I might as well die.”

Wait. Why were you having a meltdown now, too?

Fortunately, there was a river not far ahead. Second Brother eagerly went to fetch some water, only to come back crestfallen. “We can’t drink from this river. The water’s black.”

Oh. We’d reached Blackwater River.

I vaguely remembered this episode, though not much of it. As long as I remembered to stay away from the bald man, what could any demon do to me?

Then, the moment we started discussing how to cross, the bald man specifically asked me to carry him over.

Seriously? Were you ever going to let this go?

I pointed at Eldest Brother. “Eldest Brother says he’d love to carry you.”

Eldest Brother gave me a cool glance, his expression sharp as a blade, then pointed at Second Brother. “Your Second Brother would like that even more.”

Caught off guard, Second Brother looked utterly shocked, but he recovered fast. “I think Brother Sha would like it best.”

Brother Sha glanced at the White Dragon Horse, crouched down, and quietly began to cry.

“…”

Master started howling, too. “I knew it! None of you can stand me!”

I comforted him. “It’s all right. We only dislike you a little.”

He froze. “Wait. You mean that?”

“…”

Just then, a boatman suddenly appeared by the river.

Master swept out his sleeve. “Hah! A boatman! I’ll find my own way across!”

Oh, that bald man.

There hadn’t been a soul in sight along miles of river a moment ago, and now a boatman had suddenly popped up. Did he really not find that suspicious?

He really didn’t.

He called out loudly, “Boatman, would you be so kind as to take me across?”

The boatman played hard to get. “No, no. That’s not how I make my living.”

I tugged at Master. “Since that’s not what he does, let’s not put him to any trouble.”

The boatman hastily added, “But taking you across isn’t entirely out of the question.”

Master brushed my hand away and shot me a thoroughly smug look. “Then we shall trouble you, kind boatman.”

That bald man. He really couldn’t bear the thought of a demon failing its kidnap-Tang-Sanzang assignment.

The boatman then regretfully explained that there were too many of us. His little boat could carry no more than two passengers at a time.

I immediately stepped back, but I was already too late. Master caught my wrist. “Jiaojiao, where do you think you’re running off to?”

Master, didn’t that line sound a little more like something the demons would say?

I looked at my fellow disciple. “Eldest Brother, would you like the pleasure of a boat ride?”

“Me! Me!” Second Brother cried.

I clapped delightedly. “You it is!”

Second Brother suddenly backed away warily. “No, wait. Little Sister would never let me have anything good. Forget it. I’m not going.”

…

You little punk.