Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Consort Li the Virtuous wanted to take Auntie An and Sui’an away with her.

Both of them refused.

Consort Li the Virtuous did not force the issue, but she let out an exclamation:

“Consort E, oh Consort E, I never expected you to have such good luck.”

She gave me a meaningful look as she left.

I always felt those words were actually directed at me.

She likely meant that for the daughter of a Criminal Consort, I was lucky to have two such loyal palace maids.

She expected me to be grateful to them.

And I was indeed grateful.

It wasn’t because of Consort Li the Virtuous’s words, but because of a gratitude that came from the bottom of my heart.

I saw how hard Sui’an worked.

Even though she worked the night shift, she would still get up during the day to see me off to my lessons. She only slept for a few hours in the afternoon before keeping watch over me again at night.

I also saw how difficult things were for Auntie An.

It turned out that being a palace maid was so exhausting.

The more a master favored you, the less likely you were to even get a good night’s sleep.

I asked Sui’an to sleep with me, promising I would be well-behaved during the night.

After checking that no one was around, she climbed into my bed and held me as we slept.

Lying in her arms, I felt a bit shy but also deeply at peace. So this was what it felt like to be held.

I asked Sui’an, “Why didn’t you go with Consort Li the Virtuous? Why stay with me?”

In truth, I was thinking about much more.

Why did she stay?

Was I worth it?

Was it worth it for a disagreeable child like me?

She pinched my cheek, and her words made my face flush with heat.

“Because I like you. Just thinking about leaving you makes me so sad I want to cry.”

How could there be someone like her?

How could she speak of liking and love so without reservation?

But her words moved me so deeply that I couldn’t help but voice the doubts buried inside me.

“But everyone says I’m bad. Imperial Father doesn’t like me either; he’d rather dote on Zhen’an than pay me any mind. Mother Empress doesn’t like me… the Crown Prince doesn’t like me… Second Imperial Brother… Zhen’an… none of them like me…”

In this world, very few people liked me, except for Sui’an and Auntie An.

That night, Sui’an said many, many things to me.

But only one sentence stayed with me the most.

“There are parents in this world who simply do not love their children. You are just unlucky; it is not your fault.”

Later, it happened many times.

Imperial Father would take Third Imperial Sister and Zhen’an Princess hunting, or to play polo, or to watch cuju, or to attend palace banquets for foreign envoys. I was always the one excluded.

I should have been jealous.

Instead, I found peace.

Because I already knew very clearly that my Imperial Father did not love me.

But it wasn’t my fault. I was a very, very good person in my own right.

I could love myself properly.

I told her, “Imperial Mother Consort called me Rong Bao’er. You can call me Rong Bao’er too.”

Sui’an smiled and kissed my little cheek.

For the first time, I felt myself being tenderly accepted.

In that moment, I let go of the thorns in my heart. I felt I could forgive everyone in the world who had ever bullied me.

Later, when no one was around, she would secretly call me Rong Bao’er, and I would secretly call her Sister.

I thought that in this palace, I finally had a family member.

I began to study in earnest.

I worked hard to create a better living environment for myself.

I made an effort to befriend Third Imperial Sister and took care of my younger brothers and sisters.

I didn’t fawn over them.

I followed Sui’an’s example and treated them with sincerity.

When the Crown Prince finally reached out his claws toward Sui’an, I couldn’t stand it anymore.

He wanted Sui’an to go and serve Zhen’an Princess.

In his eyes, Sui’an was a palace maid with whimsical and clever ideas, someone who could come up with many things others couldn’t. She would surely be able to please Zhen’an Princess.

He believed such a good maid shouldn’t stay by my side.

To put it bluntly, he felt I wasn’t worthy.

He felt Zhen’an Princess was the only one who deserved all the good things.

He was my brother, but his heart had always been with his foster sister, Zhen’an Princess.