Chapter 2
Chapter 2
It took many years for me to realize that when she spoke of poverty, she wasn’t just referring to material wealth, but to the soul.
My soul was truly destitute.
My Imperial Mother Consort was a Criminal Consort, ordered to commit suicide in the Cold Palace.
My Imperial Father disliked me. In an entire year, I could count the number of times I saw him on one hand.
The Empress loathed me as well, because my Imperial Mother Consort had caused her to lose a child.
My mother was dead, but her sins still flowed through my veins.
Everyone felt that I should live a lowly life, that I should be despised, and that I should atone for my mother’s crimes.
Sometimes, I felt that way too.
How could the child of a sinner be anything but a sinner from birth? Perhaps I was simply born to be a Villainess Supporting Character, and no amount of change would ever matter.
But Sui’an didn’t think so.
She believed that since I had never enjoyed the privileges of my mother’s status, I naturally shouldn’t have to bear the punishment for her sins.
She worked very hard to create a warm environment for me within the harsh confines of the imperial court.
Soon, I gained a companion at the Wenhua Garden where I attended classes: my Third Imperial Sister.
I became willing to go to school, even looking forward to those days when I could take out various little trinkets that made everyone else envious.
The only bad part was back at Funing Palace.
My Imperial Mother Consort had been ordered to die for her evils, but the Wet Nurse she left behind was still alive.
The companion of a wicked person is a wicked person themselves.
The Wet Nurse loathed me and tormented me, yet she also lorded over me, as if doing so brought her joy.
She would force medicine down my throat, and seeing my face smeared and filthy with the dregs, she would show a secretive smile.
She forbade me from turning over while I slept; whatever posture I lay down in was the posture I had to be in when I woke up.
Otherwise, I was ‘failing to keep the rules’ or ‘acting disgracefully.’
“Consort E was already a criminal. If you don’t learn your manners properly, others will mock you in the future, saying the daughter of a Criminal Consort has no upbringing.”
In truth, no one else ever mentioned to my face that my mother was a Criminal Consort.
Only she brought it up every single day.
I hated her so much I wanted to kill her.
But I was too small. My cries and screams only made her happy.
My scratching and clawing merely gave her more opportunities to punish me.
“Even the late Empress Dowager said that this servant teaches palace etiquette well. Is the Princess refusing to listen even to the Empress Dowager’s words?”
She would make me kneel on the bed. If my back wasn’t perfectly straight, I would receive a blow from a ruler.
Back then, I thought about it every day.
I should just kill her.
End it once and for all.
I was the daughter of a Criminal Consort anyway, and the daughter of a Criminal Consort was born to commit crimes.
But during the day, Sui’an would tell me stories.
She said she had once read a book of unofficial history.
Every dynasty’s imperial palace was filled with many maids and eunuchs, but not every one of them was loyal and devoted.
Many appeared loyal on the surface but actually wished for their masters’ deaths.
There had even been instances of servants murdering their masters because they could no longer endure the treatment.
Curious, I asked, “Why?”
She didn’t answer immediately. Instead, she stared off into space for a while before whispering, “You’ll understand when you grow up.”
I turned my head away with a huff.
I thought to myself: if she won’t tell me, I can find out on my own. I didn’t want to wait until I grew up to understand. By the time I grew up, I would surely have forgotten the question.
Later, I did find out.
The lives of low-ranking palace maids were very bitter.
They always ate cold food, coarse rice, and salted vegetables. Only during festivals would they occasionally see fresh fruits or vegetables.
Their clothes were always of a uniform style that they were not permitted to alter, and they weren’t allowed to wear any extra flowers in their hair.
Even their sleeping positions were fixed. If they didn’t sleep according to the standard, they would be punished by the head maid of their quarters.
Some would turn a blind eye, but others would use this to bully people, treating it as a form of entertainment in the boring life of the palace.
And the Wet Nurse was simply venting the suffering she had once endured onto me.
She did it because I was weak, easy to bully, and had no one to protect me.
And because she enjoyed the pleasure of treading a high and mighty noble under her feet.