Chapter 3
Chapter 3
By the time dusk fell, a light rain had begun to patter outside.
Guan Wan’s single question to Shao Zhi-when he planned to take a concubine-brought the banquet to an unhappy end.
Shao Zhi dragged me back to our room in a huff and began packing our things, ready to leave at once.
“We’ll leave tomorrow!
“As soon as we’re back, I’ll write to Eldest Brother! I’ll make sure he hears every word of this!”
I rose on tiptoe and smoothed the hair at his temple, smiling gently.
“All right. We’ll leave tomorrow.”
Shao Zhi had drunk too much. Under the lamplight, even the way he looked at me seemed damp and misty.
He felt wronged on my behalf.
“Caisang, that wasn’t what they said in their letters.
“Eldest Brother said Sister-in-law truly wanted to meet you. She praised your talent, and that was why I… why I wanted to bring you here to meet them.”
Beyond the eaves, the rain fell like scattered pearls. From the Boshan incense burner, the fragrance of pepper and cassia curled upward in thin wisps.
Shao Zhi rested his head on my lap and, as the wine overcame him, sank into a heavy sleep.
Looking at his sleeping face, I begged the gods of this world to turn a blind eye and have mercy on this one selfish wish of mine.
Then, suddenly, from beneath the corridor came the crisp clatter of arms and armor, like a general walking through the night in mail and sword.
The door was pulled open without warning. The wind made the flames of the nine-branched lamp tremble, and the damp heat of the rain swept in together with memories, leaving me nowhere to hide.
Behind me came a voice so familiar it made my heart seize. He laughed and said, “Ah Zhi! You little brat, is this where you’ve been hiding from the wine?”
I turned back in shock and saw, beyond the thin silk screen, Shao Zheng’s figure half-hidden amid the painted mountains, rivers, and drifting clouds.
When he saw me turn my head, Shao Zheng froze. He even hesitated and took half a step back.
“…Sister-in-law?”
Fortunately, there was a landscape screen between us, and neither of us could see the other’s face clearly.
Shao Zheng did not recognize me, but he stared at my profile in a daze for a long while.
Then, seeing Shao Zhi lying with his head in my lap, Shao Zheng seemed to snap awake and hurriedly apologized.
“I didn’t know you were here as well. That was discourteous of me.
“Tomorrow, I’ll host a banquet and properly apologize to you and Ah Zhi.”
Shao Zheng turned to leave, only for the maid bringing the sobering soup to say with a smile, “Madam has asked the general to come over. She says she has selected a few pretty young women of clean background for Fifth Young Master Shao to take back to Jiangdong, and wants the general to help look them over.”
Shao Zheng glanced at me and said angrily, “Ignorant woman! Ah Zhi would never accept them!”
Perhaps it was the bond between brothers. Shao Zheng knew this younger brother’s stubborn temper inside and out, and Ah Zhi was somewhat like him.
Ah Zhi, too, had once been like Shao Zheng back then, insisting on marrying me as his wife.
The Shao Clan had refused as well, saying I could only be made a concubine.
Before Shao Zhi left for Luoyang, he told me that no matter what happened, he would return within nine days to marry me.
I waited until the night of the ninth day. I waited until even the moon had set and frost covered the entire courtyard.
But still, no word came.
I think I understood then. This time, the result would be no different either.
I could not remain where I was and let fate make a fool of me twice.
On the tenth day, without leaving even a letter for Shao Zhi, I packed my belongings and headed south.
In that vast world of wind and snow, with not a soul on the endless roads, someone called my name from behind me in desperate urgency.
It was Shao Zhi.
He had been locked in a dungeon and kept under house arrest for three days. To escape and come find me, he had broken one of his legs, which was why he had been delayed.
When he saw me lift the carriage curtain and look at him, Shao Zhi raised his frost-stiff face. Like a general who had won a battle, he was filled with pride.
“Caisang! Caisang!
“I’ve come back to marry you as my wife! I kept my word!”
On the day of our wedding, Shao Zhi said it was an elder brother of his clan who had stepped forward on our behalf.
That elder brother was far more skilled than he in riding, archery, and military command. Yet even such an outstanding elder brother had once been hindered by the pressure of the clan and failed to marry the woman he loved.
At the time, I did not know that the elder brother who had mediated for us was Shao Zheng.
When we bowed to the moon, I had even sincerely wished that Eldest Brother would soon have his own wish fulfilled and be able to stay by the side of the woman he loved.
Late that night, the sobering soup had already gone cold.
I wanted to ask a maid to bring a fresh, hot bowl, only to find there was no one at my side.
Most likely, Guan Wan had assigned them away to wait on the young women newly brought into the residence.
The kitchen was close, only two corridors away.
Outside, the rain had stopped. A bright, clear full moon hung in the sky, its radiance reflected brilliantly in the pond.
Carrying a lantern, I followed the sound of the water and faintly heard weeping and arguing from the neighboring courtyard, mingled with the sound of jade vessels and cups shattering on the ground.
I hid beneath the corridor and looked over, just in time to see Shao Zheng’s furious figure.
He caught sight of the lantern I hastily put out. Even drunk, he still retained a trace of vigilance.
“Who is hiding there?”
I did not dare speak. I only waited carefully until there was no more movement outside before cautiously leaning out.
Suddenly, a hand shot out from behind me and clamped around my throat. With just a little more force, it would have snapped my windpipe.
“Acting so suspiciously-are you an assassin?”
When he realized I had no dagger and was only holding a lantern, Shao Zheng released me.
I knelt on the ground, coughing with all my strength. Shao Zheng leaned against the corridor pillar, his sword at my throat as he looked down at me from above:
“Talk. Who sent you?
“Was it the Guan clan, or those Jiangdong rebels?
“Raise your head when you answer me!”
…
His sword suddenly clattered to the ground.
Clear moonlight fell over Shao Zheng’s face, illuminating his stunned expression.
“…Qingque?”
I did not want to hear that name.
Nor did I want to look at the wild, bitter joy in his eyes, as though he had lost something and found it again.
“Is it you? Did you come to Luoyang to find me?
“…Why won’t you answer me?
“…Or is this another dream?
“You don’t know this, but ever since we parted by the Luo River, I have dreamed of you so often.
“In my dreams, you are always like this, holding that ladle of Luo River water, watching me so quietly, refusing to say a single word to me.”
Drifting clouds covered the moon. He was terribly drunk and could not see clearly. In his panic, he reached for my sleeve, desperate to confirm whether the person before him was only a dream.
I shoved him away with all my strength.
Shao Zheng had been drinking, and he had not been on guard. Dazed, he was sent stumbling straight into the pond.
A maidservant heard the commotion by the water and hurried over from a distance.
I quickly picked up the lantern by my feet and fled.
The maidservant, terrified, went to help Shao Zheng, but he shoved her aside.
“When you came over, did you see anyone?”
The maidservant was on night watch in the garden. Afraid Shao Zheng would blame her, she lowered her head.
“This servant just made a round of the garden with a lantern and saw no one.
“General, you have been drinking. Please take care not to catch cold in the spring chill.”
Shao Zheng rubbed his brow, unwilling to believe it had only been a dream.
“Who lives near this garden?”
“Fifth Young Master Shao and his wife.”
“Who else? Has any new musician been brought into the residence?”
“There are no new musicians, but Madam purchased a few young women and said they were to be given to the Fifth Young Master as concubines.”
“Is there one among them who is skilled at playing the konghou?”
The maidservant thought carefully, and then something seemed to click.
“There is one, but Madam dislikes her greatly. This afternoon, she was punished…”
Shao Zheng’s brow twitched. A bad premonition suddenly rose in him.
“Punished how?”
The maidservant trembled as she knelt on the ground.
“At noon, Madam held a banquet. The girl played poorly and embarrassed Madam in front of the Fifth Young Master. In the afternoon… in the afternoon, Madam had her sent to a brothel.”
Shao Zheng’s heart abruptly stopped, and he suddenly remembered the cruel oath he had once forced Qingque to swear.
From now on, each of us shall marry as we please, and neither shall disturb the other. If I go to Luoyang to pester Shao Zheng, then for the rest of my life I shall be a prostitute ridden by thousands and slept with by tens of thousands, my bones ground to dust, my ashes scattered, and I shall die a miserable death.
In the three years since they parted by the Luo River, there were many things Shao Zheng regretted.
He regretted making her drink that contraceptive decoction, bitter as it had been. Otherwise, they might have had a child.
He regretted falling for Guan Wan, taking Qingque’s heart too lightly, and making her swear such a vicious oath.
The more he regretted, the more he dreamed.
He dreamed of that bowl of contraceptive decoction, so bitter that her brows had drawn together slightly.
He dreamed of her holding that ladle of Luo River water, watching him in silence.
He dreamed of a clear day in the third month, when she was just as she had been before, dressed in his favorite pale-blue robe, her long hair loosely pinned up, throwing herself into his arms.
But in his dreams, she neither spoke nor smiled. She would never tilt her head up as she once had, blush, and softly call him husband.
For those three years, the Luo River Oath had lain between them, and there had truly been no word from either side.
So she had not married after all.
So he was still in her heart.
Even if it meant breaking her oath. Even if the thing she feared most was used to threaten her.
Even though she had been so frightened when she swore it, she had still returned to Luoyang to find him.
Losing after gaining, gaining after losing-it was like a blade wrapped in honey twisting through his heart, bringing with it a sweet, piercing ache.
Shao Zheng understood now. No matter what had happened, he would not blame her. He would still take her.
As for the men who had touched her, he would blindfold her, guide her hand around the knife, and kill them one by one to vent his hatred.
After all, she had become a slave at seven and had followed him at fourteen. Other than playing the konghou, she knew nothing. How could she have protected herself in these chaotic times?
Even if the Luo River Oath truly was that effective, he was here now.
From now on, with him, Shao Zheng, backing her and standing as her shelter, there would be nothing in this world she needed to fear.
“Prepare a horse! No one is to follow me!
“If anyone dares breathe a word of what happened tonight, you had better watch your heads!”
A full moon hung quietly in the sky, shedding a layer of cold, pale frost over the earth.
The moon that lit his way now had once shone upon Qingque’s tear-filled eyes when she saw him off.
After the rain, the night had cleared. In every puddle lay a small, round moon, and each one was shattered beneath the pounding hooves of his galloping horse.
In Shao Zheng’s memory, when he was young, a heavenly dog had once devoured the moon in his hometown. People had beaten gongs and drums, all vying to drive the heavenly dog away.
But Shao Zheng had always scoffed at it.
In his memory, the moon had always been round. It had never broken.
Just as after his horse’s hooves passed over them, the puddles still held a perfectly beautiful moon.
The moon would always become whole again. Wounds would always heal.
Just as his little sparrow would always return to his side.