Chapter 217

Chapter 217

“Wu boy, your master’s cultivation is too high. It’s already beyond the limit of what I can sense. So all I can tell is that she’s strong–extremely strong! But exactly how much stronger she is than that coffin bearer you mentioned… even your big brother can’t say.”

After speaking, it spread its wings in an imitation of a human shrug.

Never in my wildest dreams had I imagined that the hateful big fat bird Roundy could be so shameless.

“You damned fat bird! You tricked me just to take advantage of me, didn’t you? I’ve always assumed the worst possible shamelessness from you, but I never thought–never imagined–you could sink this low. I’ll knead you to death!”

By then, we had reached the entrance of the coffin shop.

I put down the sausage and cured pork I was carrying, yanked Roundy off my shoulder, and hugged it in my arms.

Then I kneaded it furiously!

The shameless fat bird cooed incessantly under my hands.

“Let go of me, Wu boy! How did your big brother take advantage of you?”

“I asked how powerful Master was and how big the gap was between her and Old Cao. You fed me a load of crap and even made me call you Big Brother!”

“Stop kneading, Wu boy! You’ve squeezed my belly swollen. You can’t really blame me. That terrifying wicked woman… no, wait, your master concealed her own strength. I can sense that she’s powerful, but the impression is extremely vague.”

“What do you mean?”

I temporarily stopped kneading the damned fat bird.

It hurriedly answered,

“It’s like an iceberg floating in the sea. The part above the surface is already spectacular, and you can vaguely sense a huge mass beneath the water. But exactly how much lies below is impossible to tell. And she seems to be suppressing her cultivation constantly.”

Huh?

I frowned slightly.

Master… had been suppressing her cultivation all along?

Was there some secret behind it?

But then I sighed and thought dejectedly,

“Honestly, even though she’s my master… I don’t seem to know anything about her. I don’t even know Master’s real name or age, much less her other secrets.”

Seeing me lost in thought, Roundy gave a sly laugh.

“Well, Wu boy? Calling me Big Brother wasn’t a bad bargain, was it?”

The matter had already passed, yet the fatty brought it up again itself.

“Big Brother my ass!”

My hands, which had stopped kneading it, started moving again.

Just then, Old Cao emerged from the back room and looked up to find me standing in the shop entrance…

He was instantly surprised.

“Xiao Wu, why’d you bring a live fat hen back with you this week? Carrying it all that way on foot and by bus must’ve been a nuisance. If you wanted chicken, you could’ve bought one at the market. Or gone to the restaurant at the end of the street and brought back a pot of chicken braised with pork intestines.”

Me: “…”

Roundy: “…”

Then the damned fat bird flew into a rage!

With two furious coos, it shot out of my arms and rammed Old Cao like a white, furry cannonball, striking him squarely in the chest.

“Oof!”

Caught off guard, Old Cao staggered back several steps.

An indignant voice sounded in both our minds.

“You coffin-hauling old man have no idea what’s good for you! How dare you call this lord a fat hen? I’m furious! Open your failing old eyes and look carefully. This lord is the king of ten thousand eagles who soars through the heavens, the handsome and dashing Jade-Talon Gyrfalcon!”

As the damned fat bird babbled, it flapped down onto a coffin lid.

It thrust out its fat belly and raised its head arrogantly.

Even the well-traveled and knowledgeable Old Cao stared dumbfounded!

Only after a long while did he barely recover. He looked at me with an odd expression.

“Th-this is…”

“Old Cao, this is the Jade-Talon Gyrfalcon household familiar I told you about.”

So that was it!

Old Cao looked at the big fat bird standing belly-out on the coffin lid, unsure whether to laugh or cry.

I had previously told him what happened when Master performed the art of summoning a household familiar for me…

The invited spirit should have been a Snake Immortal–that is, a snake–but Roundy had intercepted it halfway and eaten the Snake Immortal as food!

As a result, it naturally inherited the devoured Snake Immortal’s contract and became my household familiar.

Who knew what went on in that big fat bird’s mind?

You might say it shamelessly wanted to become my household familiar, yet its attitude was atrocious. In any case, we bickered, argued, and scuffled every day.

Just now, it had even taken advantage of me. The very thought made my blood boil!

Of course, I had to admit that Roundy was quite powerful.

Through household-spirit empowerment, it could raise my combat strength dramatically!

It was still a gyrfalcon, a “bird of prey,” after all, even if it was a little fat and a little obnoxious…

With his hands clasped behind his back, Old Cao slowly approached Roundy and said with a smile,

“My apologies, household familiar. I didn’t see clearly just now and mistook you for a fat hen. I’m truly very sorry.”

Hmph!

Roundy lowered its head. Its bright, shifty eyes rolled as it looked at Old Cao.

“Old man, if you’re sincerely apologizing, you’ll have to compensate this lord!”

“What compensation do you want?”

“This lord is hungry. This lord wants fish. Hurry and cook fish for me!”

As the damned fat bird clamored, it patted its round belly with both wings like human hands, making a series of smacking sounds.

Its pointed beak opened and closed as it smacked its lips and swallowed.

Old Cao froze again.

I gave a helpless, bitter smile.

Even with his broad experience and knowledge, he had probably never seen such an obnoxious demon before.

Yes, that was right… fundamentally, a household familiar was also a kind of demon, merely a benevolent one that had formed a contract with a human practitioner.

But the fatty Roundy hardly seemed benevolent!

Old Cao nodded.

“All right, no problem! I’ll buy fresh fish from the market and have it cooked for dinner. How does that sound, Little Brother Roundy?”
As he spoke, he pointed to Wang Hu standing nearby.

“This is Wang Hu, an employee at our coffin shop. His cooking is superb! I guarantee you’ll be satisfied.”

Wang Hu hurriedly smiled and greeted Roundy.

He could probably sense that this arrogant-looking bird-demon household familiar possessed much greater cultivation than he did!

Only after Roundy’s commotion ended did I remember the things I had left at the entrance.

I hurriedly turned and brought them inside.

“Oh, right, Old Cao. My mother asked me to bring you this sausage and cured pork. She made them herself. The meat is incredibly fragrant, nothing like the kind you buy outside.”

“I’m taking one slab of cured pork to a classmate’s house for hot pot. The rest can stay here at the coffin shop. From now on, when we have a late-night meal, we can slice up some cured pork or sausage, stir-fry it with garlic shoots, then cook some noodles. Delicious!”

I nearly began drooling as I spoke.

The cured pork was awkward to carry, so I took some textbooks, homework, and other things I would not need during evening self-study out of my book bag.

I put the cured pork inside, shouldered the bag, and prepared to go to Wang Dachun’s house.

Just as I was about to leave, Roundy fluttered over and landed on my shoulder.

“Wu boy, are you abandoning your big brother?”

“What nonsense are you spouting, damned fat bird? Old Cao’s coffin shop is where I stay in Lianghe Town. I just promised to eat hot pot at a classmate’s house tonight. Stay here and chat with Old Cao and Uncle Hu, or fly out and amuse yourself.”

Roundy’s shifty eyes instantly lit up.

“What’s hot pot? Is it human food? Is it tasty? I want to go with you!”

Uh…

Exasperated, I asked whether it had not just demanded a fish from Old Cao as compensation.

Roundy said it would eat hot pot first and have the fish as a late-night snack!

The damned fat bird even turned toward Old Cao and waved a wing.

“Old Cao, this lord is going to eat hot pot with Wu boy. Don’t forget the fish you promised me. I’ll have it as a late-night snack when I return!”

“All right. Off you go.”

Old Cao continued smiling.

I smacked the fellow on the head.

“Show some respect! And are you supposed to be Big Brother or this lord?”

Roundy covered its fluffy head with a wing and glared at me.

“In front of you, Wu boy, I’m your big brother. In front of everyone else, I’m their lord! What, you have a problem with that? Hit me if you do! Go on, hit me…”

Smack, smack, smack!

I immediately struck its head three times, then folded my arms and sneered.

“I’ve never heard such a perverse request.”

Roundy: “…”

“You bastard, Wu boy!”

…

With Roundy accompanying me, I strolled leisurely toward Wang Dachun’s house.

The coffin shop was in the east of town, while his house was in the south. The walk took about half an hour.

People cast curious looks at me all along the way.

Some even whispered, pointed, and gestured.

Anyone with such a large bird perched on their shoulder would attract attention.

I remained perfectly composed and did not care about being watched.

Roundy, however, grew excited and kept chattering in my ear.

“Hey, look, Wu boy! See how popular your big brother is? Humans adore me.”

“Oh! Look at that beauty. She smiled at me.”

“What’s that string of red things in that child’s hand? It looks delicious. I really want to snatch it!”

Fortunately, the damned fat bird retained some sense and did nothing outrageous in broad daylight under everyone’s eyes.

It merely stood on my shoulder, looking everywhere and constantly nagging me through our mental connection.

I could have cried from sheer exasperation.

Never had I imagined my household familiar would be such a silly fatty!

It had not seemed this outrageous when we met in dreams before, had it?

At around four in the afternoon, I arrived outside Wang Dachun’s house.

With no adults at home, the teenagers were bound to be having a wild time.

Yao Nan and Zeng Jin had probably arrived early, since both of them lived in Lianghe Town.

Even through the thick security door, I could faintly hear an English song inside. Needless to say, it was by Wang Dachun’s favorite singer, Michael Jackson.

Ding-dong, ding-dong.

I rang the doorbell.

“Coming!”

Wang Dachun’s voice came from inside, followed by rapidly approaching footsteps.

“Behave yourself when we go in! They know about my circumstances and what I do, but they’re still ordinary people. Don’t start causing trouble the moment you enter, and don’t act overly familiar.”

I took the opportunity to warn Roundy.

The damned fat bird looked askance at me, wearing a sour, displeased expression.

“What do you mean, Wu boy? Are you saying your big brother doesn’t know how to behave? Let me tell you, back in the Northeast, folks adored me more than anyone, don’t you know?”

Good grief! It even showed off a few phrases in the northeastern dialect.

“Anyway, your big brother will introduce you later. Don’t take matters into your own hands.”

“I’m the big brother!”

“I’m the big brother!”

The two of us began scuffling outside the door. I easily subdued the stupid bird–twisting its wings behind its back, holding them in one hand, and cradling it against my chest.

At that moment,

Creak.

The security door opened, and Wang Dachun stuck his head out.

At a glance, he saw me holding Roundy by the wings while it struggled madly and cooed without pause.

He froze, then smiled.

Delighted, he said,

“Oh, Boss, you’re far too polite! You didn’t have to bring a fat free-range chicken with you. Are we supposed to slice it up for the hot pot? Country-raised chicken does taste better than the stuff from the market, but none of us knows how to slaughter a live chicken. And this one’s so fat and huge. It’ll be hard to handle.”

Wang Dachun looked at Roundy in my grasp and rubbed his hands. His expression seemed both delighted and troubled.

Me: “…”

Roundy: “…”