Chapter 29

Chapter 29

Yao Nan was frightened too.

She probably had not expected Wang Dachun to truly dare hit someone.

I remained calm.

I had seen a corpse fiend, fought a weasel spirit, and attended a ghost feast… Why would I fear one spoiled brat?

Besides, Master regularly taught me martial arts.

I had trained for only two months, but I doubted I would lose a fight.

As I considered how to drop this idiot as quickly as possible, a shout came from the classroom door.

“Wang Dachun, what do you think you’re doing?”

The classroom fell silent.

Wang Dachun’s raised fist froze in midair.

I turned and saw Chen Xue, the teacher who had taken me to register that morning, stride in with several textbooks under one arm. He glared furiously at Wang Dachun.

“Student Wang, I shouldn’t have disobeyed you and sat wherever I wanted. I’ll move right away. Please don’t hit me.”

I summoned all my acting talent, sat down, and spoke timidly while pretending to be afraid.

Yao Nan stared at me in disbelief!

Wang Dachun was dumbfounded too.

Mr. Chen exploded. He grabbed Wang Dachun by the wrist, dragged him into the aisle, and scolded him so fiercely that spittle nearly struck the boy’s face.

“Listen carefully, Wang Dachun. Just because your parents have some status in town doesn’t mean you can throw your weight around at school. Our district school is the best middle school near Lianghe Town. It exists to nurture talent, not give you somewhere to fight. You even dare decide where your classmates sit? Why don’t you take over as homeroom teacher for me?”

“Mr. Chen, I didn’t–”

“Get out! Stand by the classroom door.”

Too frightened to argue, Wang Dachun obediently went to stand outside.

Chen Xue turned to me, his expression softening. “Wu Zhong, you really did end up in my class. I’ve seen your entrance scores–you ranked first at your township elementary school. Study hard in middle school too, and don’t let bad students influence you. If anyone bullies you, tell me. I won’t let them off lightly.”

I nodded like the most obedient child alive and thanked Mr. Chen.

He smiled and said he liked good students best. Since Yao Nan and I were deskmates, we should help each other and improve together.

Then Mr. Chen returned to the podium and began our first class meeting…

Yao Nan frowned. “Why did you lie, Student Wu?”

I spread my hands. “How did I lie? Wang Dachun really wouldn’t let me sit here. And I really was scared.”

“Hmph! Scheming. Now I don’t think you’re a good person either. I’m not talking to you anymore.”

She pouted, turned away, and ignored me.

I could not be bothered with her either.

Others might consider Yao Nan beautiful–perhaps even the prettiest girl in class–and humor or coax her because of it.

But could any girl compare with Master?

Master was so beautiful that no other woman in the world could rival her. She had raised my standards beyond measure.

Once one had seen great rivers, why care about a little stream?

The class meeting was boring. I secretly took out my mathematics textbook to study ahead while watching Wang Dachun glare viciously at me from the doorway out of the corner of my eye.

“Looks like that spoiled brat hasn’t learned his lesson. Of course not. People like him never stop until the pain gets through to them. In that case…”

An idea came to me, and I smiled.

After more than two months of grueling practice under Master, I could already make several basic implements of the talisman arts.

They were only petty tricks, but more than enough to punish a bully.

There were no lessons that afternoon. The subject teachers merely introduced themselves and explained middle-school life and their teaching plans.

School ended at six.

Everyone gradually headed to the cafeteria for dinner.

Starting in middle school, we had mandatory evening study.

After classes ended at six, we had ninety minutes for dinner and rest, followed by evening study from seven thirty to nine thirty.

Compared with elementary school, it was brutal.

Once everyone had gone to dinner and the classroom was temporarily empty, I cautiously took a sheet of talisman paper from my schoolbag. I poured some cinnabar into my ink tray, dipped my brush, and began drawing.

I drew the simplest, most elementary talisman. Its effect was equally simple: it made a person fart without stopping!

It was so crude and its effect so bizarre that it had no formal name. Master said people generally called it the Fart Talisman–a straightforward name that said everything.
Even this lowest-grade talisman took me two minutes to complete, and sweat beaded on my forehead.

I took out a lighter and set one corner of the Fart Talisman alight.

Quickly, I unscrewed Wang Dachun’s thermos on the desk behind me and flicked my wrist above its mouth.

Whoosh!

The talisman paper flared instantly, becoming fine black ash that drifted into the water and dissolved without a trace.

I screwed the lid back on and returned the thermos to its original place.

Then I took a bread roll from my bag and ate while studying my other subjects…

“I have to rank first in every exam. What pressure! I don’t even have time for dinner.”

I sighed.

…

After seven, students gradually returned to the classroom.

Wang Dachun came in surrounded by several followers and sat behind me.

Smack!

He slapped my back hard and sneered. “Brat, you’ve really made me angry. If you’ve got any guts, meet me on the roof after evening study.”

I looked at him. “Are you sure? Whoever doesn’t show is a dog!”

Wang Dachun froze, apparently not expecting such a bold answer. Then he shouted, “Fine! The roof after evening study. Whoever doesn’t show is a dog.”

Many students had already returned. They looked our way and whispered among themselves.

“Hmph. You’ll regret it!”

Wang Dachun picked up his thermos, unscrewed it, and gulped down several mouthfuls. Shaking his head smugly, he said, “Ah, refreshing. Good water from an expensive thermos. A bumpkin like you has never seen one, has he?”

…

Evening study generally did not involve lessons. We reviewed, studied ahead, or worked on exercises while the homeroom teacher supervised from the podium.

The classroom was therefore extremely quiet, filled only with the rustle of turning pages and scratching pens.

“Why hasn’t it started? Did I draw the talisman incorrectly, or make a mistake somewhere in the process?”

I frowned and chewed my pen.

That was entirely possible. After all, this was the first time I had truly used a talisman against someone.

“Oh well. Worst case, I’ll fight him on the roof tonight.”

Just then–

Pfft! Pffft-pfft-pfft!

A string of muffled explosions erupted behind me.

Wang Dachun’s deskmate immediately cried out, “Brother Chun! Your farts stink! I can’t take it.”

He jumped up and retreated.

The evening-study classroom had been quiet enough to hear a pin drop. Wang Dachun’s thunderous flatulence was already earthshaking.

Combined with his follower’s spontaneous cry, it sent the entire class into roaring laughter. Many students laughed until they cried.

Yao Nan covered her nose in disgust. I did the same–the smell truly was awful!

When learning to draw the Fart Talisman, I had not known it came with this additional effect.

Wang Dachun’s face turned crimson with humiliation.

“Quiet!”

Mr. Chen shouted from the podium. “It’s a normal bodily function. What’s so funny?”

Although he disliked spoiled bullies such as Wang Dachun, he still had to preserve a student’s dignity.

But he added, “And you, Wang Dachun–couldn’t you hold it? I’ve never heard anyone fart that loudly. Pay attention and control yourself.”

“I… I…”

Unable to explain, Wang Dachun sat down sheepishly.

I knew perfectly well that someone who drank talisman water made with the Fart Talisman could neither sense nor control the effect!

Ordinary flatulence involved the sphincter, so a person felt it coming and could exert some control. The Fart Talisman allowed neither!

The instant Wang Dachun sat down, another barrage exploded.

Pfft-pfft-pfft! Pfft-pfft!

Even louder than before!

Wang Dachun’s face turned green.

“Hahahaha!”

The class erupted again, and even the homeroom teacher could not stop them.

Amid the laughter, Wang Dachun clutched his backside with both hands, but crisp, resounding farts continued to burst out. He could not suppress them at all.

I laughed with everyone else. Surrounded by the entire class’s laughter, no one could tell that mine carried a deeper satisfaction.

Wang Dachun looked ready to cry. “Sir, I-I might have eaten something bad. Can I go to the infirmary?”

“All right. I’ll take you.”

As homeroom teacher, Chen Xue still worried that something might be wrong. Fighting the stench, he prepared to walk over.

At that very moment, Wang Dachun’s expression changed sharply, his eyes filling with boundless terror!