Chapter 2
I was about to pull Bashful Boy inside when two men swaggered up as though they owned the street and had disowned every relative they possessed.
One wore a suit with enormous pink shorts… SpongeBob ones this time…
The other was dressed as a Calabash Brother.
Together they looked like Zhang Fei dragging Li Kui across an open field.
I rolled my eyes. Of course Lili chose that moment to ask:
“Are these two friends of yours? Are they applying, too?”
I wanted to cover my face and deny knowing them, but Li Yu had already rushed over and hoisted me into the air.
“Baby, cuddles! Up you go, baby!”
I… Put me down!
I could not afford this level of humiliation.
Invincible Darling, on the other hand, stood perfectly still and behaved himself.
Lili looked at them.
“Are you here to apply as well?”
Li Yu pointed at me.
“Whatever baby’s doing, I’m doing!”
I… All I could do was grit my teeth.
“Yes. Though you don’t actually have to take those two. The two of us could…”
Before I could finish, Bashful Boy objected.
“I’m not staying with you, you stinking gay guy. I want to stay with Gourd Bro!”
When I turned, Invincible Darling was already behind me, flexing his hands and preparing to murder me.
I took a step back. He gasped.
“Demon! You’ve grown stronger again. I’m Sixth Brother. I’m invisible, and you can still see me!”
I hurried behind Li Yu and turned to Lili.
“As you can see, these two aren’t quite right. Maybe… I should come back another day…”
Lili was something else.
“I think they’re rather interesting. Come in together.”
We followed her inside. The whole way, a fight raged behind me.
Invincible Darling wanted to kill me. Li Yu was doing everything he could to protect me.
Those two usually got along perfectly well. The moment I appeared, it became a fight to the death.
We’d walked barely fifty meters when we reached a room. Lili stared.
“Did you swap people?”
I looked back. One had so many lumps on his head that he was basically cosplaying a durian.
The other’s face had swollen into a pig’s head. Neither was fit to be seen.
You had to hand it to nightclub owners. They had class.
Lili smiled.
“No problem. Both young men have excellent physiques. They’re hired.”
My jaw nearly hit the floor. Hired?
Seriously, had these rich ladies never had anything decent…?
When we went to find Bashful Boy, he had somehow climbed onto the chandelier.
He was muttering:
“I’m Gourd Bro’s little butterfly. I want to fly. Flutter, flutter, fly!”
Great. There was nothing much wrong with him when he was on his own. The instant Invincible Darling appeared, he had an acute attack of whatever this was.
Lili was still smiling.
“This one’s fine, too. Very lively. We can call it a talent show.”
“A cute little pretty boy. People like that, especially the melancholy look. Very popular.”
I… Fine. I didn’t understand, but I respected it…
I was just opening my mouth when Lili turned to me with an apologetic expression.
My heart sank.
Sure enough, she said:
“I’m sorry, sir in the suit, but you’re much too formal. I don’t think you can give our customers the emotional experience they’re looking for.”
“If you really want to stay with your friends, I’d suggest working as a waiter.”
For fuck’s sake…
My face darkened. I had one question: was this a nightclub or a circus?
They’d accepted every bird and beast and rejected the one human being?
Was that reasonable?
Sometimes looking too much like a person wasn’t a good thing…
All I could do was force out:
“No problem. I’ll take it.”
Then I saw the pay sheet and ground my teeth.
Those three idiots got a base salary of twelve thousand, commissions on drinks, and all their own tips.
Me… Three thousand. Fifty deducted for a broken glass, a hundred for a damaged mop, and any drinks I broke came out of my own pocket…
If this was how humans behaved, I’d eat one!
I could only accept through my tears. After all, I’d never seen that many zeros on a compensation bill, even in Chengdu.
Before I could finish complaining, Lili clapped her hands.
“All right, everyone. Time to work. We’re opening!”