Chapter 1

The company had put me in charge of its most difficult artist: a possessive little pretty boy known as Bashful Boy.

Then, during a performance, the one-of-a-kind jewelry was stolen.

Bashful Boy patted my shoulder, completely unconcerned.

“I’ve got money, bro. We’ll just pay for another one!”

I had no choice but to grit my teeth and ask the manager what it cost.

When I sent Bashful Boy the string of zeros in two hundred million, he scratched his head.

“Fuck, I’ve never seen that many zeros even in Chengdu!”

I…

He turned to me.

“Look, say you’re one zero and I’m another zero. If we hand ourselves over, can we knock two zeros off?”

For fuck’s sake…

I pinched the spot under my nose, on the verge of passing out.

Was that something a human being would say?

I couldn’t even be bothered arguing. The kid’s brain wasn’t wired right.

All I could do was hide it from the manager and say we needed the piece for some upcoming engagements, buying us three days.

I rubbed my aching head. There were security cameras at the venue. Surely the footage would give us a clue.

But watching it left me utterly bewildered. This thief knew exactly what she was doing.

All the video showed was a woman’s hand with a butterfly tattoo and a diamond ring the size of a pigeon’s egg.

There was also a glimpse of the hem of a red dress. Nothing else stood out.

I scratched my head and studied the angle. She must have sneaked in through the back door.

She had to know how to pick locks, too. Otherwise she couldn’t have opened it.

I took Bashful Boy back to where the jewelry had disappeared.

We soon found another clue. Hardly anyone went near the back door, but there was a woman’s cigarette and a dropped match.

The match was one of those nightclubs had made for their customers. It said WEALTHY LADIES NIGHTCLUB.

I thought about it. That club might be our way in.

Maybe we could investigate inside.

I turned around and caught Bashful Boy trying to escape.

I grabbed the hood of his sweatshirt.

“You’re coming, too!”

Bashful Boy blinked his big eyes at me.

“I’m not going. I’m Gourd Bro’s little butterfly. How could I go to a place like that?”

“I’m a good boy. I’m telling Gourd Bro you tried to take me somewhere like that!”

I ground my teeth.

“You’re going whether you like it or not. Or you can pay that string of zeros yourself!”

Bashful Boy clapped his hands over his pockets.

“No way. That’s my dowry. For Gourd Bro.”

His face crumpled.

“Fine, fine. I’ll go!”

I took him to Wealthy Ladies Nightclub. We’d barely arrived when the guards threw us out.

One of them looked down at us.

“We don’t admit men. Get lost.”

We landed on our asses. Bashful Boy immediately planted his hands on his hips in outrage.

“You threw me? Just wait till I call my people!”

I couldn’t stop him. He ran off, already on the phone.

“Gourd Bro, someone’s picking on your little butterfly. Are you going to do something?”

“If you don’t, I’m sneaking into your psychiatric hospital tonight and crawling under your blankets!”

I clutched my head. We were screwed.

I’d once joked that I was the Scorpion Demon, and that invincible darling who thought he was a Calabash Brother had spent ages trying to kill me.

I’d finally had a few peaceful days. And now this.

All I wanted to say to Bashful Boy was:

“What are you doooing?”

Invincible Darling’s alarmed voice came through the phone.

“I’ll be right there. Who’s bullying you? If one punch doesn’t kill them, I’ll count it as a bomb!”

As darkness closed in on my vision, another voice came down the line.

“Did they throw my baby out, too?”

“Wait for me. If one punch doesn’t kill them, I’ll count it as a bomb… except Invincible Darling!”

My vision went darker still. Great. The other one was coming, too.

This one was even scarier. Invincible Darling used a knife to stab me.

This guy… didn’t need a knife.

I pressed a hand over my heart and stood there for a long moment.

What was there left to say? I gritted my teeth and marched Bashful Boy straight back to the entrance.

I pointed at the guards.

“You’re finished!”

“When my people get here… You know that heads-in-a-bin couple meme?”

“We’ll stuff you both in that drain. You can be the drain couple!”

“We’ll fold you up. Triple-fold you. Looking good from every angle!”

The guards glanced at us and drew their rubber batons.

“Borrowing someone else’s muscle to act tough? Looks like you need a lesson!”

I rolled my eyes.

“I’m not a dog borrowing a man’s power. I’m Dongdong borrowing Li Yu’s power!”

Then I turned and ran. I wasn’t stupid. Those two obviously knew how to fight. They’d fold me up first.

Just as I was about to flee, a beautiful woman in a black dress came over.

“Don’t be rude. Gentlemen, we don’t accept male customers, but if you’re here to apply for work, you can come with me.”

“You can call me Lili.”

My eyes darted sideways.

“That’s right, Lili. I’m applying. I want to be a male host!”