Chapter 34

Chapter 34

I had been drugged with a sedative and lost consciousness.

When I woke again, I found myself floating in mid-air.

Before my eyes was a vast, grey expanse of chaos. There was no sun or moon to be seen, only an endless void.

I was dead now, nothing more than a lonely soul.

I didn’t know if I had died from blood loss, or if I had been poisoned. Or perhaps, like the previous times, I had been burned to death?

It didn’t matter.

Regardless, I was dead.

I hated those who harmed me. I had never provoked them, so why did they want to hurt me, to kill me?

I hated Meng Huaiqing. He could have remained a bystander, or even an accomplice, but instead, he helped me only to betray me. He gave me hope, then personally crushed me under his heel.

I also hated my mother. If she hadn’t given birth to me back then, perhaps I wouldn’t have been killed over and over again. She had found her own release at the end of a rope, leaving me behind to suffer this torment.

I don’t want to be reborn again.

I accept my fate.

I am afraid of them.

…

I wailed at the top of my lungs, venting the hatred in my heart.

As it turned out, the crying of a ghost really was unpleasant and eerie.

After crying for a long time, I grew tired. I drifted beneath a withered tree and leaned against it to sleep.

Just as I was drifting in and out of sleep, I was jolted awake by the sound of voices.

At first, I didn’t pay it any mind and tried to keep sleeping, until I suddenly heard them mention my name.

I snapped awake and peered out from behind the tree.

Ahead, shrouded in mist, was a fork in the road. One path was pitch black, its depths unfathomable, while the other shimmered with faint glimmers of light.

At the junction sat two men, one in black and one in white. Both wore official robes and were playing a game of Go.

The White Ghost Officer asked, “Have you found Ye Qingqiu yet?”

The Black Ghost Officer chuckled. “She drifted off and vanished in a flash.”

The White Ghost Officer pinched his fingers together to calculate. “This should be her final rebirth, shouldn’t it?”

Resting his chin on his hand, the Black Ghost Officer stared at the board in thought and replied casually, “Yes.”

The White Ghost Officer shook his head with a smile. “I expect this time will be just like the others. No matter how much she struggles, she’ll live ten days to a fortnight at most. She’s too weak to win against those people. It would be better to just send her straight to reincarnation.”

The Black Ghost Officer shrugged. “I can’t. I made a promise to her mother.”

My mother?

My breath hitched. What was going on?

The White Ghost Officer untied a wine gourd from his waist, took a few swigs, and handed it to the Black Ghost Officer. “I remember her mother, Wan Mudan, died by her own hand. Such a violent death prevents one from entering the cycle of reincarnation; she is meant to suffer and atone in Avici Hell for all eternity. Why do you think she bothered?”

The Black Ghost Officer sighed. “I suppose it’s my fault. Years ago, I lost my command token and nearly withered away under the sun in the mortal realm. Miss Mudan was kind-hearted; she gave me a bowl of water and helped me sit under the eaves. I spoke out of turn and told her to abandon that ill-fated daughter of hers and return to her parents’ home. She still had decades of life left in her; there was no need for her to suffer in the Ye Family.”

“She was shocked and asked me what I meant.”

“I leaked the secrets of heaven. I told her that while her daughter was born with peerless beauty, that very beauty would bring her nothing but calamity. She wouldn’t live past the age of eighteen.”

“Miss Mudan tried everything to save her daughter. She once tried to have her daughter tonsured as a nun, thinking that if she didn’t have to marry, she could avoid the disaster. But the primary wife of the household seized the opportunity to claim she was mentally unstable and tried to throw her out. Later, she gathered her courage and wrote to her father, begging for protection.”

“It was her brother who replied. He rebuked her for bringing shame to the family and told her that her mother had fallen ill from grief the year she eloped and passed away a few years later. The family had long since announced to the world that she had died of illness. Even if she returned, they would never let her through the door.”

“Miss Mudan was utterly devastated. She knelt at every step, praying to the gods and Buddhas to save her daughter, saying that the sins were hers alone and should not be visited upon her child.”

The Black Ghost Officer rubbed his nose, his voice slightly choked. “I advised her that everyone has their own destiny and to let it go. Miss Mudan was stubborn; she wanted to give her remaining lifespan to her daughter.”

The White Ghost Officer frowned. “How could that be allowed!”

The Black Ghost Officer sighed. “Indeed. But I owed her for that bowl of water. I told her that giving her lifespan directly was impossible, but I could bend the rules to give her daughter a chance to be reborn and change her fate. In exchange, Miss Mudan would lose ten years of her life for each chance.”

“Miss Mudan asked me how many years she had left.”

“I told her she had sixty years. Miss Mudan said her mind was sometimes clear and sometimes muddled; rather than living out her days as a madwoman, she would rather give it all to her daughter. With six chances to start over, she believed her daughter could overcome even the most difficult obstacles.”

At this point, the Black Ghost Officer slammed the wine bottle down. “This time, Little Qiu’er almost escaped, but that Meng Huaiqing ruined everything by interfering. He even had the nerve to drown his sorrows in wine after Little Qiu’er died. I was so angry I gave him a shove from behind, and the brat fell into the river and drowned.”

The White Ghost Officer was so startled he dropped his game piece. “You dared to kill a mortal? Aren’t you afraid of divine retribution! While he’s still a fresh soul, hurry up and send him back.”

The Black Ghost Officer looked sullen.

The White Ghost Officer mocked him, “You don’t need to get so worked up. What’s the use of killing one Meng Huaiqing? Is she a match for Yuan Heng or Cheng Wei? Even a minor female official played her like a fiddle before. What a waste of her mother’s lifespan.”

The Black Ghost Officer slapped the table. “I don’t believe it! Do you dare to make a bet? I bet Little Qingqiu will survive this time!”

The White Ghost Officer replied, “You’re on. And if she dies?”

The Black Ghost Officer said, “I’ll wash your socks for twenty years. But if she lives?”

The White Ghost Officer sneered, “If she lives and manages to secure her position as the Marquess’s Wife, I’ll find a way to let her mother reincarnate so she no longer has to suffer her punishment.”

“It’s a deal,” said the Black Ghost Officer.

…

Hearing this, I found myself drenched in tears without even realizing it.

So, I was never abandoned by my mother.

So, my mother loved me that much.

I want to see her!

I rushed out recklessly, wanting to beg those two Ghost Officers.

Hearing the commotion, they whipped their heads around and barked, “Who’s there!”

The moment our eyes met, the world spun around me, and I lost consciousness.

As if waking from a nightmare, I snapped my eyes open.

Sunlight streamed through the window, slightly piercing.

I couldn’t help but raise my hand to shield my eyes, feeling dazed. Was this the world of the living or the world of the dead?

Just then, the door creaked open.

I turned to look and saw Hongyu entering with a jade bowl in her hands.

She curtsied and said with a smile, “Madam, the Empress Dowager has bestowed this tonic upon you. It is specifically to nourish your body.”