Chapter 3

Yushan fed me a gu.

It was different from the love gu, which had looked like a tiny pink butterfly.

This one was a little flying insect, red all over, with a tail like the petals of a red spider lily.

Yushan called it a Bliss Gu.

Seven days after swallowing it, I would seem to die.

I asked why it couldn’t happen now.

He laughed for quite some time before answering.

“Then everyone would know you died after taking my gu. Would they let me live?”

“I need to stay alive to get you out of your coffin.”

I hadn’t expected that.

Hesitantly, I asked,

“Why are you helping me?”

“Then why did you pretend the love gu had worked when it hadn’t, Your Highness?”

“Because I was afraid His Majesty would punish you,” I said, as though it were obvious. “I didn’t want an innocent person to suffer.”

Yushan nodded and softened his voice.

“By keeping my secret, you saved my life. It’s only right that I repay you.”

“You’re one of the few people in this world whose heart is utterly pure and kind. However powerful a love gu may be, it cannot disturb a heart like yours.”

“So don’t grieve over Xiao Zhaoming.”

His words gave me a fright.

Instinctively, I covered his mouth.

“Have you lost your mind? How can you use His Majesty’s name?”

Yushan’s warm breath brushed my palm. He blinked at me, looking quite innocent.

I snatched my hand away.

“We’re in the palace. You must be careful what you say and do.”

Yushan nodded obediently.

“Very well.”

“Your Highness, I can’t stay long. I must go.”

“For these next seven days, you mustn’t give yourself away.”

“You must pretend you remember nothing and recognize no one. Especially His Majesty.”

I thought he was worrying too much.

“Don’t worry. He’s been avoiding me for a long time.”

“Never mind seven days. He probably wouldn’t remember me even after seventy.”

I hadn’t expected Xiao Zhaoming’s trusted eunuch to rush over with a message so soon after Yushan left.

The emperor wanted to see me.

I panicked at once.

Pretending to remember nothing was difficult.

Especially for someone as earnest and bad at lying as I was.

Fortunately, the Bliss Gu seemed to be taking effect.

My feet felt as though they were treading on cotton. My body grew light and unsteady.

As though I were drunk.

Half supporting and half dragging me, the attendants brought me to Xiao Zhaoming.

Consort Chun stood beside him.

A general’s daughter, she came from an illustrious family. Her father and brothers had helped him win the throne.

She also had a boldly beautiful face.

She did seem more like a favored consort than I did.

My vision swam in and out of focus. Consort Chun came up and waved a curious hand in front of my face.

“Your Highness, what’s wrong?”

Her cloying perfume drifted toward me. My head hurt and my chest tightened.

I couldn’t help covering my chest and retching.

Consort Chun’s expression changed immediately.

“Your Majesty!” She clung to Xiao Zhaoming’s arm and shook it. “The Noble Consort is going too far!”

“I didn’t even hold it against her when she deliberately pushed me into the water at the last palace banquet.”

“Now she dares humiliate me in front of you. Will there be any place left for me in this palace?”

Of course, I had never pushed her into the water.

It was a clumsy lie. Xiao Zhaoming had risen from an unloved prince to where he stood today; naturally, he could see through it.

But he probably didn’t think it mattered.

Consort Chun had fallen into the water just to frame me. She had almost caught a chill.

Her clumsiness was innocence; her fighting for him proved her love.

Whichever way he looked at it, she was adorable and deserving of pity.

Even if I had done nothing, it was only right to confine me to my quarters and withhold my allowance.

When he had been good to me, he had put me first in everything and defended me just as fiercely.

Back then, I thought it was because he loved me.

Only now did I understand. I had simply happened to occupy that place.

Now he had someone more suitable, and I was merely something to step on while he soothed her.

The thought made it even harder to stand. I stumbled back and sank to the floor.

Xiao Zhaoming walked slowly toward me.

He bent down and tilted my face up.

“Cui Jinghe,” he said. “What are you doing?”

Talkative as I was, the sight of his face left me unable to say a single word.

Pain shot through my chin. My silence displeased him.

“I asked you a question.”

“…I don’t know you,” I said, my eyes half closed.

Xiao Zhaoming froze for a moment.

Then he must have realized that I had taken the gu and forgotten everything.

Consort Chun kept exclaiming in wonder, as though she had found an amusing new toy.

“Is that gu master really so remarkable?”

“Your Highness, do you truly remember nothing?”

Then something seemed to occur to her, and she laughed.

“Your Majesty, the Noble Consort doesn’t even remember her own origins. How pitiful.”

“May I tell her?”

Xiao Zhaoming glanced at her, as though reproaching her mischief, but he did not stop her.

Consort Chun said,

“Your Highness, the truth is… you’re a prostitute His Majesty brought back from a common brothel.”

“When he was crown prince, he had a crown princess whom he loved dearly. But she was unfortunate and died young.”

“You look very much like her, so His Majesty brought you into the palace and made you Noble Consort. Don’t let a little favor make you forget your place.”

“Even as Noble Consort, you’re still a prostitute who sold herself. Do you understand?”

The attendants lowered their heads, their faces solemn, as though they had heard nothing.

Xiao Zhaoming glanced at her.

He pinched her cheek.

“Naughty thing.”

Consort Chun suddenly squealed and covered her reddening, slightly swollen cheek.

“Your Majesty, you hurt me.”

I wanted to be sick.

I suddenly remembered a boy who had bullied me when I was little.

He was the son of Father’s superior.

Not wanting to cause Father trouble, I hadn’t fought back.

But when my brother found out, he ran straight out of the house and beat the boy up.

Father was furious. He held me and soothed me for a long time.

He even praised my brother. He could beat the boy all he liked; Father would take responsibility for anything that happened.

Mother comforted me too. If anyone bullied me again, I was to fight back, not put up with it.

Even if Father lost his post, she still had plenty left from her dowry. I would never have to go without new dresses.

I had grown up surrounded by my family’s love.

I hadn’t known the world could contain such sickening words, such sickening people, such sickening things.

It was disgusting. Xiao Zhaoming was disgusting. So was Consort Chun.

I couldn’t help vomiting, staining Consort Chun’s skirt.

Perhaps even Heaven didn’t want me to face anything so vile for another moment. After I was sick, my vision went black and I fainted.