Chapter 4

Ji Yan and I had no contact for the next month.

Not until the day I fell in the dormitory.

A dragging pain seized my lower abdomen. I struggled to crawl to the bed, get my phone, and call 120 for an ambulance.

It was rush hour, and I was afraid the ambulance would get stuck in traffic.

Without hesitation, I called Ji Yan instead.

His company was nearby.

He should have been able to get there faster than an ambulance.

The call connected for a second before he hung up.

[In a meeting. What is it?]

That was the last message I saw before I lost consciousness.

When I woke again, a nurse was standing beside my hospital bed. Regret filled her voice.

“You lost the baby…”

There were two more messages from Ji Yan on my phone.

[Sorry. A project has run into trouble, and I have to make an unexpected business trip to Hong Kong for a week.]

[Rest up, and tell the caregiver if you need anything.]

I stroked my belly, flat once more.

Something no one had wanted from the very beginning

could only come to an end before it had really begun.

I had already considered this possibility before passing out.

Now, it wasn’t much of a surprise.

I just missed the baby a little.

Under my palm, my belly was warm and utterly still.

As if the baby had never been there.

Ji Yan came back from his trip just as I was discharged.

When he came to pick me up, there were dark shadows under his eyes.

He must have been so busy on his trip that he hadn’t rested properly.

On the way home, he said quietly,

“When you called that day, we’d just discovered a problem with the project. It was urgent, so I hung up.”

I nodded. “I understand.”

Silence returned to the car.

Ji Yan hired a housekeeper to look after me.

“Oh, a woman needs careful looking after when she’s had a miscarriage,” she told him.

“Sir, when I’ve gone home, remember not to let your wife eat these things. And…”

The housekeeper gave him a long list of instructions.

Ji Yan listened carefully, occasionally recording things in the notes app on his phone.

I watched his profile for a long time.

Then I looked away, turning my gaze to the window.

That night, I returned to the master bedroom.

Ji Yan held me from behind.

His voice was barely a whisper. “I’m sorry.”

I stayed completely still.

I paid no attention to those meaningless words.

The anesthetic in the wound on my knee had worn off.

Waves of sharp pain dragged me out of my memories.

Cheng Shu had returned to China and appeared in our lives again.

If I had been the woman who had just married him three years ago,

I would have rushed to stake my claim.

I would have done everything I could to prove to her that Ji Yan was mine now.

But now,

whether because I was emotionally exhausted or knew my place too well,

I wasn’t going to waste my energy that way again.

In Ji Yan’s heart, I would never matter as much as Cheng Shu.

I had understood that three years ago.