Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I told my brother that the pressing matter at hand was not my marriage, but His Majesty’s health.

I asked my brother to go to Jiangnan and find a renowned physician who specialized in heart diseases.

My brother was puzzled.

I couldn’t tell him that His Majesty might pass away in a year.

His Majesty suffered a sudden heart ailment.

When it struck, he was slumped over his desk.

The attendants thought he had fallen asleep.

After a while, when they tried to wake His Majesty, they discovered that he had already passed away.

Both His Majesty and Li Lin died too early, and for a time, I bore the stigma of bringing doom to father and husband.

It was the Empress Dowager who steadfastly supported me.

Whether it was for the child in my womb or genuine affection for me.

In any case, she never blamed me in the slightest for it.

Instead, she seized the family of Song Xiuying, who had spread the rumors, and dealt with them as they deserved: some were beaten, some executed, and some exiled.

She said:

“Throughout history, which woman who stood at the pinnacle of society has not been cursed?”

“The more they curse you, the more it shows you stand in their way.”

“If you can’t endure it and fall, you are nothing but their stepping stone.”

“But if you become a towering mountain, they will have to praise you and go around you.”

“Guanyin, you must live up to your name.”

Afterward, countless difficult days and nights.

By day, I maneuvered among the ministers at court.

Striving to discern the hidden conflicts of interest behind their grandiose words.

By night, I was entangled with Li Kun, who would suddenly break into the palace chambers.

Countless times I thought of stabbing him to death, but I forced myself to endure.

I would always recall the Empress Dowager’s words.

I refused to be a stepping stone for others to trample.

I would grow into a mountain, so that all could only revere me, praise me, and worship me.

That was the beacon that guided me through the darkness.

But such a terrifying life left me sleepless at night, and eventually my health failed me.

My heart pounded fiercely, and I often felt I might drop dead any day.

The imperial physician said I had the same palpitation disorder as the late Emperor Emeritus.

Li Kun looked at me in silence for a long time.

He sent people far and wide to search for renowned doctors.

Later, he personally went to Jiangnan to bring back a famous physician.

That physician prescribed medicine and instructed me to go to bed and rise early, resting on a regular schedule.

From then on, Li Kun restrained himself considerably.

When it was time for me to sleep, even if he wanted to devour me, he would barely hold back and hurriedly leave the palace.

Sometimes I felt he had a sliver of true feelings for me.

Other times, I thought my illness was caused by him, and I hated him to death.

And so we were entangled in a cycle of hatred, sighs, disgust, and regret.

In this life, I thought, it would be better for His Majesty to live.

He was a wise ruler who could command the court and reassure the people.

If he lived, the chaos that followed would not occur.

My brother prepared to go to Jiangnan.

I told him that the renowned physician had a temperament and could only be pleaded with, not coerced.

My brother agreed.

He requested leave and hurried down to Jiangnan.