Chapter 2

Chapter 2

In my past life, my relationship with Li Lin could be described as mutually respectful.
He was the restrained, noble Crown Prince.
I was the virtuous and proper Crown Princess.
He gave me respect.
I managed the Eastern Palace.
I thought he was just such a self-disciplined, ritual-abiding person.
It wasn’t until Song Xiuying was brought into the Eastern Palace that I saw Li Lin’s youthful, spirited side.
He would notice every flower and tree around him and bring them back for Song Xiuying; her Changchun Pavilion truly lived up to its name, evergreen in all seasons.

Later, when the emperor passed away suddenly, Li Lin hastily succeeded to the throne.
He defied all opposition to make Song Xiuying an Imperial Noble Consort.
It was the Empress Dowager who stopped him.
The Empress Dowager gave him two choices:
Either make Song Xiuying an Imperial Noble Consort, but the Song Family would be barred from the imperial examinations for three generations;
Or make Song Xiuying merely Consort Jian, and the Song Family would remain as before.
Li Lin chose the second option.
At that time, everyone congratulated me, saying Li Lin had finally come to his senses and was returning to his rightful path.
But my heart grew cold; Li Lin was so considerate of Song Xiuying-it was only a matter of time before the Song Family’s power became overwhelming. I always felt that one day he might depose me as Empress.
However, all my worries were unnecessary.

Li Lin and Song Xiuying were traveling incognito among the people when they encountered an assassination attempt.
Song Xiuying took an arrow for him.
But the archer had immense strength, and the arrow pierced through Song Xiuying’s body and into Li Lin’s heart.
The two died together.
When the Empress Dowager heard the news, she fell ill and never recovered.
She hated Song Xiuying deeply; even though she died for Li Lin, she still loathed her fiercely.
She condemned the entire Song Family, confiscating their property and exiling them. She also ordered a thorough investigation into the case, rounding up all the remnants of the previous dynasty who had orchestrated the assassination.
As her life ebbed away, she looked regretfully at my belly, saying she would never see the child I carried be born.
She grasped my hand and prayed, word by word:
“This child you carry must be a son!!! It must be a son!!!”
I held her hand in return and comforted her:
“Royal Mother, the imperial physician has examined me. The child in my womb is a son. I will assist him in ascending the throne and ensure he becomes a good emperor.”
The Empress Dowager smiled and breathed her last.

Alas, I lied to her.
Not long after, I gave birth to a daughter.
But to the outside world, I had certainly given birth to a “son.”
This was the secret of the entire imperial palace.

When I returned home,
another great uproar ensued.
My elder brother wanted to seek out the Crown Prince; they were good brothers.
The Crown Prince had once personally promised him that he would treat me well.
In our past life, the Crown Prince did keep his word.
Even after he became emperor, he still honored me as Empress and did not elevate Song Xiuying to the Empress’s throne, thereby slapping my face.
He also died early-so early that we never had the chance for much discord, and in my heart, I did not resent him.
I only regretted that he departed so hastily, forcing me to suddenly take over the court, leaving me flustered and exhausted, both in body and spirit.
But after tasting the flavor of power, I even basely felt glad that he had died early, allowing me to see a broader world.

I grabbed my brother’s arm and said firmly:
“Brother, the Crown Prince is our sovereign! He has already fallen out with the Empress over Song Xiuying. As his good brother, if you go and pressure him now, it will only make him more uncomfortable. Besides, I no longer wish to marry the Crown Prince.”
“Why? Don’t you fancy the Crown Prince?” My brother said, feeling a bit sorry for me.

I had indeed once fancied Li Lin.
But later, after being entangled with Prince Regent Li Kun for twenty years,
I gradually came to realize that my fondness for Li Lin was merely the fancy of a maiden in her boudoir for a dream lover.
He was like a beautiful dream, one that could only appear in dreams.
In dreams, he was perfect in every way, the image I could freely idealize.
But in reality, he was a living, breathing person with his own joys and sorrows, all of which towered above me. It was I who had to become the person he hoped for in order to earn his respect.
Thus, I had long since stopped liking Li Lin.
So I could no longer face him, to become his Crown Princess.

Firmly, I said: “I no longer like him. Ever since I found out he had someone in his heart, I stopped. Brother, did you know he likes Miss Song?”
“No.” My brother sighed.
As I thought.
Li Lin had always hidden it well-so well that when Song Xiuying entered the palace, I only assumed the Crown Prince had taken a sudden liking to her. Who could have expected that she was actually his dream lover all along?