Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Crown Prince Li Lin’s gaze passed over me and fell on Song Xiuying.

Song Xiuying dipped into a graceful curtsy, her smile sweet and radiant.

“Your Highness!”

Li Lin seemed dazed for a moment before his eyes returned to me.

My family had served as nobles and officials for generations.

I was known far and wide for my virtue, and I had long been the unofficially chosen Crown Princess.

Today’s consort selection banquet was supposed to be nothing more than a formality.

In my previous life, I smoothly accepted the jade pendant and knelt to thank the emperor for his grace.

But Li Lin did not love me.

Three months after our wedding, he brought Song Xiuying into the Eastern Palace as a secondary consort.

They were perfectly matched, inseparable day and night.

I guarded an empty chamber alone and became nothing more than an ornament in the Eastern Palace.

The only thing I had going for me was luck. In those three months after the wedding, I successfully conceived. Later, I safely gave birth to a child and helped him ascend the throne.

But in this life, I did not want to rely on luck alone.

I raised my eyes and looked at him calmly, saying in an extremely low voice, “Your Highness, the person you choose will be the one who accompanies you for the rest of your life. If you choose wrongly, then for the rest of your life, the one you truly love will suffer, and you will never get what you wish for. Please think carefully.”

Li Lin looked deeply at me. Then, with firm resolve, he handed the Phoenix-patterned Jade Pendant to Song Xiuying.

Behind us, the Empress snapped in a low voice, “Crown Prince!”

Li Lin took Song Xiuying’s hand, and the two of them knelt together before the Empress. With complete sincerity, he said, “Royal Mother, Miss Song is the woman I admire. I only wish to choose her as my Crown Princess. I beg Royal Mother to grant us this.”

Everyone was stunned.

The Empress’s gaze darkened. She did not need to show anger to command fear.

She kept Li Lin and Song Xiuying behind and dismissed everyone else.

Before the palace doors closed, I saw disappointment flash across the Empress’s face.

The consort selection banquet ended in a hasty mess.

But none of that had anything to do with me anymore.

As I left the palace, Zhao Xishi caught up to me.

She looked me over several times. Seeing my indifferent expression, she said, somewhat resentfully, “Doesn’t it hurt at all?”

“The position of Crown Princess that belonged to you was snatched away just like that.”

“Losing to you would have been one thing. But what does it mean for me to lose to Song Xiuying?”

In my previous life, Zhao Xishi had been another of the Crown Prince’s secondary consorts.

She was even more pitiful than I was.

After Li Lin died, I at least had my child to rely on, and I managed to make something of myself.

Even though I died, I could not truly say I had regrets.

But she remained a virgin until the day she died.

After Li Lin’s death, she moved to Yuhuang Temple.

I once considered letting her return to her family.

But she willingly became a nun to preserve her chastity for Li Lin.

Her ambition had been to become a virtuous consort, to leave her name in the history books. She would never allow any flaw in her conduct to tarnish the Li family’s reputation.

The last time I saw her was when I went to Yuhuang Temple to pray for my imperial son.

We met in a meditation room in the rear courtyard. She questioned me, asking whether the matter between Prince Regent Li Kun and me was true.

I was silent for a long time and did not deny it.

She was furious and demanded to know whether Li Kun had forced me.

“If you say he did, I won’t blame you. I will even find a way to help you.”

I shook my head and said, “I was willing.”

At that time, several factions in court were locked in struggle, and my imperial son and I were gradually being stripped of power.

I had no choice. I could only pull Li Kun to my side.

Li Kun did not care for fame or profit.

He cared for beauty.

Many times, when he caught me dazed with desire, he would laugh softly beside my ear and say, “Sister-in-law, you smell so sweet.”

I hated him so much my teeth itched, but I had no choice but to play along.

As Li Kun entered and left the inner palace more and more often, rumors began to spread.

I simply had not expected that even Zhao Xishi, who was living in a Buddhist temple, would know.

Her eyes widened in disbelief.

“Zheng Guanyin, how did you become like this?”

Her face turned cold, and she told me to leave.

“You need not come again. A pure Buddhist sanctuary cannot tolerate such filthy affairs.”

But as I was leaving, a young novice nun chased after me and handed me a sachet. Inside it was a safety talisman.

The young novice nun said innocently, “Abbess Huijing kept this before the Buddha for many years. It is a gift for you, Empress Dowager.”

I held that safety talisman in my hand and could not speak for a long time.

I carried that sachet with me for the rest of my life.

I placed it inside another sachet and always kept it carefully preserved.

It truly protected me for many years, allowing me to fulfill my wish before I died. It truly was miraculous.

I came back to myself and looked at Zhao Xishi’s indignant face. Then I gently embraced her.

“The position of Crown Princess is decided by the Crown Prince.”

“If you don’t want to live beneath Miss Song, then you need to make other plans for yourself.”

I released her and prepared to board my carriage.

Zhao Xishi caught my wrist, looking somewhat stunned.

“You’re not marrying the Crown Prince?”

“I’m not.”

I heard my own voice, very soft and very relieved.