chapter 3

The day Shen Yan returned was bright and clear.

The army came home in triumph. The Crown Prince rode beyond the city to welcome it, while half the capital crowded along the road to watch.

Shen Lin had gone out at dawn. She would never miss a chance to distinguish herself among the capital’s noble young ladies.

I heard she had reserved the finest private room at Wenlai Pavilion and invited all her fashionable friends.

The pavilion stood beside Chang’an Avenue. When the time came, all she need do was lift the curtain to see her elder brother—the celebrated hero whose name now rang throughout the realm.

Only my mother-in-law and I remained at home.

I was reviewing the household accounts when Qiao’er, one of her maids, came to report that the old lady’s leg ailment had returned.

I took out some silver and summoned the gatekeeper, telling him to fetch a physician.

Qiao’er said, “The Old Madam says there is no need for such trouble. It is only an old complaint. She asks that Madam visit her and speak a few comforting words. That will be enough.”

I understood at once.

The old lady had summoned me for a lecture.

Incense drifted through her bedchamber. She reclined upon a couch, turning a string of prayer beads as I paid my respects.

“I am growing old,” she said. “I cannot compare with your youth and beauty. In another few years, every affair in this household will surely fall to you.”

“If Xiyun has failed in any way, Mother, please instruct me.”

Her eyes traveled slowly over me before she snorted. “Your husband has been away for three years and is finally coming home. Have you prepared his meal? Is hot water ready for his bath? Have you sent someone to wait outside the palace for him? My son has rendered meritorious service to the realm. Nothing in his food, clothing, lodging, or travel may be treated carelessly.

“You have some standing among the capital’s ladies now. You must conduct yourself with dignity. Stop thinking only of dressing in gaudy colors and embarrassing the Shen family.”

There would be a victory banquet for Shen Yan at the palace, followed by invitations from his colleagues. He was aloof by nature, and once he became the most powerful man at court, ordinary officials would struggle even to see him. But he held only the third rank now and could not yet refuse every official banquet.

He did not need a meal prepared at home. All he would need was a bowl of soup to sober him.

Countless eyes were watching the newly decorated hero. We ought to keep as low a profile as possible. Sending servants to wait ostentatiously outside the palace would merely invite accusations of arrogance.

As for dressing in gaudy colors—

I glanced down at myself.

I was wearing hibiscus pink that day. The color was bright, and it happened to be the day of Shen Yan’s return. In the old lady’s eyes, that was enough to make me frivolous and wanton.

Never mind.

There was no point in arguing.

As she spoke, the last uncertainty I had carried since my rebirth finally vanished.

Unless Shen Yan committed some crime that condemned nine generations of his clan, nothing he did concerned me anymore. His mother could do as she pleased.

I bowed. “Mother has considered everything. We shall proceed exactly as you say. Xiyun will see to it now.”

I had barely lifted my foot when an old servant beside her said, “Madam, the Old Madam’s leg is troubling her. Please massage it for her.”

Outside, the sun blazed in a cloudless sky. In heat like this, how could her legs possibly have caught a chill?

I arched a brow and smiled.

“Is Mother’s ailment truly so severe?”

My mother-in-law frowned. “What do you mean by that?”

I calmly straightened my skirts.

“If Mother is unwell, a proper physician should examine her. Xiyun knows nothing of medicine. If I press the wrong point, I may make matters worse. I still have accounts to review, so I will return to my rooms and leave Mother to rest in peace.”

“Hmph. Now that your husband has risen high and outsiders show you a little respect, you return home and forget all deference to your elders. Serving your mother-in-law is your duty. If you are too busy, perhaps we should add a few women to my son’s rooms. With others to help you, surely you would find the time.”

My expression chilled.

“The Shen family agreed before our marriage that he would take no concubines.”

A triumphant look flickered across her face when she saw my anger.

“That was then. This is now. My son labors day and night over affairs of state, easing His Majesty’s burdens, yet he has not even a woman to grind his ink and attend him. People will laugh when they hear of it. Besides, the Shen line will need an heir one day. Xiyun, you must be sensible. I speak for your sake and for the sake of this household.”

With Princess Pingyang waiting in the wings, she would not truly encourage Shen Yan to take an ordinary concubine. She had said it only because she knew I would never agree and wanted to force me into submission.

I slowly came to a stop. The sun outside was enormous, yet not a trace of warmth reached me.

The Shen household was so cold.

Cold enough to numb the heart.

Softly, I said, “That is easily solved. We can divorce.”

“What did you say?”

Not only my mother-in-law, but even Xing’er, the maid who had come with me as part of my dowry, stared in horror. Forgetting the rules, she reached out and tugged at my sleeve.

I heard my own voice rise.

It grew firmer.

There was even a hint of relief in finally saying the words aloud.

“That is easily solved. Your son and I can divorce.”