chapter 3

chapter 3

For the customary visit to my parents three days after the wedding, I had Xiaoli dress me magnificently. Whatever was finest and most expensive went on me. My parents had to believe I was living well in the Shen household.

Shen Yunfeng had not visited me once since that morning, so I sent the steward to fetch him.

The steward soon returned and reported that Concubine Lan was ill with a fever. Shen Yunfeng could not leave her and asked whether the visit might be postponed for two days.

The steward bowed so low that he nearly folded in half, afraid I would punish him in anger.

I dismissed him, but first ordered him to open my private storehouse and send rare medicinal ingredients to Concubine Lan.

Xiaoli stamped her feet. “Miss, that woman has gone too far! Let us tell the old madam and have her punished.”

Silly girl.

Did she imagine Madam Shen knew nothing of such an important matter? The wife had already been secured; everything else could be left to her son. Quarreling with him for the sake of an outsider like me would hardly be worthwhile.

I sighed inwardly. All the earnest advice I had given Shen Yunfeng had already been cast aside.

So be it. I was not entirely honest either. We were even.

At the Cui residence, my parents had been waiting at the gate since early morning.

The moment Mother saw me descend alone from the carriage, her eyes reddened. With so many servants watching, she forced herself to say nothing. Once inside, she embraced me and wept.

I patiently comforted her and praised the Shen family at length.

At last I said, “Meng Lan is shallow, intolerant, and without a powerful family to support her. What does she have with which to compete against me? I merely refuse to employ sordid tricks.

“Your daughter is confident in her appearance and learning. It is only a matter of time before Shen Yunfeng falls in love with me.”

Only then did Mother stop crying and nod repeatedly. “Good. Good. That is a daughter of the Cui family.”

Father was reserved and did not weep as Mother did, but the worry in his eyes ran deeper. He had already lost one daughter. He could not bear to send another to an early grave.

“If you are wronged, tell me. I have served as an official all my life. At worst, I will risk this old face of mine and beg His Majesty to grant you a divorce.”

Divorce.

It sounded so graceful: two people parting, each free to seek happiness. But that freedom belonged only to men.

If a divorced woman returned to her birth family, there was no certainty they would truly accept her. Society would spit on her and mock her supposed want of virtue. In the end, her only road might be to cut off her hair and enter a convent.

I did not want my parents to worry, so I soothed them until the household’s sadness finally gave way to conversation and laughter.

After lunch, I slept soundly in my old bedchamber. When Xiaoli woke me, evening was near.

Perhaps it was the haze of waking, or the sunset glowing beyond the window, but melancholy swept over me.

I truly hated to leave home.

Seeing this, Mother simply ordered me to stay.

“Remain a few more days. I will speak to the Shens.”

After a moment’s thought, I agreed.

I had tried reason and goodwill, yet still failed to win basic respect. From now on, I would follow Madam Shen’s example and regard myself as an outsider.

So long as I did not divorce and did not bear children, they could treat me as though I were invisible.