Chapter 9

My husband and I began competing for his favor.

When my husband gave him gold, Dadiao went to dine with him, drink tea, play chess, and talk.

When I gave him gold, Dadiao slept with me.

We kept giving and giving, until one day Dadiao vanished.

We searched for him for a very, very long time.

We couldn’t find so much as a hair.

In the pouring rain, we cried our hearts out.

Dadiao had run away with our money.

I’d given him my entire dowry.

My husband had emptied the family coffers too.

Just as I was consoling myself that I still had my estate, I learned Dadiao had secretly sold that as well!

The estate earned me several hundred taels of silver a year. I would have sold myself before selling it.

And Dadiao had sold it for me.

I had been counting on that estate to live on.

I was devastated.

Dadiao had been in my world for three months.

He’d taken all my money.

And all my husband’s money too.

I couldn’t eat or drink.

My heart was broken.

My husband looked just as lost.

“The first person I ever fell in love with,” he said, “was not only a man, but a swindler.”

“It was my first time falling in love with a man too,” I said through tears. “He took my money and stole my heart. I’ll never love again.”

My husband and I had something in common now.

At first we were angry. Later, all we wanted was for Dadiao to come back. We wouldn’t blame him.

He was so beautiful. How dangerous it must be for him out there.

Later, we feared it had all been a dream. Only by talking to each other could we find a little comfort.

At least Dadiao really had been part of our lives.

My husband and I could live together peacefully now.

I would still say to him, “You looked so lovely when you smiled. You kissed me so tenderly. Being with you was the happiest time of my life.”

“He understood me,” my husband said. “He understood my ambitions and all those years of difficult study. He wasn’t only my beloved. He was my kindred spirit.”

We could speak of this experience only to each other. No one else could know.

Then, two months later, I discovered I was pregnant!

Four months pregnant, in fact.

I was overjoyed.

Although Dadiao had flown away.

He had left me a precious gift.

A child.

Though I was penniless, I decided to have the baby.

I thought my husband would go mad with jealousy when he found out.

He might even be cruel enough to throw me out.

But to my surprise, he looked tenderly at my belly. “That’s his child. I must take good care of his child. He’s certain to come back.”