Heartwarming
How Satisfying It Is to Talk Nonsense with Relatives
Twenty years ago, my dad got drunk and let it slip to someone that he had made two hundred thousand yuan in a year raising chickens. Before long, every chicken on his farm had been poisoned to death.
Later, my dad bought an eighty-million-yuan apartment in Beijing outright, and he didn’t tell a single person back home. Even my grandparents had no idea.
Now my dad has long since become the CEO of a corporation worth several hundred million. Every time we go home for New Year’s or the holidays, he makes my mom and me help him pretend we’re poor.
At the New Year’s Eve dinner, I sat there bundled in a thick cotton coat and cotton slippers, both hands shoved into my pockets.
And so began my proud inheritance of my father’s fine tradition: talking absolute nonsense.
Who would’ve thought I’d overdo the act and run into someone I knew?
Me: “President Gu?”
Him: “President Shen?”
Then we both clapped a hand over each other’s mouths.
Ex-Boyfriend’s Little White Dog
It was the fourth year of my relationship with Tong Yuen.
The harshest words I had ever heard came from his mother.
“Two men together-how are you supposed to get married and have children?”
“Don’t ruin him.”
“He was perfectly normal before he met you.”
“Mr. Fu, you’re not a child anymore. Have some sense.”
Finally, enduring the pain, I broke up with him.
But Tong Yuen spent the entire night huddled outside my door.
He tried to force the Little White Dog he had sewn together, stitch by stitch, into my hands.
When I rejected him again, he finally broke down in tears.
“Gege, you don’t want the Little White Dog… and you don’t want me anymore either?”
Don’t Mess With The Ex-Fiancée
It was the eighth year of my unrequited love for Shen Sui, and he still refused to acknowledge me as his fiancée.
He had me pulled from the red carpet just to please his Little Canary.
In front of the media, the same mouth that had kissed me a thousand times claimed that we were nothing more than ordinary friends.
Later, I looked him in the eye and said seriously:
“Don’t pull away. Otherwise, we won’t look like ordinary friends.”
His eyes rimmed with red, and his voice trembled as he spoke:
“I’m just an ‘ordinary friend’ to you?”
His Little Sunshine
I was only fourteen years old when I entered the palace.
My uncle asked me if I wanted to become an Imperial Concubine for the New Emperor.
“Who is the New Emperor?”
I looked at him, feeling a bit curious.
My uncle smiled kindly and said, “The New Emperor is, of course, the former Crown Prince.”
“The Crown Prince?” I widened my eyes and nodded. “Then I’ll do it.”
And so, I moved into the White Deer Terrace and became Consort Shu.
Married Off to a Hunter
Before my father, Zhao Yong’an, left to join the army, he said that if he died out there, my mother was allowed to remarry the village hunter.
But though the hunter had a crippled leg, he was the fiercest man around. They said he could kill a tiger with a single punch, and that he had even beaten his previous wife to death.
If my mother married him, it would be no different from sending her to her death.
Three years later, sure enough, news came that Father had died.
Grandmother and the clan elders took twenty taels of silver from the hunter and forced my mother to be sold off to him.
The Frog Princess
In the Fifth Year of Taiyuan, at the Start of Summer, a princess died in the Beiliang Royal Palace.
And a toad.
Anping was that unfortunate princess.
And I was that unfortunate toad.
Fortunately, since her death, I have become her.
Stars Without End
I chased after He Chenyi for six years, coming whenever he called, leaving whenever he waved me away.
While he was holding another woman and drinking a wedding toast, I was diagnosed with Leukemia at the hospital, with only three months left to live.
Later, he knelt by my hospital bed, crying and begging me to accept a bone marrow transplant.
How ridiculous. I never even wanted to live.
Love on the Cliff
Because he was poor, Zhou Jinyan never brought up the subject of marriage.
That was until the day I saw him casually open a bottle of wine that cost as much as my entire annual salary.
It turned out that being born into royalty and living a life of luxury was the true Zhou Jinyan.
His friend asked, “Aren’t you tired of playing the pauper after five years? When do you plan to come clean with her?”
Zhou Jinyan flicked his eyelids open with nonchalance. “On the day of the engagement, I suppose.”
I didn’t get hysterical. On the day of his engagement, I boarded a plane and crossed the ocean.
I later heard that on the day of his engagement,
He suddenly had a change of heart midway, driving back to an old rental apartment.
When he saw that the place was empty and I was gone, he completely lost his mind.
Thorny Rose
When I was five, my father brought home a handsome deaf boy and made him my child husband.
I prided myself on being a progressive woman; since childhood, I always told people he was my brother. I never expected that, more than ten years later, one drunken night,
I slept with him – and forgot about it.