Aristocracy
I Saw Qingwu
When my elder sister was preparing to marry Marquis Ding’an,
she caught the eye of the Crown Prince.
Our entire family was overjoyed.
To give the marquis’s household an explanation, they pushed me out in her place on the day of the wedding.
After we were married, Marquis Ding’an despised me.
Again and again, he mocked me to my face:
“Crude and vulgar. You don’t compare to your sister in the slightest.”
“You can’t even read an account book. Astonishingly stupid.”
I felt wronged too. I smashed my rouge and powder at him and cursed,
“My sister is the Crown Princess now. If you’re so capable, go steal her back, you coward!”
And so we spent our entire lives at each other’s throats.
When I opened my eyes again, I had returned to when I was sixteen and not yet married.
My elder sister looked at me with smiling eyes and coaxed,
“Little sister, would you like to marry into the marquis’s household and become the Marchioness?”
Arrogance
My husband brought home a young woman.
I waited for her to bow and pay her respects, but she started shouting that “all people are born equal.”
I suggested she become his concubine, and she clung to my husband, demanding “one man, one woman, for one lifetime.”
My husband told me to be more accommodating toward her.
I was silent for a long while.
Then I kicked him straight into the sewage ditch.
“You’re the one who’s born equal to dogs. The two of you can go be a pair of dogs for life!”
The Stench of Copper
My father was the richest man in Great Zhou, and I was his only daughter.
To protect me, he arranged for me to marry into Marquis Manor with an enormous dowry.
On the day of my engagement, I had a dream.
I dreamed that Marquis Manor looked down on me for being born to a merchant family, while the Young Marquis doted wholeheartedly on his talented cousin.
After my father died, my dowry was swallowed up completely.
To make his cousin his legitimate wife, the Young Marquis bribed the midwife to murder me while I was in childbirth.
When I woke from the dream, the Young Marquis walked into my family’s jewelry shop with his cousin in tow.
“Since you’re going to marry into Marquis Manor, you ought to shed that stink of money. Marquis Manor can’t afford that kind of embarrassment.
“Give this shop to my cousin. Consider it a greeting gift from you, her future sister-in-law.”
I looked at his smug, superior face and let out a cold laugh.
Then I turned and ordered the steward to throw him out.
“What kind of down-and-out household starts eyeing a wife’s dowry before she’s even married in?
“Your highborn Marquis Manor has worse manners than a farming family!”
The Orphaned Song Girl
I have been selling wontons in the capital for twenty years.
Prince Cheng’s Heir was galloping through the city when his horse’s hooves trampled my wonton stall. He even struck me with his whip.
The heir was incredibly arrogant. “You’re just a lowly commoner,” he sneered. “Even if I don’t pay you a copper, what can you possibly do about it?”
The next day, I went to the Capital Prefecture to beat the drum and cry for justice.
The Six Ministers of the Six Boards arrived in person, and the Left and Right Censors were present to observe the proceedings.
Marquis Ningzhao hauled the heir into the hall. “I’ve caught the little brat!”
The Emperor, seated upon the main throne, declared, “Beat this boy until even his father won’t recognize him.”
You Really Know How to Do It, Don’t You?
I was a Little Blind One, and I met an Old Swindler.
To keep ourselves fed, the two of us pretended to be Daoist priests, making a living by conning our way into wealthy households.
That day, the General’s Mansion put up a notice seeking someone with profound magical power to enter the estate and catch a ghost.
The two of us gritted our teeth and immediately decided to go big or go home!
Who would have thought that, inside the General’s Mansion, more people died with each passing day?
Oh my god. There really was a ghost.
The Old Swindler trembled as he shielded me behind him.
The malicious ghost’s shriek pierced our eardrums.
Silently, I formed a hand seal. “Gather the baleful qi of heaven and earth, thunder descend!!”
Old Swindler: “??? Wait, you actually know how?!”
My Heart Is a Rock That Cannot Be Moved
When my elder brother returned to the capital after investigating a case, he brought back two Liuxian Skirts, one blue-green and one pink.
He first asked my eldest sister which one she liked.
When it was my turn, my brother smiled gently.
“Pink is delicate, and it suits your complexion too. Do you like it?”
If I didn’t, there would be nothing left for me.
I nodded and took it.
Later, when choosing tutors and selecting study companions, it was always the same.
It was no different on the day we were to choose our husbands.
The Crown Prince won my eldest sister’s hand, looking thoroughly pleased with himself.
The Third Prince was crushed. He pointed at me at random.
“Then the Second Miss it is.”
After we married, the Third Prince regretted it a little.
But he was a good man.
He was willing to hand over management of the household to me, and he took no concubines.
Even when my eldest sister and I fell from our horses on the same day, he was the one who risked his life to save me.
At the very end, he touched my brow bone and let out a long sigh.
“Even if all I can ask for is a resemblance, so be it. In this life, I sought the highest, and in the end got only what was second-best.”
And so, when I was given a second chance at life, at the banquet where husbands were chosen,
I covered my brows and eyes and answered the Third Prince in a muffled voice.
“Yinyin already has someone she loves.”
Mother, I’m Just a Pig Butcher
I found an unconscious noblewoman by the river.
One bowl of lard rice a day, and she slowly nursed back to health.
Then one day, a great contingent of Tiger Guards came sweeping in full force to my butcher shop and knelt before the noblewoman: "We humbly request that our mistress return to the marquis's residence!"
The man leading them noticed me standing off to the side, trembling: "And who are you?"
I blurted out in a panic: "This commoner is the third butcher shop south of the city, pig slaugh-"
Before I could finish, the noblewoman clapped her hand over my mouth.
"This is my only daughter, the one I had fostered with my maiden family."
Green Snow
The Xie Family came to my door to break off the engagement, offering me two options.
Either the First Young Master and I dissolved our betrothal, and from then on, he and I would marry whomever we pleased, with nothing more to do with each other.
Or we changed the match: I would marry the Second Young Master instead, and I would still become a daughter-in-law of the Xie Family.
The First Young Master was a dragon among men. He had rendered great service while away on official business, and once he returned to the capital, he would be able to enter the Hanlin Academy. As an orphaned girl, my status was no longer worthy of him.
The Second Young Master was a concubine-born son of the family. Though he could not compare to his elder brother, he was still quite learned.
They were certain I would agree to the change. After all, no one could withstand the pressure of gossip and rumor-not to mention the Second Young Master was exceptionally handsome.
But what did any of that have to do with me?
I only asked calmly, “Is this the First Young Master’s wish?”
“It is! The First Young Master said that times change and circumstances shift. A clever young lady like you will surely know how to judge the situation.”
Later, I entered the palace and became a female official.
The Xie Family was about to be punished for their crimes.
The First Young Master Xie knelt outside the palace gates, begging me to pass a message inside.
My gaze fell on him without sorrow or joy, and I said mildly, “Young Master once told me to judge the situation. I have always kept that lesson close to heart and have never dared forget it.”
Tomorrow Will Be a Fine Day
The way I went from a Little Beggar to the Heir Apparent’s fiancée felt like a dream.
That day, I was crouched on the ground, gnawing on a coarse corn bun while watching two nobles argue.
They were like a pair of fighting roosters. It made for excellent dinner entertainment.
The Girl in Red sneered. “I would rather marry a fool or an idiot than ever marry a useless good-for-nothing like you!”
The Brocade-clad Youth roared back, “I would rather marry a chicken, marry a duck…” Halfway through, he pointed at me.
“I’d rather marry this Little Beggar than ever marry you!”
The Girl in Red looked at my dazed, foolish expression and laughed from sheer anger.
Her voice went taut as she said, “Fine! If you don’t marry her, you’re a cowardly bastard!”
Not a Nan
I am a bastard born of a concubine, yet I carry a face that could topple a kingdom.
When I was nine, a local thug tried to snatch me to make me his bride.
Mother risked her life to save me.
The next day, she took me through the streets and alleys of the capital for three hours, until every passerby had memorized my face.
Then she carried me to the gates of the Marquis of Pingyang Manor, knelt, and cried out:
“I, Lady Liu, a humble concubine, bore this girl for the Marquis on the ninth day of the twelfth month nine years ago in Apricot Blossom Alley, west of the suburbs. The neighbors can all attest to it.
“I know my lowly station and dare not ask for a title. I can only trade my death for the Marquis to acknowledge this child and raise her within the household!”
With that, she slammed her head against the stone lion at the gate and breathed her last.
My mother exchanged her life for my place in the Marquis’s household.
And she let the entire capital know that I am a bastard born of a kept woman.