2026

Everyone in my family is a protagonist.

Dad is a Qidian-style male lead: as “ordinary-looking” as Louis Koo, just your averagely rich Long Aotian.

Mom is a PO-style heroine, an innocent little flower on the outside who regularly throws orgies behind Dad’s back.

My fiancé is a Jinjiang-style male lead: prayer beads around his wrist, eyes reddening at the slightest provocation.

Beijing’s ascetic prince.

I’m only an anonymous extra, but I have a cheat of my own— A pirated-novel reader.

After waking up as a vicious empress, I accepted my fate.

The crown prince rebelled.

I ordered his death.

The emperor fell gravely ill.

I ruled from behind the screen.

The old ministers rose against me.

I threw them into the imperial prison, opened the civil service examinations to women, and brought in new officials.

A world of equality, for women and men alike.

Let it begin with this empress.

I was an old concubine.

After the old master died, I stayed on at the estate to enjoy a comfortable retirement.

The new mistress was a hopeless weakling.

Her husband’s mistress walked all over her, driving the couple apart and throwing the household into turmoil.

I could bear it no longer.

I decided to give her a hand.

Through tearful eyes, she looked at me doubtfully.

“That woman is terribly cunning, and my husband always takes her side.

What could you possibly…” I gave a smug little smile.

“Don’t underestimate me.

The old master once had a houseful of wives and concubines.

Now I’m the only one left.

Do you know why?”

I fled to Linjiang with my five-year-old sister.

We were close to starving when we met the kindhearted Steward Zhou.

“My mistress has been bedridden for a long time,” he told me.

“She wishes to adopt a daughter, someone to ease the loneliness of having no children.”

“Both your birth charts are compatible with hers.

One of you can be the young lady, but the other must be a maid.”

“Well, child?

Which will you choose?”

I was a virtuous woman, particularly skilled at repaying malice with kindness.

After years of marriage, I had little to complain of.

Except for one thing.

Whenever my husband and I retired a little early, my mother-in-law would bring her maids and serving women to pound on our courtyard gate.

Sometimes it was, “My boy, it’s cold tonight.

Be careful you don’t catch a chill in bed.”

Other times, “Son, you ate rather well at supper.

Your food hasn’t settled yet.

Don’t let it sit in your stomach and make you ill.”

After a while, I understood.

We were both women.

It wouldn’t do for me to be the only one getting her fill.

The thought was keeping Mother awake, tossing and turning all night.

So while my husband was away on business, I took three husbands for her in one go.

When the people from the marquis’s household came looking for me, I was lying on the ground, spitting up chicken blood, trying to swindle ten copper coins out of my brother.

My brother was terrified.

He shook me frantically.

“Guagua, don’t die!

I hid the money in a jar under the peach tree this time.

Boo-hoo…

You can have it all!”

I shot to my feet and raced off to dig up the money.

Nanny Feng stared, openmouthed.

“Perhaps we’ve found the wrong girl.”

Mother gave an awkward smile.

“There’s no mistake!

Her Ladyship and I gave birth together in that ruined temple.

This child has always been a little… lively.”

She came over, pinched my arm, and glared at me.

I had no time for her.

Dig, dig, dig!

Mother snatched up a feather duster and said through clenched teeth, “I’m counting to three…”

I dropped to my knees and clung to her leg, confessing at once.

“Mother!

I was wrong!

I shouldn’t have swindled my brother for the hundred and twenty-third time.

But he’s so easy to fool!

I can’t help myself!

Are you sure you didn’t bring home the wrong baby?

Why am I the only one who inherited your brains?”

When the marquis’s family brought me home as their lost daughter, I asked for three things: no comparisons, no taking from one daughter to give to the other, and the freedom to choose my own marriage.

They agreed, until my sister’s betrothed decided he wanted me instead.

Xun Yang thought marrying a country girl would free him from his family’s rules, but three years later, the defiance he once admired had become my greatest fault.

When he asked for a divorce, I agreed.

I had spent those years learning how to stand on my own, and I was ready to build a life that belonged to me.

My elder brother tried to put his concubine above his wife.

Father beat him so badly he could not get out of bed.

My sister-in-law’s family standing was a little lower than ours, but in character, looks, judgment, and household management, she was second to none.

If no one stood up for her, we would never hear the end of it.

Later, I married, and my husband made my life difficult.

My sister-in-law came to fetch me with a chest of gold and silver jewelry.

She told my husband: “Divorce her.

There are plenty of noble young men in Jiangzhou eager to marry my sister.

You, however, may have a harder time finding anyone who wants you.”

The emperor brought a woman back from Jiangnan and announced that he would make her a consort.

Every high-ranking consort in the palace came from a great aristocratic clan.

No common-born woman had ever been granted that rank.

Noble Consort Lu led the women of the imperial harem in kneeling outside Taiji Hall, their faces bare and their hairpins removed, to force the emperor to rescind his decree.

I alone came dressed in all my finery and bowed gracefully before the furious emperor.

“On behalf of the Li clan of Longxi, I petition Your Majesty to make Lady Yao your consort.”

My dad was a delinquent, my mom a troublemaking wild child.

They had me before they got married.

They never paid me much attention—until one day they realized something was wrong.

Very wrong.

Dad: “She’s in sixth grade and she’s never skipped a single class.

You don’t think there’s something wrong with her?”

Mom: “Look what I found in her room.

An Outstanding Student certificate!

That filthy thing—in our daughter’s room!

What are we going to do?”

That day, for the first time ever, they took me out together: hair dye, tattoos, an internet café, the works.

They were determined to set me straight and get me back on the right path.