Short Story
Married Off to a Hunter
Before my father, Zhao Yong’an, left to join the army, he said that if he died out there, my mother was allowed to remarry the village hunter.
But though the hunter had a crippled leg, he was the fiercest man around. They said he could kill a tiger with a single punch, and that he had even beaten his previous wife to death.
If my mother married him, it would be no different from sending her to her death.
Three years later, sure enough, news came that Father had died.
Grandmother and the clan elders took twenty taels of silver from the hunter and forced my mother to be sold off to him.
Marrying the Foolish Prince
Three days after I married the Foolish Prince, he started making a fuss about moving out of the bedchamber.
I grabbed him and demanded to know why. Blushing, he stammered, “When Ah Heng sleeps with my wife, Ah Heng always wets the bed.”
My gaze slid downward, and realization struck me at once.
As I helped him, my own face burning, I couldn’t resist teasing him. “Only children wet the bed. Why is Your Highness just like a child?”
Later, the clingy fool recovered and became the cool, aloof prince he truly was.
Day and night, he pressed close to me, his breath warm against my ear. “Only children wet the bed, Princess Consort… Why are you just like a child?”
Marrying the Sickly Eunuch
The world says that Cheng Xiu, the Director of the Eastern Depot, is sinister, cruel, treacherous, and ruthless.
The world is right.
I have always been competitive to a fault. When my elder sister from the legal wife fainted, I shoved the Regent Prince aside and carried her back to her chambers myself.
When my elder sister from a concubine fell into the water, I outstripped the Young Marquis to rescue her and bring her to shore.
When the Second Prince was about to win at pitch-pot, I fired two arrows simultaneously into the ears of the pot, snatching first place for myself.
At a palace banquet, Zhao Wangjian-who grew up with me-bet that I wouldn’t dare kick the Neighboring Country Prince in the backside. I laughed; there was nothing in this world I didn’t dare to do. I followed the prince into a small grove, but when I woke up, I was lying beneath Cheng Xiu.
He asked if I wanted to marry him.
Who would have thought? It turns out there actually is something in this world I don’t dare to do.
Master, You Have an Ill Omen on Your Face
How do you get a man to spend five million on you with a single sentence?
“Sir, your face bears an omen of disaster.” The man looked at me with utter disdain.
The next second, the Rolls-Royce he had parked by the roadside was hit by a van.
It exploded on the spot.
May Fourth Love Letters
Liu Xingzhi is dead.
His wife traveled all the way from Wuxi to Beiping to invite me to the funeral.
She did so because among his personal effects, there were dozens of letters, every single one of them addressed to me.
Yet, in the past ten years, I had only met him seven times.
May the Crown Princess Live Forever
For three years after I entered the Eastern Palace as a concubine, I had never even seen the Crown Prince.
I took it in stride. After all, I was face-blind.
If I mistook someone else for the Crown Prince and committed a capital offense, I would rather have no favor at all.
But after so long without his favor, even my food, clothing, and daily expenses became a problem.
To live a little better, I simply found three lovers to support me.
Zhang San worked in the Imperial Kitchen and could always bring me plenty of delicious food.
Li Si guarded the Garment Bureau and often sent me beautiful clothes.
As for Wang Wu, he was a skilled craftsman in the workshops. Every time we met, he gave me some clever new toy.
Lately, though, all three of them seemed short on money.
So I began thinking that I should try to please the Crown Prince and ask for some rewards to help support them.
Meeting You in Another World
When I was six years old, I first discovered I could see things that didn’t belong to this world.
My grandfather passed away that year, and we moved into his home in the Grain Bureau Residential Compound.
A week after he died, I saw him at home again. He was leaning on a dragon-head cane, tottering toward the bathroom all by himself.
I followed him, only to find the bathroom completely empty.
I told my dad about it, and he slapped me hard across the face.
Grandma said I was seeing “unclean things.”
But later, I realized I could see more than just the dead; I could see the living, too.
For instance, Aunt Chen from the compound had been away on a business trip to Beijing for several days. Yet one afternoon, I ran into her in the stairwell-just a fleeting glimpse.
I ran off to tell the adults who were outside enjoying the cool air. As a result, when Aunt Chen finally did come home, she and her husband had a massive row.
Mengyu
Mengyu was the last daughter of the Gu Family still waiting to be wed. Her two older sisters had both married poorly.
One had been wed to a scion of a prominent family who was riddled with venereal disease.
The other had married a rising star from a humble background who favored his concubines and mistreated his wife.
When it was finally her turn, the prospects were even worse.
She was bound by a betrothal made back when the Gu Family had yet to find success-a childhood engagement to a poor scholar.
With a fierce mother-in-law, a spiteful sister-in-law, and a spineless husband awaiting her, even Mengyu’s parents felt too ashamed to ask her to go through with it.
Yet, Mengyu spoke with gentle composure. “There is no need for you to be troubled, Mother, Father. From what I can see, all men in this world are the same. What difference does it make who I marry?”
Mew Mew and Him
I am the deadweight sister of the Number One Sword Cultivator of the Heartless Path.
He is a once-in-a-millennium cultivation genius, while I have never possessed a spiritual root.
Whenever I encountered danger, I would do nothing but cry out for my brother to save me.
My brother would always arrive instantly.
He would wipe away my tears with one hand while slaying every demon and monster with the other.
I thought he would always spoil me like this. Until I found myself in peril once more.
No matter how much I screamed, my brother didn’t appear.
The provoked Ghost Fiend had already coldly gripped my throat.
Yet, all I could see was a swarm of bullet-chat comments mocking me: [The male lead is staying away on purpose. He wants this drama-queen sister to suffer a bit so she finally learns her lesson.]
[She knows she’s weak but keeps running around recklessly. If she doesn’t die, who will?]
[She really messed with the wrong person this time. The villainous Ghost King has a violent temper and hates weak, useless girls who do nothing but cry.]
[And it’s because she barged in so rashly that the female lead found an opening to break through the formation and escape.]
[The villain lost his beloved female lead again. He’s gone mad with rage and is going to swallow the supporting female lead whole…] I was so terrified that I didn’t dare shed another tear.
But then, I suddenly heard the Ghost King’s complaining inner thoughts: {Am I ugly? Why does nobody like me?} {Everyone who doesn’t like me deserves to die-}
Seeing the youth’s eyes grow increasingly crimson, I spoke up in a panic: “-I like you!” “I… I only came here to confess my feelings to you.” “Please be with me, Senior!” He froze.
Midnight Phoenix
The night before last, I hooked up with a younger guy, only to find out the next day that he was the precious son my client wanted me to escort.
Before leaving for the airport, the young man turned to his mother and said, “You can rest easy with Auntie Que here. No one would dare mess with me except her. Oh, by the way, I finished all the liquor at home yesterday. Remember to buy some more for Grandpa.”
“You silly child, why did you drink so much?”
“…Too much pressure.”