Chapter 5

“Your Grace! All the assassins have been captured or killed. His Majesty fears for the safety of the empress dowager and the princes and princesses. He orders you to take your men back along the route and guard them!”

The messenger broke the deadlock. Shen Sui’an withdrew his spear, turned, and mounted his warhorse. Before wheeling it around, he gave me one more long look, then rode away.

I stayed on my knees until the entire procession was far away. Only then did I dare rise.

I turned straight into a warm embrace. My brother’s.

With a handkerchief, he carefully wiped the blood from my face. Then he parted my hair, section by section, to inspect my scalp. He pulled so hard that I grimaced in pain.

“Brother, I’m all right. It’s the assassin’s blood.”

He let out a breath. “Little sister, nothing must ever happen to you again.”

“Again?”

Puzzled, I could not help asking aloud.

His face, usually so unruffled, actually showed panic.

“I mean Father’s already gone. If anything happened to you as well, Mother would cry herself blind!”

His words let me feel what it was to be cherished. Smiling, I reassured him.

“Don’t worry, Brother. Your little sister is very clever!”

To my surprise, his face darkened at once. He rapped me on the head.

“Nonsense! You’ve always been careless, and your eyes are no good. Even when you’re walking down the street, I worry someone will knock you over.”

Clutching my head, I circled him and begged for mercy. Once again, the taro seller rescued me.

“Stop fooling around, you two. My charcoal’s still burning. Heat some water, wash yourselves, and go home. If your mother sees you like this, she’ll die of fright on the spot.”

Only then did I notice the dirt all over my brother’s long gown, as though he had fallen to the ground. His topknot was a little disheveled too.

After the turmoil, the sky was especially still and blue. I could not help marveling to myself.

How good it was. I was unharmed. The taro seller could still offer us hot water to wash, and my brother had come to take me home…

Before we knew it, spring had arrived. My brother’s examinations were near. Mother heard that prayers at Yin’an Temple outside the capital were especially effective, and put our names down in the queue well in advance.

At last our turn came. We packed early that morning, ready to spend three days at the temple fasting and praying for my brother’s good fortune.

Yin’an Temple was enormous, solemn and imposing. I heard the imperial family had recently come to pray there too.

I knelt before the host of gods and Buddhas and bowed devoutly, silently telling them what was in my heart.

First, my thanks that flowers could bloom again.

Second, my thanks that all my regrets had been made whole.

Third, my wish that those dearest to me should always prosper in peace.

When I rose, Mother was nowhere to be seen. She had probably gone to hang a prayer ribbon, so I followed her to the great, leafy banyan tree in the middle courtyard.

Mother stood on tiptoe, stretching her arms as far as she could and tossing a strip of red silk toward the highest branch. She called out as she did so.

“May the Bodhisattva bless my children with lifelong peace, and grant them all they wish for!”

Amused, I was about to go and help when the sight of another woman beneath the tree stopped me dead.

The woman’s skin was snowy white, her bearing noble. She was copying Mother, tossing red silk into the branches.

Finely dressed maids surrounded her, along with pale, beardless servants of an effeminate appearance.

She was my mother from my previous life. Or rather, I ought now to call her the empress dowager.

Mother was wonderfully oblivious. She had not noticed anything unusual about the woman laughing and chatting with her. But I did not want them becoming too close, so I hurried over and took her arm.

“Mother, you abandoned your daughter and ran all the way here! I’ve had such a time finding you. Let’s go and eat. They say the vegetarian food here is delicious.”

Mother introduced me with a little embarrassment and a little pride.

“This is my greedy daughter, Youniang. Please don’t laugh at her. She only behaves like this with her brother and me. Normally, she supports half our household with her own two hands!”

The empress dowager looked dazed. Then her face suddenly lit with joy.

“Daughters are wonderful. My Youyou is such a good girl too. She listens to everything her brother and I say. She’s never given me a moment’s worry. My mother-in-law and I don’t get along. Several times, Youyou knelt in punishment for me. When her brother complained that his seal paste wasn’t good enough, she stripped the fibers from a whole pond’s worth of lotus roots to make him more. Her hands were covered in little cuts.”

“Oh, what a lovely girl! How old is she? Married by now, I expect? Her husband must treasure a good girl like that.”

Once the talk turned to children, Mother grew animated. She did not notice the empress dowager’s face suddenly twist.

Seeing something was wrong, I quickly pulled Mother to me, away from the dowager.

The palace maids and eunuchs all broke into a panic, shouting, “Quick! Fetch Their Majesties!”