Chapter 4

Before we made our first sale, a troop of constables appeared. Like sheepdogs, they herded us vendors to either side of the street.

“His Majesty is returning to the palace from the outskirts! Commoners along the street must not look upon the imperial countenance. Heads down! Kowtow!”

I stood there, dazed. Just as a constable was about to lose his temper, the taro seller yanked me down.

I knelt on the ground. Beside me, she rolled her eyes and muttered, “Didn’t value her when she was alive. Now she’s dead, they wail for her every day, and go out beyond the capital to cry every year. They’d better not foul up our benefactor’s path to her next life. Even a ghost would roll its eyes at their mourning!”

Like all the countless people around me, I pressed my forehead reverently to the ground.

The passing procession was so grand that it stirred up a cloud of dust and got it in my eyes. What else could have made everything so blurred?

Disaster struck without warning. Arrows rained down. The taro seller reached frantically for my hand, but the panicking crowd swept us apart.

She became that frightened little girl again.

“Youniang! Find somewhere to hide!”

But the crowd had already swept me into the ring of assassins attacking the imperial party.

I crawled forward with my arms over my head. If I could reach the imperial carriage behind its ranks of guards, I would have a chance.

I had not yet seen my brother pass his examinations. I did not even know whether the winter shoes Mother had started yesterday would fit.

If I died, they would be heartbroken.

I was almost there. Just one more step. An arrow flashing coldly drove into the ground before me with the force of thunder.

A man’s voice rang out, cold and without feeling, as though addressing an insect.

“Commoners are forbidden to approach the imperial carriage!”

My heart clenched. In my previous life, that voice had offered me nothing but icy courtesies.

I looked up. Shen Sui’an’s eyes were fixed on me like a falcon’s upon its prey.

Behind him stood a carriage with phoenixes carved at all four corners, the ceremonial carriage of an empress.

Shen Sui’an was still protecting Li Yaoyao, just as he always had.

I felt a rush of air behind me. When I turned, an assassin’s blade was already coming at my face…

“My lord heir! Save me!”

I suppose I had finally found something to hold me to this world. I actually begged Shen Sui’an to save me.

He acted at once. His red-tasseled spear whipped past and sheared off a lock of my hair. Warm blood spattered my face. In an instant, the vicious assassin’s head parted from his body.

He withdrew his spear like the wind. Before I could rejoice at escaping death, its point was against my forehead.

Through a wash of scarlet, I met his eyes. His hand was trembling. The proud red tassel rustled in the wind.

He looked as though he were holding something back, struggling to contain himself. His eyes were already bloodshot. He spoke almost through gritted teeth.

“Tell me! Why did you address me as the heir?”

For a moment I was bewildered. Then I understood.

The old Duke of Anguo had died in the rebellion ten years ago. Now everyone called Shen Sui’an the Duke of Anguo.

It was only a form of address. Why such a reaction? Never mind. I would not get entangled with him. I would bluff my way out.

“I’m an ignorant common girl, my lord. In the plays back home, they always call the young gentlemen officials ‘my lord heir.’ I thought it was a respectful title for a great official like you. If I’ve offended you, please spare me. I’m a country girl. I don’t know any better.”

With terror on my face and blood all over it, I banged my head against the ground. I even forced out a few tears. I knew I must look utterly wretched.

He looked doubtful. He said nothing, only watched me cry.

I had cried before him in my previous life too.

Unable to bear his coldness and the pitying or mocking looks of the household, I had wept and demanded to know whether I deserved to be sacrificed to the love triangle between him, Li Yaoyao, and the crown prince.

Since the crown prince and Li Yaoyao were already betrothed, and the Shen family had already pledged itself to the future emperor and empress, why not release me? Let us part with dignity.

He refused without expression. “Princess, you are the most honored mistress of the Shen household. Apart from love, I give you anything you ask. If we divorce, the crown prince and Yaoyao will surely feel angry and guilty over us. I hope you can be understanding and spare others that burden. I want the two of them to be happy together forever.”

I slapped him then and there, sobbing until my voice was raw.

“But I’m a person! I’m not some cold porcelain ornament! I want to be loved. My parents and brother don’t love me, and neither do you, my own husband! Why won’t any of you consider that I’m flesh and blood? Tell me—even a mongrel has its mother and littermates to lick its fur. What about me? What about me?”

And what did Shen Sui’an do? Before my astonished eyes, he pushed a dagger into my hand.

“If you harbor resentment, Princess, use this dagger to cut the flesh from me, piece by piece, and vent your anger.”

I recoiled, backing away again and again. The dagger fell to the floor. “If you won’t, then stop saying these things. They give me a headache,” he said, and turned back toward the study.