Chapter 6

The year I turned twenty, Lü Buyu said he had saved a good deal of money.

“But I’m still a little short.” He looked troubled.

We had known each other for a year. He had been attentive and kind, and since his arrival, I had taken no other customers.

Even the madam took it for granted that he would redeem me.

She only kept looking at me reluctantly. “Xiaoqiao, you’re like a daughter to me.”

I smiled without answering.

Everyone in the house called her Mother. We were all her daughters.

In the end, it was just a way to keep the girls attached to her.

On the fifteenth night of the seventh month, I stood at the window, looking at the moon.

I thought that when it was full again next month, I would be looking at it from outside Yifang House.

“Lü Buyu is here to redeem you,” my sister-in-law said.

“He’s downstairs settling the accounts with Madam,” she added.

I kept looking at the moon. I remembered the morning my brother left. The moon hadn’t yet sunk behind the western hills. He had walked away beneath the stars.

That was the last time I saw him.

Before leaving, he had told me to look after my sister-in-law.

“Once I’m out, I’ll find a way to come for you,” I said.

She shook her head. “Xiaoqiao, if you get out, never come back.”

“This is my sin. I ought to stay here and atone for it.”

I didn’t press her.

My brother had told me to listen to her. So I would.

“I’ll go see how things are going.” She went downstairs.

A little later, she hurried back up. “Something’s wrong.”

“That wretched woman raised the price. Master Lü doesn’t have enough.”

I had expected as much. There had to be some bargaining. If the girls were allowed to leave too easily, everyone would start getting ideas. The madam would lose control, and Yifang House couldn’t stay in business.

I picked up the savings I’d kept beside my pillow for years and went downstairs.

“Will this make it enough?” I asked.

The madam glared at me. “Why are you interfering?”

For the first time, I contradicted her. “I’m not interfering. I want to buy my freedom.”

She fell silent and shot me a resentful look. Reluctantly, she brought out paper and a brush. “Very well. Master Lü, write the girl’s name and your own here. Sign it and put your mark on it. You hand over the money, and I’ll return her bond.”

With that, she set out the paper and brush.

Lü Buyu didn’t sign. Instead, he turned to look at me, tenderness in his eyes. “Xiaoqiao, go pack your things.”

The freedom I had longed for went to my head. I almost ran upstairs.

I had few belongings.

There was nothing here I would miss.

Except those two pearl hairpins.

I took the smaller one and left the larger for my sister-in-law. “Keep it as something to remember him by.”

She touched the pearl, and tears fell. “If only your brother were still alive…”

She didn’t finish.

I looked at her, then turned and went downstairs.

Something was wrong with the mood below. The madam was holding the signed paper, trembling all over.

When she saw me, she instinctively tried to hide it behind her back. Then, apparently remembering I couldn’t read, she laid it flat on the table again.

“Master Lü, you’d better tell Xiaoqiao yourself.”

I didn’t know what had happened. I only noticed that there was one more person in the hall than when I’d gone upstairs.

Qingyue, the new girl.

She was frail and often pressed a hand to her chest as she coughed.

The madam said she’d been the daughter of a wealthy family in town, pampered from childhood. Only after disaster struck her family had she been sold to a brothel.

“She’s educated, well-mannered, and very talented. Scholars love that sort of woman. They all want to make her their confidante.”

So despite Qingyue’s frailty, the madam had bought her. She said a little more care and medicine would restore her health, and then she could earn Yifang House a fortune.

Lü Buyu turned his face away and said nothing.

Seated in a round-backed chair, Qingyue frowned and coughed twice.

He turned back to her, pity on his face.

At last, he spoke. “Xiaoqiao, you’ve been at Yifang House for six years. A year sooner or later makes no difference to you.”

“You know that once a girl comes here, her good days are over. When I first fell for you, I truly wanted to help you. But you’ve already been ruined.”

“Qingyue has only just arrived. She’s still untouched. Can’t we save her first?”

“I’ll save up again and redeem you next year. All right?”

I stood frozen.

Then I saw my little chest in the arms of the burly man behind the madam, and I understood.

Lü Buyu had added my money to his own to redeem Qingyue.

“Give me back my money,” I said.

I had understood one thing since childhood: there was no point arguing endlessly. What mattered was the result.

When we farmed for an employer, he didn’t care how tired we were or how hard things had been. He cared only how much the fields yielded that year.

I didn’t want to hear the story of Lü Buyu and Qingyue. I didn’t care whether she was untouched. I only knew my money couldn’t be used to pave someone else’s way.

He sighed. “It’s already signed and sealed, Xiaoqiao. You can’t deny what’s written in black and white. Your money belongs to Yifang House now.”

“Don’t worry. I will redeem you one day.”

“You’ve lost your mother. Qingyue has lost both parents. Surely you can’t stand by and watch her sink into this mire?”

“Could you bear it, Xiaoqiao?”

I looked at him, puzzled. “What does that have to do with me?”

“I only want my money.”

Looking at him, I suddenly remembered the madam’s warning: don’t fall in love.

That thimble had reminded me of Mother, and I had given him my heart.

Now cold reality struck me across the face.

I understood clearly that I could no longer trust Lü Buyu.

All the more reason to get my money back.

“Don’t you love me anymore, Xiaoqiao?” he asked.

“Can you bear to see me suffer? Qingyue is so fragile. She writes such wonderful poetry. A woman of her talent shouldn’t be reduced to this. I can’t bear to see her suffer.”

I didn’t understand all this talk of love.

So I asked him, “Do you love me?”

“Of course.”

I shook my head. That wasn’t love.

Father had never said he loved Mother, but every time he went away, he wore her thimble around his neck and kept her in his thoughts.

My brother had never said he loved my sister-in-law, but after they married, he worked even harder. Sweat streamed down his dark face, yet he still grinned. He worried that pregnancy would tire her, and planned ways to earn enough to give her a good life.

Lü Buyu hurt me because he didn’t love me.

“If you love me, give me back my money,” I said.

He sighed, as though he hadn’t expected me to be so inflexible.

Then he straightened his back and knelt before me.

“Xiaoqiao, if you don’t believe me, kill me.”

He sounded so sincere.

I had no choice but to listen.

The madam rushed over and caught hold of me anxiously. “Xiaoqiao, he’s talking nonsense. Don’t take him seriously.”

I looked past her at Lü Buyu. “Are you talking nonsense?”

He shook his head. “I mean it.”

I turned to the madam, raised my brows, and smiled. “He says he means it.”

Then I went to the back courtyard.

The madam panicked. She sent people after me and urged Lü Buyu to leave.

Still kneeling, he watched me and called, “Heaven and earth can bear witness to my love for Xiaoqiao. Until she forgives me, I won’t get up!”

The madam was frantic.

She lunged at me to stop me—I already had a knife—and shouted for the others to help.

But most of the girls had seen me cut off Ah Hua’s hand. Every one of them was too frightened to come near.

Only my sister-in-law rushed forward.

But she didn’t stop me. She wrapped her arms tightly around the madam.

When I reached Lü Buyu, he was still on his knees.

He lifted his head. “Xiaoqiao, if killing me will ease your anger, do it.”

I looked at him and couldn’t help laughing. “I’ve always been very obedient, haven’t I?”

He nodded. “Yes.”

“So listen to me this time too, Xiaoqiao. Let’s help Qingyue first.”

I nodded and smiled gently. “All right. I’ll do as you say.”

Then I raised the knife and drove it into his chest as his eyes widened in shock.

“You told me to kill you. So I did.”

Screams broke out all around us.

Qingyue stared, dumbstruck. Then she cried out, clutched her chest, and fainted.

Lü Buyu’s eyes were wide too. He wasn’t dead yet. Looking at me, he opened his mouth and said my name.

I pulled out the knife and stabbed him again.

His breathing stopped. He toppled backward, rigid.

Blood ran from his chest and spread over the floor, staining the hem of my skirt red.

The madam hurried over and felt beneath his nose. Then she turned to me, despair written across her face. “He’s dead.”

She shook with fury.

But she still gave orders. “Shut the doors. Everyone back to your rooms.”

Because Lü Buyu had come to negotiate a redemption that day, no customers had been admitted after moonrise.

“Carry him to the back courtyard. A few of you, clean this up.”

Then she picked up the contract he had signed and tore it to pieces.

Finally, she looked at me. “Xiaoqiao, you pay for murder with your life.”

“His father is the county registrar.”

Before I could speak, my sister-in-law pulled me behind her.

“I killed him,” she said.

“Take me to the authorities.”

I saw that she had put on the pearl hairpin I had left her.

Lantern light glimmered on the pearl. It was beautiful.

The madam said nothing. She looked from my sister-in-law to me.

Then she took a paper from a chest. “Xiaoqiao, this is your bond.”

“Master Lü came to redeem you today. We’ve received the money. Your bond is returned to you. You’re free to go.”

She handed me my little chest as well.

“Your sister-in-law lost her mind. When she saw you were leaving, jealousy turned to hatred, and she killed Lü Buyu,” the madam said.

At those words, my sister-in-law seemed to go limp, as though all the air had left her. She knelt on the floor, crying behind her hand. “Yes.”

“Xiaoqiao, I’ve wronged you all these years.”

“Go. Hurry.”

I wanted to say something to her, but I couldn’t get the words out.

My chest felt terribly tight.

The madam pushed me all the way to the back courtyard.

“Get a carriage ready,” she told the driver quietly.

She stayed with me the whole way out of town.