Chapter 5

After that, Lü Buyu copied books by day and came to see me at night.

He said he would earn plenty of money and buy my freedom.

I smiled and agreed.

The madam said men couldn’t be trusted.

“But I have to get out somehow,” I said.

She lowered her head and fell silent for a while. Then she let the matter drop.

She only warned me, “Don’t fall in love.”

My sister-in-law said the madam seemed to treat me well. “She made you the house’s finest courtesan, and she’s always giving you advice.”

“Perhaps it’s because I do as I’m told,” I said quietly.

My obedience was what pleased her most.

Ever since I had entered Yifang House, I had done whatever she told me.

But this time, when she told me not to fall in love, I couldn’t obey.

At first, I had only meant to use Lü Buyu to get out.

But after two cups of wine that night, his gaze was no longer clear. I understood the fierce desire in it.

One man was the same as another.

So I took off my clothes. “From now on, I’m yours.”

“Will you take me away?”

His eyes were bloodshot. “Yes,” he said in a low voice.

“Xiaoqiao, I’ll take you away.”

I closed my eyes, bracing myself for the same rough treatment as always.

But the first thing I felt was a piece of cold metal.

I opened my eyes and saw the pendant around his neck, usually hidden beneath his clothes.

It wasn’t a jade pendant like those other scholars wore. It was something I knew only too well—a silver-colored thimble.

Like the one Mother had clutched before she died.

Seeing me stare, Lü Buyu looked a little sad. He rolled away and sat beside me, pulling the quilt over me.

Then he began to speak slowly.

“It belonged to my mother.”

“She was an embroiderer. When she married my father, he was only a poor teacher. Teaching earned very little. They barely got by, so Mother embroidered day and night. She used this thimble for ten years and couldn’t bear to replace it. Yet she bought Father a post as a county registrar.”

At Yifang House, I never spoke about my family.

But that night, looking at the thimble, I thought of Mother.

“My mother had a thimble too,” I said.

“Is she still alive?”

I shook my head. “Life was too bitter. She never tasted any sweetness.”

Lü Buyu said no more.

But from then on, he often stayed the night, telling me stories he never told anyone else.

“Mother died afterward. Worked herself to death. Less than six months later, Father brought home a new wife.”

“They lie on top of her bones, enjoying everything she paid for with her life. That’s why I always wear this thimble. To remind myself never to forget her.”

His eyes were cold as he said it, his lips pressed together.

I looked at him and fell in love.

There was a line in a song: “Both cast adrift at the ends of the earth.”

At that moment, I thought we were the same.

I told him that after Mother died, I had no one to depend on, and my sister-in-law had sold me to Yifang House.

But I didn’t tell him that the woman who served him tea and wine every night was that sister-in-law.

I told him I wanted to leave, that I wanted to buy my freedom.

But I didn’t tell him I had saved some money.

He held me and kissed my cheeks over and over. In the heat of the moment, he said, “Xiaoqiao, I’ll redeem you.”

“I’ll take you away. I’ll never let you suffer again.”

I believed him.

I thought two people who had lost their mothers could hold fast to one another from then on.