Chapter 7
It was beyond absurd—the sort of absurdity that came knocking on absurdity’s door and found itself at home.
Mother refused. “I’ve never failed to give you rice and pork every year as your due.”
Grandmother slapped the table. “What do you mean by that? Isn’t supporting me your duty?”
“If you won’t give me the money, are you planning to take it back to your own family again?”
“Yu Chunxiang, if you had kept Xiaoyao alive, I wouldn’t ask you for a cent. Jinbao is half a son to you now. You expect not to contribute to his house?”
Mother’s face collapsed.
It was always the same.
My brother’s early death was the wound in Mother’s heart, and the old woman stabbed it every time.
Father smoked. “Chunxiang, you said last time that if we let you visit your family, you’d turn over all your wages afterward.”
Mother looked even worse.
My anger nearly blew the top of my skull off.
I grabbed Mother. “Don’t agree. You can divorce Father if you have to.”
My aunt smiled thinly. “Tian Tian, your mother loves you most. She could never leave you.”
I gripped Mother’s hand. “Mother, I’ll go with you.”
I could hardly wait to begin a new life free of Father.
The old woman flew into a rage. “Dream on. Your surname is Tian. You belong to this family.”
“Let them divorce. You think I’m afraid of you?”
“If your mother dares, I’ll make a scene at the tea factory until she loses her job!”
“You’re almost fourteen. Once you finish middle school, you can work, and a couple of years later we’ll marry you off.”
Children were assumed to be the husband’s property then.
If he objected, a woman had no hope of taking her child.
And how many country people took a divorce fight to court?
The room was dim and suffocatingly hot.
Even my breath felt sticky.
Mother squeezed my hand, looked deeply into my eyes, and said softly, “No divorce. I can turn over my wages.”
“I’ll give them to Jianjia.”
Outside the room, I cried with anger and guilt.
“Mother, I’ll quit school and work. Then they can’t use me to tie you down.”
Her expression changed. “Be quiet!”
She rarely lost her temper. “What have I always told you? You must study.”
“When your grandfather died, I had no choice. I left school after third grade to raise my younger siblings.” Her voice caught. “If I’d had more education, I wouldn’t have…”
“Tian Tian, even if it costs me my life, I will put you through school. Make something of yourself, all right?”
After the break, I would enter my final year of middle school. I did not have much time.
For the first time, I understood that studying was not only for myself. It was for Mother too.
Only by becoming better and stronger, by rising higher and growing sturdier wings, could I stand with her against the storm.
I struggled with math, so Mother found me a free tutor.
She was Auntie Zhang, the accountant at the tea factory, who had once taught mathematics.
Her in-laws had pressured her into a second pregnancy, costing her teaching job.
The second baby turned out to be another girl. That and other troubles ended in divorce.
I studied day and night. Every day on the back of Mother’s bicycle, to school and home again, I memorized English words and classical poems.
The old woman mocked me for it.
“With your brain, you think you can get into County No. 1 High and then university?”
“What does a little girl need so much schooling for?”
Father always said, “Even if you get in, I won’t pay. Once you finish middle school, go out and work. I’ve suffered all my life. It’s time I enjoyed myself.”
“Save some money, find a man willing to marry into our family, and have a son.”