Chapter 5

After Liu Liang said that in the morning, I ignored him, nursing a bellyful of anger by myself.

What a foul thing to say—that my husband had betrayed me.

Such a sentence should not have caused me pain, yet nameless dread welled inside me.

As though it truly had happened.

I was no longer living in my own small palace. I had been moved into Liu Liang’s bedchambers, where everything inside and out was controlled by his trusted Jinwu Guards.

When I woke from a nap, His Majesty was bent over the desk reading memorials. Suppressing my unease, I hesitantly called, “Your Majesty, do you know where my husband is?”

His Majesty turned. Lamplight crackled, and a pair of phoenix eyes, quiet and dark as ink, rested on me.

“I do not,” he said.

I lowered my eyes and asked, “Is my husband dead?”

“No.”

My clenched hand loosened at once, and the weight hanging over my heart dropped away. I pressed my lips together. “That is good.”

“What is good about it?” His Majesty asked.

I looked up at him solemnly. “Life is cheap in a world at war. So many people rise healthy in the morning and are gone by nightfall. Even if my husband and I cannot be together, knowing he is alive is already the greatest blessing.”

It was embarrassing to admit such a thing, especially when I was His Majesty’s Noble Lady. After wavering, I asked, “You do not mind that my husband is in my heart, do you?”

Liu Liang stared at me. For an instant, it seemed he had a thousand things to say.

In the end, he only shook his head and turned his gaze away.

“I met your husband once before. Wanniang, he asked me to take good care of you.”

Relief filled me.

I knew I had forgotten many things.

But none of that mattered. As long as I knew my husband still thought of me and would come to find me,

I would keep living well.

Just as I was about to fall asleep again, I heard Liu Liang’s hoarse voice. “Zhao Wan, is your husband truly so good in your eyes?”

I answered without thinking. “My husband is the best man under heaven.”

My husband was the best man under heaven.

Without him, I would have thrown myself into the river long ago.

Yin County was remote and had escaped the worst ravages of war, but the local magnates held more power than the officials. My father and brothers had long ago been conscripted and killed. I was left alone with a few poor fields and several elderly servants. Knowing that my looks invited trouble, I never went out, yet trouble found me anyway. The Lin family’s second son intended to force me into becoming his concubine, and everyone beat gongs and drums as though I had received some tremendous honor.

In the Lin household, they said, I would have all the white rice I could eat and endless silk to wear. Though hunger had left me yellow-faced and thin, I still swore I would not go.

Young Master Lin laughed and pointed to a beggar beside him, beaten into a bloody pulp. “So the Lin family’s second young master is not good enough for you? Then I will arrange another marriage. Him or me, Zhao Wan. You choose.”

I chose the beggar. The Lin family’s second young master nearly toppled over with rage on the spot.

Gritting my teeth, I carried the man home on my back and married him without a matchmaker or betrothal gifts, not even knowing his name. Only after I washed his face did I discover that the beggar was remarkably handsome.

Unfortunately, his hands and feet had all been broken. Even his spine had not been spared.

He closed his eyes, the shadow of death still lingering across his features. I did not know how noble and pampered he had once been, or how he had fallen so far.

I asked him, “Do you want to live?”

I had almost fallen asleep waiting when a hoarse answer finally came. “I do.”

In that world of chaos, I wanted to live, and Yunnu wanted to live too.

I stayed beside him while his bones were reset and supported him as he learned to hold a brush and wield a sword again. I gambled my life alongside him.

Later, my husband treated me well too.

So very, very well.

I had drifted like duckweed until, at last, I had somewhere to take root.

One day, my husband asked, “Wanniang, if I held supreme power one day, what would you want?”

I stared blankly for a moment. “Then you must make sure everyone has enough to eat.”

Not merely enough to stay alive, but enough food and warm clothing.

My husband could do things far greater than loving me. I had always known that.