Chapter 3

And so, on a sunny afternoon, the three of us went shopping together.

There was a spring in my step. Next time I had to write an essay called “My Most Unforgettable Day,” I decided, I would describe this dreamlike scene in detail.

Lai Xue took us straight to a hair salon. She was a regular; the owner called to her as soon as he spotted her.

“Ah Xue, didn’t you just get your hair dyed a couple of days ago? Bored already?”

“Not me.” She pushed me forward. “Do hers.”

The owner gave me a curious look. “How old is this kid? Don’t mess around. Her parents will come after you if they find out.”

“Never mind that. Pick a color for her.”

He didn’t ask any more questions, just bent down to me. “What would you like, sweetheart?”

I shook my head. “Whatever my…”

I caught myself before saying “mom.”

Lai Xue didn’t like me calling her that. When I’d just started talking, I learned “Mommy” from a cartoon and tried it on her. Her face fell.

“Shut up. Who taught you that? Don’t call me that again.”

Duan Fei didn’t mind being called Dad, but often failed to respond. Once, when I was little and carrying a two-and-a-half-kilo bag of rice home, I saw him up ahead. I called “Dad” over and over, but he acted as though he couldn’t hear. Only when I called him by his full name did he whip around. He hurried over to take the rice, complaining, “I give you pocket money and you buy useless stuff? Do you know how many packets of instant noodles you could get for that?”

So “Dad” and “Mom,” like the words for my grandparents on either side, were terms I almost never used.

I scanned the color chart, then looked back at Lai Xue for her opinion.

She pointed at a vivid orange-red. “This? A bit more stylish, maybe?”

The owner looked horrified. “Isn’t that a little rebellious?”

“Rebellious is the point,” Lai Xue said firmly, turning to me. “Listen to me. You look hopelessly uncool.”

I nodded. “Okay.”

She paused, then shot Duan Fei a look that seemed to say there was hope for me yet.

“But I don’t think it’s rebellious enough,” I said.

“Oh?” Lai Xue studied the chart. “Some silver-white highlights too?”

I sat down in front of the mirror and spoke gravely. “All that flashy stuff is for silly little kids. It’s beneath me. I think I’m very mature for my age. I appreciate things that are deep, dark, misunderstood…”

“Oh, I know this speech. That’s exactly how I used to think.” Duan Fei clicked his tongue in admiration, leaning toward Lai Xue. “See? She did inherit some of the good stuff.”

Lai Xue handed me the chart. “Then which one do you want?”

“Like I said. Something unfathomably dark. A color that represents my despair and rebellion.”

Half an hour later, I stepped out of the salon looking fresh and tidy, my black hair newly trimmed.

Duan Fei and Lai Xue stared at my back in confusion. As they paid, they asked the owner, “Is this… rebellious?”

He scratched his head. “She does have a point.”

For our second stop, Lai Xue stepped up her efforts. She led us through streets and alleys to an inconspicuous little shop.

The walls were covered in so many tattoo designs I hardly knew where to look.

Lai Xue pushed me into a chair and said to the middle-aged man behind the desk, “Feng, brought you a new customer.”

Feng looked up at me, entirely unfazed. “What do you want?”

First, Lai Xue rolled up her sleeve to show the tattoo on her wrist: a ring of numbers.

“This was my first. The date my parents died. Not much use for inspiration.” Her face expressionless, she pushed her sleeve higher to reveal the tattoo on her upper arm. I knew it: the Chinese word for “innovation.” I’d asked her before why she’d chosen it. She’d vaguely said it was a good word, anyway.

Now she told the truth. “This was the second one. I had a crush on a boy called Yu Xin, so I tattooed his ‘Xin’—‘new.’ Then he cheated on me, so I changed it to this: ‘innovation.’”

A peculiar little smile crept onto my face at this juicy revelation.

Duan Fei glared at me, and I hastily wiped it off.

“But I don’t have a crush on anyone.”

“What a pain.” She patted Duan Fei beside her. “What was your first tattoo again?”

He thought, then displayed the blue-green dragon on his upper arm.

“Bullshit!” Lai Xue said. “We were already together when you got that.”

“Then I forget,” he said.

“I remember.” Feng wagged his head. “Lower back. He was just a little brat when he came in. Wanted the four characters for ‘All Hope Is Lost.’ I’d only finished the first one when he ran off because it hurt. Didn’t even pay.”

Duan Fei flushed scarlet. “I paid you the next time!”