Chapter 2

Over that year, I had pieced things together from my family’s conversations. The duchess and my mother were old friends. Gu Zhiyao had been such a lovely little girl that the duchess had wanted her for a daughter-in-law.

The two children grew up together and were very close. In the adults’ eyes, their eventual marriage was a certainty.

Gu Zhiyao had gone out with Xun Yang many times.

She always came home looking shy and radiant, like any woman deep in love.

I thought their affection was mutual.

His sudden demand to exchange brides tore away that pretty disguise and exposed what lay beneath.

I asked why he had changed his mind. How could he cast aside more than a decade of affection so heartlessly?

“Some people value years of affection,” Xun Yang said with a smile. “I happen to believe in love at first sight.”

Then he whispered in my ear, “They all take her side. I take yours. Isn’t that a good thing?”

No.

He had turned my peaceful life into a muddy mess and imagined he was saving me.

I slapped him.

For his frivolity.

For leaning in to whisper as though we knew each other well.

For making an already difficult position worse.

He touched his cheek. Rather than getting angry, he smiled.

“That makes me like you even more.”

“If I don’t like you, should I like some pretentious woman instead? She stole another girl’s identity, yet she still puts on that pitiful face and begs for sympathy. Shameless.”

Only much later, during an argument, did I learn what had happened.

Gu Zhiyao had noticed his impatience and dislike.

She told him the truth about the exchanged daughters, expecting him to pity her.

Instead, he seemed to see an opening to escape the marriage.

She had set the trouble in motion. I bore the consequences.

By the time I learned this, too much had changed. I could not confront her. I could only go on with my marriage.

Xun Yang discovered that marrying me had not transformed his life.

I was not as lively or interesting as he had imagined.

Nor had he become my great hero. I was not grateful for his supposed rescue from misery. I resented him for it.

We were fire and water.

A husband I could not get along with.

A mother-in-law who disliked me.

Married life was torment.

Yet I had chosen it myself.

After Xun Yang left, my parents went to the duke’s household to discuss the matter. If necessary, they would break off the betrothal altogether.

But Xun Yang insisted on marrying me.

The courteous young gentleman of old had vanished. In his place stood someone stubborn, obstinate, impossible to reason with.

“Either I marry her, or I never marry at all. Decide for yourselves.”

The duke broke a stick beating him.

The duchess wept and called it a curse.

Everyone said I had bewitched him.

For the first time in her life, Gu Zhiyao lost her temper with me. She cursed me through her tears.

“Are you satisfied now?”

“You said you wouldn’t fight me for anything, but you’ve taken every advantage in the end.”

“You’ve won. Happy?”

She wept bitterly.

My brother said nothing.

I looked around. No one stood with me.

Suddenly I remembered Xun Yang’s words.

“They all take her side. I take yours. Isn’t that a good thing?”

I had thought he misunderstood. Now I saw that nothing had ever forced them to choose before.

When they did have to choose, they would stand with Gu Zhiyao.

Our ten fingers aren’t all the same length.

One year together could not compare with more than ten.

They would naturally take her side. They had spent so many years raising her; no one could change what that meant to them.

Would my adoptive parents have stood with me?

I could no longer ask.

Grief spilled through me like sour plum juice, soaking into every limb, tightening my throat and stinging my eyes.

Everyone else could give up on me. I could not give up on myself.

Everyone else could remain silent. I had to speak for myself.

If I did not, no one in the world would.

My voice was bitter.

“Can’t keep up the act anymore?”

“You tell me how guilty you feel, how much you love me as a sister, yet the moment something happens, you blame me first.”

“You’ve known Xun Yang for so long. Are you really saying you never noticed his feelings changing?”

“You dare blame me, but you don’t dare blame him.”

“Because he’s a duke’s heir. He’s too grand, too dangerous to offend. So you blame me instead. You come after me.”

“Because I have no one behind me. No one to protect me.”

“You coward! You only bully people who can’t fight back.”

Gu Zhiyao looked up.

“Don’t slander me and make yourself sound so pitiful.”

“You have parents, a brother, a sister. None of us has mistreated you.”

“Your mistake was stealing your sister’s husband.”

“You were so certain about those three conditions when you arrived. What have you done since?”

“You’re the hypocrite. You’re the schemer.”

I gave a cold laugh.

“Yes, I have parents, a brother, a sister. But which of them is standing behind me?”

“Since this began, has anyone said one fair word for me?”

“Brother, have you?”

“Father, have you?”

“Mother, have you?”

My answer was a hard slap from my brother.

He was beside himself with rage.

“How dare you!”

“The Gu family has no daughter so arrogant, so insolent toward her elders!”