Chapter 4

My aunt’s return caused quite a stir. For several days, everyone in the village was gossiping about our family.

Nobody cared more about appearances than Grandma, but she was unafraid now. She strutted around the village as usual.

“My youngest came back and gave me twenty or thirty thousand yuan. I almost felt bad taking it. A mother is a mother, after all. She couldn’t bear to cut me off. Some people needn’t trouble themselves over us.”

At first the villagers didn’t believe her, so Grandma buttonholed them and recounted that evening, her face glowing. With plenty of exaggeration, of course.

She even declared that my aunt was a changed woman and would send her money every month, seeing to her old age as a good daughter should.

She imagined all that, yet never wondered whether her youngest daughter was struggling out there, or whether she was happy.

But her smile soon vanished.

She discovered that my aunt had disappeared again.

The phone number she’d left was fake. It wouldn’t connect.

And no more money arrived.

So Grandma went back to cursing her. “Ungrateful daughter! You heartless little beast! May a car run you over! May your baby be born without an arsehole!”

I couldn’t understand how a mother could hate her daughter that much.

But in unhappy families, it seemed perfectly normal. In ours, for instance.

As time passed, I grew old enough to move on from primary school to middle school.

People in the village didn’t believe much in educating girls. But nine years of compulsory schooling was a firm requirement, so my parents didn’t object.

Then I did extremely well in the exams, placing among the best in the county. The headmaster said the middle school in town might hold me back and hoped I would go to school in the city.

He came to our house three separate times about it.

“Rong Panpan is one of the most gifted children this village has seen in years. She’s intelligent and quick to understand. If you’re willing to invest in her education, she’ll go far.”

He pleaded with them, but my parents didn’t really understand.

One had finished middle school; the other, primary school. They had farmed all their lives. They knew education mattered. What they didn’t understand was why it mattered for a girl.

Mom kept shelling beans. “Headmaster, you’re joking, aren’t you? A girl can go to any middle school and then start working. Why send her all that way to the city?”

The headmaster grew anxious. “I wouldn’t insist like this for just anyone. But Panpan is exceptionally bright. She learns anything you teach her. With her mind, if she goes to university, she’ll earn far more than she ever could in a factory.”

At the mention of money, my parents’ expressions finally changed.

“How much more?”

The headmaster held up five fingers. “My niece went to a teachers’ university. She teaches at the city’s No. 1 Middle School now. Five thousand a month, and that doesn’t include bonuses or allowances.”

My parents both gasped.

At the time, our entire family earned less than two thousand a month.

The headmaster said that if I wanted to go, he could use his connections to arrange for me to take the school’s own entrance exam. With my ability, it shouldn’t be a problem. If I ranked highly enough, I could apply for a tuition waiver.

That finally persuaded my parents. They went to discuss it with Grandma that very night.

I barely slept, thinking this might change my future. I was excited and nervous in equal measure.

But after I waited all night, their answer was no.

Because Grandma wouldn’t allow it.

Her ideas were even more backward than my parents’. She thought the headmaster was fooling her. Schooling wouldn’t get a girl anywhere.

At first, I didn’t think this was an impossible obstacle.

Since everyone obeyed Grandma, I just had to find a way to convince her.

Then I overheard her saying,

“If she’s clever, won’t Huihui be even cleverer? He’s a boy. Put all your effort into him and let him make the big money.”

“As for Panpan, she can start working after middle school. You can earn a few thousand a month in a garment factory, can’t you? Why waste money sending her to a good school?”

The blood in my veins seemed to turn to ice.

So that was what she had in mind.

And my own mother and father agreed.