Chapter 5

There was a deadly herb in the Turkic lands. Lin Jingfeng made it into incense and gave it to me.

Once burned, it left only ordinary-looking plant ash. Even a silver needle would reveal nothing amiss.

I mixed it into the monthly supplies allotted to the inner palace and let the unsuspecting attendants deliver it to the Fourth Prince’s residence.

Everyone in the palace knew he liked to burn incense at night. As he slept, the poison in the herbs would spread through the air, lulling him to sleep night after night, seeping into his blood and bones.

When news came that he was failing, I made a special visit to the cold palace.

Dressed entirely in red, I went to bring Consort Yuan tidings of death.

She glared at me venomously, but Peirou held her fast. She could not move.

“When you harmed my mother,” I asked, “did you ever think of retribution?”

Over and over, in a hoarse voice, she said, “Xie Ling, he’s your brother. He knows nothing. Spare him. Spare him!”

I smiled. “Yes, he is my brother. But his mother is worse than an animal.”

She knelt, knocking her forehead against the floor again and again. “Spare him! Spare him!”

I set a cup of poisoned wine before her and smiled gently. “You die, or he does. Choose.”

She hesitated.

“If Ah Qi had never been born,” I said slowly, “my fourth brother could have become crown prince. As his mother, you would naturally have escaped any serious punishment. What a clever scheme—two lives extinguished for his sake. Such boundless maternal love. Why, then, are you unwilling to trade your life for his today?”

I leaned closer, my voice icy. “Or are you still dreaming of becoming empress dowager?”

She stared at me and slowly lifted the cup. Gritting her teeth, she drained it.

Blood began to seep from the corner of her mouth. Her gaze clung to me. Rasping sounds came from her throat, but she could no longer speak.

I crouched before her and smiled. “The road to the underworld is lonely. I’ll send my fourth brother to keep you company. Remember: you brought all of this upon yourself.”

She stared, her pupils shrinking to points, more venomous than a snake.

My show of strength lasted only until her final breath.

Once outside the cold palace, I could barely walk.

All I could see were her black, needle-point pupils.

Peirou supported me, her voice choked. “Your Highness, I could have done this for you. You needn’t have put yourself through it.”

I clutched my chest and vomited.

I had killed someone. My hands were no longer clean.

And in the days to come, there would only be more blood on them.

I knew that every step toward the dragon throne lay upon the bones of the dead.

All my brother needed to do was take that supreme seat with clean hands.

Leave the rest to me.

In the first month of the twentieth year of Jinghe, the Fourth Prince died.

When the news reached Grandfather’s residence, I raised a finger to my lips. “Don’t disturb Grandfather.”

Since the war against the Turks, he had spent almost all his time asleep. On the rare occasions when he woke, I was always elsewhere.

I turned and found his eyes open. I did not know when he had awakened.

“Ah Ling.”

I crouched beside his bed as I had when I was little. “I’m here, Grandfather.”

He coughed a few times. His voice held a little regret. “What a pity. I won’t get to see you married.”

My nose stung. “Of course you will. You’ll see a whole house full of my children and grandchildren.”

He smiled. “You’ve grown thin.”

“I eat two bowls of rice at every meal.”

He reached out to tap my nose. “Little liar.”

“Is your mother recovering well from the birth?” he asked. “Does Ah Qi fuss much?”

I almost began to cry.

He did not know Mother was dead. Everyone in the household had kept it from him.

“Everything is well. She keeps saying she’d come to see you if Father weren’t watching her so closely.”

His eyes slowly closed, his voice drifting away. “Tell her not to come. I don’t want her catching anything…”

He had fallen asleep again.

For a long time, I could not move. Tear after tear soaked my collar.

The plum trees at the residence had bloomed, their centers pale yellow, their petals snow white.

I rose on tiptoe to break off a branch, and the snow on its blossoms fell onto my head.

I bowed my head. “Peirou, come and help me.”

Black boots entered my field of vision. Someone brushed the snow from my hair with a gentle hand.

I looked up.

Lin Jingfeng.

He had grown taller still and still liked to dress entirely in black.

He studied me. “You’ve grown thin, Your Highness.”

Grandfather had said the very same thing.

But with Lin Jingfeng, I could tell the truth.

“I have nightmares every night.”

I dreamed of Consort Yuan. Of the Fourth Prince.

How ridiculous. In waking life, I had never feared them.

But in my dreams I was alone, able only to scream and flee in terror.

“Lin Jingfeng, you’ve killed so many people. Are you frightened when you wake at night?”

Instead of answering, he asked, “Are you frightened, Your Highness?”

I lowered my head so he could not see my expression. “Yes. Almost to death. But I can’t let anyone see it. I have to command respect. Only then can I keep Ah Ling and Ah Qi from being bullied and hold Grandfather’s household together.”

He tilted my face up, his thumb brushing gently across the corner of my eye. “Don’t cry.”