Chapter 4

Three great events shook the inner palace in the eleventh month of the nineteenth year of Jinghe.

On the twenty-seventh, the emperor’s sixth son was born and given the name Qi.

On the twenty-eighth, Consort Lin died. She was posthumously honored as Empress Yishan.

On the twenty-eighth, Consort Yuan was stripped of her rank and confined to the cold palace.

In the early winter of my fourteenth year, I lost my mother.

Consort Yuan’s curses had so distressed her that she went into premature labor and hemorrhaged to death.

Father’s fury was terrible. Even the Fourth Prince, Consort Yuan’s son, became hateful to him.

He had few children. His first sons had all died before the age of ten; only the Fourth Prince and Ah Ling had survived childhood.

Ah Ling had asthma. The Fourth Prince was neither virtuous nor clever. Father placed his hopes in Ah Qi, the reincarnation of Ziwei, the imperial star.

Ah Qi was my new little brother, a brother who smiled at everyone.

Everyone who saw him praised the Sixth Prince’s calm, composed features and said he had the bearing of an emperor.

“Do you know, Sister?” Ah Ling said. “The people praising Ah Qi now are the very same people who joined in kicking Linyu Palace while we were down.”

They had trampled on Linyu Palace for the sake of the crown prince’s position.

They praised Ah Qi for that same position.

I tucked in Ah Ling’s quilt. “Do you want to be emperor?”

He started and began coughing again. The moment he caught his breath, he said, “No!”

I smiled. “But until we stand at the very top, we will have to live in fear. Only absolute power commands absolute submission. Ah Ling, one of you must become emperor—you or Ah Qi.”

He groaned and buried his head beneath the quilt. “You be emperor. You can have my turn.”

I thumped him through the covers. “Take your medicine properly. I’m going now.”

Snow lay deep in the palace. Carriage tracks led all the way to Grandfather’s gate.

Though gravely wounded in the war, Grandfather had still retaken our cities. Lin Jingfeng had led his light cavalry deep into enemy territory and seized the Turkic king’s favorite younger son, forcing the king to surrender cities in exchange for him.

“Do you know why your mother was posthumously made empress?” Peirou asked.

Why?

Lin Jingfeng’s service had earned him the rank and rewards of a great general.

But there was no higher honor left to bestow upon the Marquis of Zhongyong. Instead, Father had given the Lin family’s grandsons the distinction of being sons of an empress.

I held Grandfather’s aged hand and watched him sleeping. Then I opened the door and went outside.

A pear tree stood in the courtyard, its branches bearing no blossoms, only snow.

Late last spring, I had still been a carefree princess. When I met the boy I loved, I had told him without fear.

This early spring, I sat alone beneath the tree. Ah Ling was not beside me, and Mother was no longer behind me.

I thought I must have grown up. That struggle in the inner palace, paid for with death, had made me desperate for power.

The flutter of first love beneath the pear tree seemed a very distant thing.

Footsteps crunched in the snow.

Lin Jingfeng.

Desert wind and sand, the stars and moon of bitter nights, had honed him to a sharper edge. Having fought through blood, he now carried himself like a man who commanded thousands.

He sat opposite me and watched me silently. There was no longer contempt in his gaze, but the pity of someone who recognized his own suffering in another.

After a long while, he said, “I’m sorry for your loss, Your Highness.”

“Have you avenged your family, Lin Jingfeng?”

He nodded. Each word tasted of blood. “A hundred times over.”

“Then can you keep your promise now?”

He said nothing, only looked steadily at me with his deep, mist-veiled eyes.

I smiled. “Of course. My grandfather has little time left, while your power is at its height. It’s only natural that you should refuse.”

I rose to leave, but my foot slipped. Lin Jingfeng caught me.

For the first time, he touched me and did not let go.

“I will follow you, Your Highness, and remain faithful all my life.”

I turned to him. “Lin Jingfeng, I want revenge.”

“Very well.”

“I want the Fourth Prince dead.”

He looked at me in silence. “Very well.”

“And I want my brother on the throne.”

Without speaking, he reached out and stroked the top of my head.

I stepped back, watching him warily.

He sighed. “A girl shouldn’t have to carry such a burden, Your Highness.”

My tears spilled at once. Ashamed, I hurried to wipe them away with my handkerchief.

But my fingers shook and I dropped it into the snow. As I crouched to retrieve it, Lin Jingfeng caught me and drew me against his chest.

In that frozen world, whose arms were so warm? Whose heart beat like a drum? Who had made a little shelter for me, to dry my tears and spare my heart?

And who was it who gently but firmly pushed him away, smiling through her tears? “Lin Jingfeng, I have my own road to walk. No one can walk it for me.”