Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Beauty Lin disliked drawing attention to herself. After she was summoned to serve the bedchamber a few more times, she claimed to be ill and had her name tablet withdrawn.

This illness ended up lasting a very long time.

Imperial Father seemed to have forgotten her as well. He never asked after her again.

Beauty Lin and I returned to our quiet little days. No one disturbed us, and we did not have to pay any price for it. Life went on, neither salty nor bland.

One day, we began learning how to write essays, and one of mine earned the Grand Tutor’s praise.

It just so happened that Imperial Father paid an unexpected visit to test the princes on their studies. After hearing about it, he took my essay, skimmed it for a few moments, then looked at me.

He said, “You have grown this much already. Who is raising you now?”

My heart lurched. Reluctantly, I answered, “Beauty Lin.”

Imperial Father gave a soft sound of acknowledgment, his eyes full of reminiscence. Who knew who he was thinking of?

After lessons ended, Imperial Father followed me back to see Beauty Lin.

He strode ahead in high spirits, while I trailed behind listlessly.

When he saw Beauty Lin, Imperial Father’s eyes filled with approval.

“You have raised her very well.”

Beauty Lin thanked him with a smile.

Beauty Liu, standing nearby, hurriedly took over the conversation. “The Sixth Princess is so well-behaved and sensible. She has brought so much joy to our courtyard. Why, there was one year when the Sixth Princess fell ill in the middle of the night, and Beauty Lin was so worried…”

Beauty Liu used every trick she had and drew all of Imperial Father’s attention to herself.

I stole a glance at Beauty Lin and whispered, “I’m sorry. I didn’t expect him to come to the imperial study.”

Beauty Lin burst out laughing and tapped a finger against my forehead. “Nonsense. He is your Imperial Father. You ought to be more respectful.”

He wasn’t.

He had caused Imperial Mother Consort’s death.

I hated him.

I lowered my head and said nothing.

I had never forgotten Imperial Mother Consort’s words before she died.

She said she had been wronged.

She said, “Qilang, go investigate it. As long as you investigate, you can clear my name. Go investigate it.”

But her Qilang did not believe her.

She died with hatred in her heart, carrying a grievance to the grave.

I could not forget it.

In the end, Beauty Liu failed to keep Imperial Father, though she clearly had not had enough.

She waited excitedly for that evening, only to learn that Imperial Father had once again chosen Beauty Lin’s name tablet.

That night, the way she looked at Beauty Lin was as if she wanted to devour her alive.

I found her somewhat detestable, but I also felt a faint trace of pity for her.

By then, I had read Buddhist scriptures and already knew that life held eight sufferings: birth, old age, sickness, death, separation from those one loves, meeting those one hates, being unable to obtain what one desires, and the raging of the five aggregates.

Hers was probably being unable to obtain what she desired.

Not long after, Beauty Liu also received favor.

That day, she was overjoyed. She washed and dressed herself, burned incense and bathed, then left the residence amid a string of laughter.

When she returned that evening, she made sure everyone knew.

I was woken by the noise and felt rather irritated.

Beauty Lin came quickly to my room and gently patted me, coaxing me back to sleep.

“Sleep. It is nothing important.”

Fine.

It really was nothing important.

Beauty Liu made a show of herself for three days, then quieted down.

Because afterward, Imperial Father never thought of her again. Compared with the other consorts who served him for the first time, she received the fewest rewards.

One day, when we went to pay our respects to the Empress, Consort Gong mocked her without the slightest courtesy:

“So this is Beauty Liu. She does have some looks, but what a pity-she talks too much and lacks the virtuous gentleness and quiet dignity expected of a woman. You would do better to learn from Beauty Lin, who lives in the same palace as you. Learn what it means to be serene and graceful, and how to make His Majesty think of you again and again.”

It was an obvious attempt to sow discord and use someone else’s hand as a knife.

Yet Beauty Liu seemed to take it seriously.

She withered rapidly, becoming haggard and wan. When she heard the news that Beauty Lin was pregnant, jealousy all but poured from her eyes.

The senior matron in charge told everyone to be careful and not fall into Beauty Liu’s traps. Everyone became cautious.

I felt a little more at ease, too.

I was looking forward to this child very much.

I had heard people say that if a husband and wife had difficulty conceiving, they could adopt a child from someone else, and before long, they would have a child of their own.

I kept that saying in my heart. Somehow, I always felt that the child in Beauty Lin’s belly had a faint connection to me, arranged by forces unseen.