Chapter 4

Chapter 4

That day, several dolls really were found inside Shunyi Palace. Needles had been stuck into them, and words had been written on them-among them the names of several high-ranking consorts.

The entire palace was furious. The Empress flew into a rage.

After that, I never saw Consort Shun again.

A few days later, I heard that Consort Shun had been stripped of her title and sent to the Cold Palace.

I smiled without a sound. This time, whose hands would I fall into?

I touched my own palm. It was so small, so soft, so weak.

When would I finally grow up? When would I be able to hold my fate firmly in my own hands?

I clenched my fingers tight, but my heart was filled with helplessness.

Before long, the Empress summoned me.

Her chambers were thick with the smell of medicine. After she finished drinking her dose, she looked at me and said mildly, “You are a child with ideas of your own.”

My heart pounded violently. I lowered my head and did not want to say a single word.

After a long while, the Empress spoke again. “The foster mothers I chose for you were all childless. I originally thought that, since they had no children of their own, perhaps taking you in might bring them a younger son or daughter. What a pity. In the end, they were not blessed with that fortune. This time, you may choose your foster mother yourself.”

An old nanny placed a long register of consorts and concubines into my hands.

Imperial Father could not be considered a man obsessed with beauty, but even so, there were more than thirty beauties in his palace.

Many of these beauties longed for even one night of his favor.

Yet perhaps many of them, even by the day they died, would never have seen the sovereign’s face.

Take Beauty Lin, for instance. Had she ever seen Imperial Father even now?

My gaze fell on Beauty Lin’s entry in the register, and only then did I learn that her real name was Lin Yizhen.

The Empress said, “Then let it be Beauty Lin.”

For a moment, I was stunned. Then I lowered my head and thanked her for her grace.

When I left the Empress’s palace, I accidentally took a fall. I sat up and looked at my knee, delaying for a little while, and so I overheard the Empress and her nanny speaking in the inner hall.

The nanny said, “Your Majesty, why must you be so kind to her? If not for her mother, you would not have lost your child, nor would you have had to take medicine all these years. And now you have changed foster mothers for her again and again. You truly are too softhearted.”

The Empress gave a light cough and said, “The affairs of adults should not be visited upon a child. Children in this palace are already difficult enough to raise. She is one with a hard fate; there is no need to torment her further. Her Imperial Mother Consort must be watching over her from heaven.”

I settled down in Beauty Lin’s palace.

Beauty Lin was a quiet but interesting person.

She always managed to find joy in even the most shabby days.

Most of the fabric sent by the Imperial Household Department came in old-fashioned colors. She found a bolt in a lighter shade, mixed and matched it with the others, and made me clothes, shoes, and socks.

When I appeared before everyone looking completely renewed, I received many compliments.

The palace maids flattered me.

“Our Sixth Princess is already so beautiful at such a young age. Who knows which family’s young master will be lucky enough to have her in the future?”

Beauty Lin rebuked them gently. “Do not speak nonsense. The Sixth Princess is still a child. What she ought to do now is study, learn, and become a proper princess.”

In Beauty Lin’s heart, she had her own ideas of what a princess should be like.

I was already eight years old, yet I had not even begun my schooling.

The princes and princesses around my age had long since started reading.

Beauty Lin disliked going out, and she disliked making things even more.

But for the sake of my studies, she personally went to the Imperial Kitchen to stew soup, carried it to Her Majesty the Empress, and obtained for me the grace to study together with the other princesses.

She sewed me a school satchel and happily sent me off to class.

By dusk, I returned in high spirits, but Beauty Lin was nowhere to be seen.

The palace maids in her palace said excitedly, “Today, His Majesty turned over Beauty Lin’s tablet and summoned her to serve him in bed. Beauty Lin is finally going to rise in the world.”

My heart went cold. The small joy I had felt at being able to study vanished without a trace.

All at once, I seemed to understand what price Beauty Lin had paid so that I could study.

That night, in the middle of the night, Beauty Lin was sent back.

In the darkness, I listened to their hushed movements.

Everyone was congratulating Beauty Lin, but I heard the muffled groans she was trying to endure.

In the middle of the night, I went barefoot to her chamber. She had not yet fallen asleep. Hearing movement, she rose and draped on a robe. When she saw clearly that it was me, she asked, “Sixth Princess, what is it?”

I did not know what to say. All I could manage was, “I have medicine here.”

In my hand was a bottle of ointment, the same kind she had once applied for me.

Beauty Lin smiled a little. “Ah Zheng, you are so good.”

She did not call me Sixth Princess. She called me Ah Zheng.

Something scorching seemed to surge up in my chest, as though it were about to burst out. But in the end, all I said was, “I don’t have to study.”

Beauty Lin froze for a moment, then smiled.

She said, “Ah Zheng, come here. Let me hold you.”

Reluctantly, I walked forward. Reluctantly, I let her gather me into her arms. Reluctantly, my eyes grew wet…

From then on, Cuiwei Palace became a little livelier. His Majesty and the Empress bestowed rewards one after another, and even the things delivered by the Imperial Household Department were no longer the leftovers picked over by others. We could now choose from the front.

But every time, Beauty Lin only took what fell within her own allotment. She did not try to stand out, nor did she sink into vulgarity.

She had her own rules for survival.

Beauty Liu, who lived in the same palace, was different from her.

At first, she was still able to flatter Beauty Lin, thanking her openly and graciously for the gifts Beauty Lin shared with her.

But once, I saw her yanking at flowers with a twisted, savage expression, as if some enormous resentment inside her had nowhere to go and she could only take it out on things weaker than herself.

Yet in the next moment, when she saw Beauty Lin, her face was all smiles again.

I always had the feeling that she was very much like the former Consort Zhao and Consort Shun. They were all the same sort of people, with honey on their tongues and knives hidden in their hearts.

I did not like her.

That very night, I fell ill and said I had been frightened by Beauty Liu.

When Beauty Lin asked, she learned about Beauty Liu tearing at the flowers in the courtyard.

Beauty Lin was a clever person. With only a moment’s thought, she understood.

From then on, she and Beauty Liu became mere nodding acquaintances.