Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Madam Wei put together an entire table of dishes to welcome me home.

She tugged me aside and said in a low voice, “Tianjiao, don’t you worry. I’ve already given Yunlan a talking-to. In this household, you’re still the one in charge. I told Wei Zhao to win Yunlan over and coax all Yunlan’s money into our hands. Of course, we won’t mistreat Yunlan either.”

I had always thought Madam Wei was quite the talent.

She was a butcher’s daughter, widowed at a young age.

Originally, the Wei clan had wanted to take back the family’s money and property.

Madam Wei had grabbed a blood-dripping pig-slaughtering knife, gone to the Wei clan’s gate, and butchered a pig without the slightest change in expression.

When someone passed by, she would lift her head and grin. “Want to bully a widow and her orphan? Then let’s see if your heads are harder than a pig’s.”

And just like that, she kept the money and house her late husband had left behind.

Wei Zhao had been a pretty little jade doll since childhood, and once he grew up, he became an even more handsome young man with peach-blossom eyes and rosy cheeks.

There were plenty of women outside who wanted to marry into the family.

Madam Wei thought it over and decided that wouldn’t do!

Her son was all looks and no use. If he married some delicate, weak wife, how would they live?

That was why she took a liking to me.

Madam Wei said that I had fled here alone as a child refugee.

And after surviving so many years in the chaotic melting pot of Dingzhou, I must have something special about me.

She spent silver to send me to a martial arts school to learn fighting, and to an academy to study.

She had planned it all out from the start: I would go to war in Wei Zhao’s place and earn merit and glory.

Madam Wei had been holding in a breath of resentment all these years!

The Wei clan had always looked down on mother and son.

She was single-mindedly determined that I would restore the Wei family’s prestige.

Madam Wei had made a bold declaration: “Go out there and make your way! Wei Zhao will follow you with all his heart!”

Well, I did come back alive.

But looking at Xie Yunlan and Wang Lingyue, I felt downright melancholy.

Xie Yunlan had a black heart. He would play Wei Zhao, that sweet little idiot, to death.

Xie Yunlan ladled me a bowl of soup and said calmly, “I am already aware of the situation at home. Outside, you are the head of the household. Inside, you are the mistress of the household. Please rest assured, family head. I will raise the child well and manage the household properly.”

Every other word out of his mouth was “family head.” It made my skull ache.

He had clearly made up his mind to entangle himself with me to the bitter end.

Wei Zhao said in satisfaction, “When Tianjiao is well, this household is well. Yunlan, you have a very good attitude.”

Heh. I was in despair.

Under the table, I felt Xie Yunlan’s calf brush against mine.

But Wei Zhao just had to be restless too, resting one hand on my thigh.

I didn’t dare move. I really didn’t dare move at all.

Then Madam Wei dropped an earth-shattering piece of news.

She said decisively, “Tianjiao! I’ve sold everything in the house that could be sold and had someone purchase a residence in the capital. When you go to the capital to report for duty, we’ll all go together.”

Where did our family get that much money?!

Residences in the capital were famously expensive.

A few friends of mine in the army had spent years scraping by and could only afford tiny houses.

Yunlan said calmly, “It was bought with my dowry.”

I fell silent.

Now we were done for!

Madam Wei and Wei Zhao had already spent someone else’s money. If I drove Yunlan away now, I would look like an utter scumbag.

Wei Zhao said, “Tianjiao, Yunlan also gave me an idea. If the matter of you disguising yourself as a man to join the army ever gets exposed, it’s a capital crime. Once we reach the capital, we’ll tell everyone Yunlan is your concubine. That way, it’ll be easier to keep up appearances.”

After he finished, he looked at Xie Yunlan and smiled. “I never expected Yunlan to seem so aloof, yet actually be so considerate.”

Xie Yunlan said meaningfully, “It is only what I should do. Given enough time, the family head will naturally come to know my sincerity.”

Wang Lingyue, who had been eating with her head down, suddenly burst out laughing.

She lifted her head and said with an innocent look, “Wow! Our family is so interesting. Father isn’t Father, and Mother isn’t Mother. No, wait-Father is also Mother, and Mother is also Father!”

You little brat. Asking for a beating, are you?

I grabbed a bun and stuffed it into her mouth.

Heh. With Wei Zhao’s level of intelligence, he really would help count the money after being sold.

He thought he had successfully charmed Xie Yunlan, making him cough up his money, his heart, and his very soul.

But if one day those two took off their pants and faced each other…

Would Wei Zhao end up sobbing as he asked, “How do you have a dick?! Aren’t you supposed to be my concubine?”

I couldn’t help dropping him a hint, guiding him patiently. “Wei Zhao, if there are women in this world who disguise themselves as men, then there must also be men who disguise themselves as women. Sometimes, you can’t trust what a pretty woman says. Think about it-if someone bares their heart to you the moment they meet you, why would that be?”

Wei Zhao’s eyes lit up.

I looked at him encouragingly. Think it through!

Say it!

Expose Xie Yunlan for what he really is!

Wei Zhao blurted out, “How did I not think of that? I can disguise myself as a woman and go to the capital with you! That way, the two of us can live intimately together, and no one else will suspect a thing!”

A question mark popped up in my head.

That wasn’t right, was it?

Madam Wei exclaimed in admiration, “My son truly is clever!”

Wei Zhao and Madam Wei were both the type to act the moment an idea came to them.

They immediately went out to discuss exactly how to do it.

Xie Yunlan drank his soup with elegant composure and smiled softly at me. “Wang Tianjiao, you could have exposed my identity in front of Wei Zhao just now. So why didn’t you?”

His fingers brushed across my cheek, a little ticklish.

Xie Yunlan said, enunciating each word, “Admit it. Deep down, you want to have one on each arm and enjoy the blessings of both.”

I sat up straight and declared with righteous dignity, “Don’t talk nonsense. I’m not that kind of person! My heart is open and aboveboard, perfectly innocent!”

I was an upright gentleman. If anyone insisted otherwise, then they had forced me into it!

Wang Lingyue gnawed on a chicken drumstick, her mouth shiny with grease. “Dad, being lustful isn’t exactly a flaw. Back when we were in the northwest, didn’t you often go to the taverns to watch the courtesans play the qin and sing?”

Xie Yunlan actually defended me for once. “Your father did that to look after his fallen comrades’ widows.”

I coughed twice and said nothing. Xie Yunlan really was sharp as a ghost. He knew everything.

Wei Zhao came back too, brimming with confidence. “Wang Tianjiao, I think disguising myself as a woman will work! Once you get to the capital, you’ll definitely need someone to help you socialize. Yunlan and I can join hands to manage your inner household for you. We guarantee your official career will flourish.”

I thought, You can forget about that.

I had been raised as a man since childhood, and I was taller and broader than most ordinary women.

After five years in the army, I had been soaked through with masculine habits. Nothing about my speech or mannerisms would make people suspicious.

As for Xie Yunlan…

According to him, he had been raised as a girl since he was young.

Supposedly, it was to pray for blessings for his family.

At the time, I had cursed, What kind of damn family is that? May they die early and reincarnate sooner.

Making a perfectly fine boy live as a girl-no decent human being could have come up with such an idea.

Xie Yunlan had only smiled when he heard it.

In short, Xie Yunlan was also used to dressing as a woman.

Though he was a man in women’s clothing, he didn’t have any powdery affectation about him.

Wei Zhao? He should stop adding to the chaos.

I spouted some nonsense offhandedly. “There’s no need for you to dress as a woman. My brothers in the army all know I’m gay.”

For some reason, Wei Zhao’s mind suddenly turned razor-sharp.

He asked me in return, “Oh? What did you do in the northwest for people to think that?”

I immediately pretended to be deaf and mute. That cleverness of his really showed up in all the wrong places!

Just then, a sudden commotion came from outside.

Wang Lingyue loved excitement and shot out like a rabbit.

We went out to take a look.

Imperial Guards sat astride tall horses, flanking both sides.

A carriage bearing an imperial-yellow banner had stopped at the mouth of the alley.

A eunuch stepped down.

The surrounding air instantly took on a solemn atmosphere.

The eunuch looked at me and smiled. “This one first congratulates Commandant Wang. Receive the decree.”

By the time the eunuch finished reading the imperial decree, everyone around us was stunned.

“What! The Wei family’s adopted son is going to the capital to become the Prince Consort!”

“Wang Tianjiao? What makes him worthy?”

I held the imperial decree in my hands.

When I turned my head, I saw Wei Zhao’s face had gone as white as paper.

Xie Yunlan was frowning, lost in thought.

Madam Wei’s knees went weak. She grabbed my hand and murmured, “Bodhisattva above! I really did bet on the right horse! Wang Tianjiao has made it big!”

Wei Zhao, however, asked in a daze, “If she goes to become the Prince Consort, then what about me? Will the princess tolerate me?”