Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Next, the two ducks entered a long period of cold war.

One went to the beauty salon every day to complain about her husband to the owner.

The other was in heat every day, asking me out over twenty times in just three days.

One moment he wanted to come over to my place, the next he wanted to walk in the park, and then he’d ask me to accompany him for a drink.

One minute he was saying, “Girl, you’ve broken this old man’s heart. I’m leaving your world for good.”

The next, he had total amnesia, asking if I wanted to go to the woods with him that night to “discuss our life goals.”

I was playing three roles at once. I had to act as a rich second-generation heir with terrible taste, sending flowers and food delivery every day; I had to endure Mr. Duck’s sexual harassment while playing mind games with him.

And then, after school, Little Duck would secretly find me to play Honor of Kings.

After a week, Mrs. Duck already felt that Mr. Duck was beneath her. She wouldn’t marry anyone less than the Crown Prince of the UAE.

Meanwhile, Mr. Duck felt he was exceptionally charming, believing he could make a female college student swoon with just a beckon of his finger.

It was time to close the net.

This day happened to be May 20th.

I asked Mr. Duck to order a bouquet of flowers and have them delivered to me, promising him a surprise.

The florist’s owner once again sent a photo of Mr. Duck buying flowers to the beauty salon owner.

The salon owner showed the photo to Mrs. Duck and said, “Look, he’s preparing to apologize and please you. Like I said, men need to feel a sense of crisis.”

Mrs. Duck was incredibly smug, letting out a laugh that sounded like a dying duck.

She took the opportunity to invite her sisters over for dinner to witness her happiness together.

The salon owner, of course, readily agreed.

That evening, Mr. Duck came home from work and spent ages fussing over himself in the bathroom.

Mrs. Duck was in the living room chatting with her sisters. She pretended to gossip for a long time, but when Mr. Duck didn’t come out, she started getting anxious.

So, the salon owner shouted toward the bathroom, “Brother-in-law, bring the flowers out already! We’ve all seen them!”

Mr. Duck froze. The sound of the hairdryer stopped.

“Wh-what flowers? When did I buy flowers?”

The salon owner said, “How romantic, trying to give her a surprise. I’m so jealous of you, Sis.”

Mrs. Duck added, “At least he’s showing some effort.”

I couldn’t see Mrs. Duck’s expression, but I could tell from her tone that she was beaming.

Mr. Duck, confused, said, “You guys have fun at home. I have to work overtime tonight.”

Everyone went silent.

Seeing that Mr. Duck was about to leave, Mrs. Duck let out a loud quack. “Quack! What do you mean? If you bought flowers and aren’t giving them to me, who are you giving them to?”

Just then, the doorbell rang.

A delivery guy was holding a bouquet and handed it over.

Mr. Duck looked dazed. Mrs. Duck gritted her teeth and said, “You only want to give them to me now? Too late! I’m already angry!”

The delivery guy said, “Sir, did you put the wrong address? There’s no Miss Strawberry Gummy at Yijia Hotel Room 607, only a man.”

Silence. Then, an explosion in the silence.

“QUACK!!!!!!!!”

“Who are these flowers for? Are you keeping a mistress behind my back?”

Mrs. Duck rushed over and grabbed Mr. Duck’s hair. “Look at you, all slicked up and ‘working overtime.’ You’re working overtime in someone’s bed, aren’t you!”

Mr. Duck yelled, “It’s a mistake! He’s got the wrong person! Tell her, when did I order flowers? Get out of here!”

“A mistake?” The delivery guy was confused. He made a call on the spot, and Mr. Duck’s phone started ringing.

“No mistake, quack,” the guy said. “It’s right here, quack.”

“Let’s see you try to talk your way out of this now! QUACK!!!”

At the same time, a second delivery guy arrived at the battlefield with another bouquet.

“Is Mrs. Duck here?”

“…”

“Mr. Xu is about to go abroad. He asked me to say goodbye to you and ask one thing.” The delivery guy looked at the disheveled Mr. Duck and braced himself. “Your husband doesn’t know about your… situation, right?”

After saying that, he dropped the flowers and ran.

“I’m just the messenger! Remember to give me a five-star rating!”

“How do you explain this?” Mr. Duck’s spine suddenly straightened.

“I didn’t cheat! I don’t even know this person! Quack!”

“If you don’t know him, how does he know where you live?”

“…”

“Oh, I was wondering why you were suddenly going to the salon and buying flowers. Turns out you’ve got a little boy toy on the side!”

“I don’t! You’re the one with a mistress! Quack!”

“Bull-fucking-shit!”

*Slap!*

“You dare hit me? I’ll kill you! Quack!”

The girlfriends chorused, “Stop fighting! Please stop fighting!”

“Ooh, that slap was loud!”

“Wait, are the sunflower seeds gone? Do you have any more?”

The doorbell rang.

Little Duck ran over excitedly, holding a phone. “My parents are fighting, so I stole their phones! Quick, let’s play Honor of Kings! Charge, quack! Charge!”

***

**Ending**

This fight tore the whole duck household apart.

Not long after, the two of them divorced and sold the house.

During that time, Mrs. Duck asked the salon owner to contact the rich second-generation heir to take her in.

The owner threw up her hands-he had gone abroad.

Mr. Duck told me that for my sake, he had divorced the old hag at home.

Now, he was ready to pursue true love.

“Your Duck is here.”

I told him that if he dared to show up, I’d pluck his feathers, so he’d better waddle far away.

Xingfu Community returned to its former tranquility.

Every night, it was finally quiet-not a single quack was heard.

**The End**