Chapter 6

Chapter 6

In a blind panic, I fled the ancestral hall.

Back in the guest quarters, I tossed and turned on the small, desolate bed, yet all I could see before my eyes was that vivid, subtle smile.

I did not understand why his gaze had suddenly changed.

It was as though a mountain rain lay between us, misty and blurred, yet behind the rain and fog there shone a light, like a sun that refused to set. One look at it made my heart tremble.

After being tormented like this for a long while, I gradually drifted off.

In my dream, I had returned to that ancestral hall. The clay Bodhisattva before me had shed his gilded shell and was now reclining high within the shrine, one hand propping up his cheek.

I did not know what he intended to do to me.

Nor did I know what I truly wanted.

Until that jade Bodhisattva stepped down from the altar and walked toward me, step by step…

I woke with a start, my forehead already slick with sweat, as though I had been placed in lukewarm water that was slowly heating to a boil.

What, in the end, had the Bodhisattva in my dream wanted to do?

Because I had been caring for the old nun, I stayed busy for quite some time.

Seeing the fatigue on my face and the bluish shadows beneath my eyes, Lady Bai told me to rest and recover my strength first, so that I could accompany her to the Buddha Bathing Festival.

On that day, the temple would set up a bathing basin in the open air and place within it a golden statue of Shakyamuni Buddha. Then they would pour water mixed with incense ash and talisman blessings over the statue’s head, as an act of celebration and offering.

When we were about to set out, I had meant to cover my head and face with a black kerchief, but Eldest Miss stopped me. “Mistress, we are going to listen to scripture, not recite it. Just for today, you needn’t be a nun. The Bodhisattva won’t blame you!”

As she spoke, who knew where she found a false hairpiece from, but through coaxing and pestering she managed to fasten it onto my head.

At the sight, Lady Bai’s face darkened. “Take that off at once. How can you tease Mistress like this?”

“Mother, just indulge me this once!”

Seeing that mother and daughter were about to quarrel, I hurriedly said, “It is all right. This hairstyle suits me well enough.”

“Oh, you!” No matter how angry Lady Bai was, she merely jabbed a finger firmly against her daughter’s forehead. “Why is it that you never listen?”

Seizing the opportunity, the young lady brought out a newly made jacket and skirt of her own and dressed me up as well, false hairpiece and all. Once she was finished, she called people from the front and back of the house to come look. “Come see the Song woman! What a beauty she is!”

Lady Bai scolded her with a laugh, but could only go along with it.

And so, together with the Bai Family womenfolk, I boarded the carriage headed for the temple.

We had only gone three li when we heard horses whinnying and shouts rising one after another. I lifted the carriage curtain to look outside and saw the road blocked and congested, the crowd bustling and surging, as though everyone in town had come out.

Lady Bai quickly asked, “A’da, what is going on?”

The coachman cupped his fist. “My lady, today is the Buddha Bathing Festival, but as it happens, Head Courtesan Li from the south is holding a private performance nearby. Everyone’s rushing over to see the excitement.”

When Lady Bai heard this, she nearly failed to catch her breath. “Amitabha!”

“Any other day would have done. How could she choose today to hold a performance? She truly is a filthy creature!”

Seeing her chest heave with anger, Eldest Miss peered outside curiously, looking as if she wanted to say something. But when the words reached her lips, she changed them.

“Mother, I’m hungry!”

“We have only just left home. How are you hungry already?”

“I just am!” Eldest Miss’s eyes darted about, and she pointed outside, crying, “I want the brown sugar cakes from that shop! Mother, let me get down and buy some!”

At this moment, the maidservants were in another carriage and had long since been squeezed two streets away.

Perceiving her daughter’s little scheme, Lady Bai refused no matter what was said. So I volunteered to get out of the carriage and buy the cakes for Eldest Miss.

Never before had I worn such rouge and powder.

Never before had I put on such new clothes.

For a time, I only felt as if I were shining down the long street, the sunlight warm and melting. Even as I waited beside the steamers, enveloped by the hot vapor billowing from the sugar cakes, my heart was filled with boundless joy.

I was standing in line when a mocking voice suddenly sounded behind me.

“Ninth Young Master, has that Li Shishi agreed to see you?”

“No.”

Catching a trace of familiarity, I had just turned my head when I saw the plump youth who had asked the question sweep his gaze over-and fix it directly on me.

Seeing the ornate hair ornament in my hair and the jacket and skirt I wore, his eyes gradually widened. “You-”

“You, you’re that little nun from the other day!”