Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I had meant to send the mad old nun back to her convent, but Lady Bai was kindhearted and told me to keep her in the manor for a few days so she could recover.

A physician came to examine her. Seeing that her speech was confused and her behavior absurd, he said only that it was a common affliction of the elderly, a disorder of the mind for which there was no cure. In time, whether from overthinking or fright, she would likely sink into dementia.

After that, aside from chanting sutras, I had to spare some attention to look after her.

But lately, all my thoughts had been thrown into chaos by that strange man.

That night, I had just come out of Lady Bai’s small courtyard when I saw the steward again by the lake. He was dressed all in black, moving about in a most furtive manner.

In less than the time it took to burn a stick of incense, a woman fluttered over to him like a painted butterfly. The two of them immediately went hand in hand into the rockery.

I was just about to follow and see what was going on when someone seized my sleeve and, without a word, dragged me into the ancestral hall. I finally managed to struggle free of those solid arms, but the next instant, my cry of alarm lodged in my throat.

“It’s you?”

“It’s me.”

In the bright red candlelight, his features were so exceptional that for a moment he seemed like a divine figure painted on a temple wall.

“Ninth Young Master?”

At last, I had found someone I could speak to. I hurriedly pointed outside. “Eldest Sister! She and that steward…”

“What does that have to do with you?”

Bai Yupu cut me a disdainful glance, then turned and sat down on a prayer mat. “Master, you are a woman of the cloth. Do you truly not know that one should not look at what is improper, nor speak of what is improper?”

From the meaning behind his words, he was blaming me for meddling. I could not help feeling indignant. “I may be a nun, but my heart is not made of mud!”

“Lady Bai has shown me kindness. How can I pretend not to see Eldest Sister behaving like this?”

…

Perhaps because I had mentioned Lady Bai, his expression softened a little. “You are thoughtful.”

“But this is, after all, a matter of my Bai Family. All these years, my eldest sister has had a hard time keeping watch over herself… Master, just pretend you never saw it.”

Since he had put it that way, I could only fall silent.

Seeing that I still seemed displeased, he hesitated for a moment, then actually softened his tone and made idle conversation with me. “Master, you chant the sutras well. You are not like those muddleheaded old monks. Can you read?”

“I learned some characters in my husband’s family.”

“Your husband’s family?”

Seeing his surprise, I nodded. “He died early. I had a chastity arch when I was still very young.”

…

For some reason, when Bai Yupu heard that, his expression changed slightly.

But when I looked closely, it seemed to have been only an illusion. His face still wore that warm smile. “So that is how it is.”

“May I ask your name, Master? How should I address you?”

My name?

I had a name from my maiden days too: Chunhua.

But a name that smelled at first breath of soil and sweat was truly hard to say aloud.

So I lowered my head. “My Dharma name is Jingxin.”

“So it is Master Jingxin.”

Seeing that his manner was respectful and flawless, I returned the courtesy with a bow. “Why is the Ninth Young Master here?”

He answered casually, “Because I refused to sit for the spring examinations, my mother ordered me to receive admonishment here.”

There was nothing more to say, so I prepared to take my leave.

But after walking only a few steps, I thought of the two people in the rockery again and could not help stopping. “Ninth Young Master, there is something I do not understand.”

“Hm?”

“Why must Eldest Sister do such a thing?” I asked in confusion. “That matter… is it truly so interesting?”

At that, Bai Yupu’s eyes widened in disbelief.

First, he lifted a hand and pointed at me.

Seeing me look back in utter bewilderment, the corners of his mouth twitched, as if he were trying to hold back laughter. Unfortunately, he failed completely. In the end, while still pointing at me, bright laughter burst from those rouge-red lips.

“Hahaha!”

“You!”

“How-how can you possibly!!”

Seeing him laugh so hard he could hardly straighten up, I finally realized I had said something outrageous.

In an instant, I was filled with shame and embarrassment.

Before I could flee, the young man before me stopped laughing. That mask-like courtesy from before had already changed into an entirely different expression. “If you want to know, it would not be difficult.”

Those eyes, dark with hidden meaning, flicked toward me, then up at the bodhisattva above us.

Like starlight falling into a cold pool-ardent, yet deep.

“It all depends on whether Master wishes to worship Buddha… or something else.”