Chapter 8
One day, a group of young people appeared beside the ravine. In their midst was Granny, who had treated me as her own family.
She was nearly a hundred now, sitting in a wheelchair, her hair white but her face still fresh.
I could see she had been living well.
In a flash, I rushed over to her, wanting to give her a hug.
Then I remembered that I no longer had a body. I couldn’t touch her.
My outstretched hands stopped just before her. I hesitated, unable to go any closer.
But she slowly raised her hand, set her palm opposite mine, and smiled a little.
She could see me!
“Child, I knew you’d be here!”
I froze. My eyes ached.
But I was an angry spirit too. I had no tears.
“Granny’s old now. This is my first visit to you, and it may be my last.”
“Stop tormenting yourself. Sacrificing your own chance at rebirth for other people’s mistakes isn’t worth it.”
“Go and see the world outside. Find a good family to be reborn into. Just don’t come back here.”
My transparent hand stroked Granny’s palm, though I knew she couldn’t feel it at all.
What was the outside world like?
Probably like the county seat!
That was the farthest I had ever been.
The people there were no different from the people in this village.
Rather than become their child, I might as well stay free in this ravine.
As those thoughts passed through my mind, the angry spirits behind me grew agitated too.
Gusts of icy wind swept through Eternal Peace Ravine, accompanied by piercing cries.
The people at its edge retreated in fright.
But three young women came forward instead.
“Fourth Sister, you’re here, aren’t you?”
“We saw you when you came to our house to find Father and Mother all those years ago!”
“Without you, Father might have beaten Mother to death!”
I stared at them for a long time before I recognized Wang Er’s three daughters, my elder sisters.
After so many years apart, they had completely lost the country girls’ awkward rustic air.
Their shame and timidity were gone too.
In their place were confidence, warmth, and calm.
The eldest was heavily pregnant. She stroked her belly, her whole being radiant with a mother’s tenderness.
“I love my child, whether it’s a boy or a girl.”
“This child is a gift from heaven, born of our love. A child surrounded by love, eagerly awaited by the whole family.”
“Every child should be treated like this. It’s only that the people here are ignorant. They don’t understand.”
“If I hadn’t left these mountains and had an education, perhaps I wouldn’t understand either. Perhaps I’d still be trapped in that obsession with a child’s sex.”
“So, little spirits here, please stop tormenting yourselves too. Go and see the wider world. Find out what real love feels like. Will you?”
The angry spirits looked at one another. Not one was willing to come forward.
I urged them, “If you want to go, you can try. If you never try, you’ll never know what the future might be like.”
After a long hesitation, one little girl spirit finally left with my eldest sister.
The young people told us so many stories about the world outside. Never mind seeing such things—we had never even heard of them.
Once curiosity plants a seed in your heart, one day it will take root and sprout.
At last, a second girl spirit let go of her resentment and left too.
As the girls departed, I could feel myself weakening.
It didn’t matter. I was an angry spirit, after all!
My eldest sister soon brought her baby back to see us.
Mrs. Wang followed, desperately trying to stop her. “Don’t go there! That place is haunted!”
My sister glared fiercely at her, and she obediently shut her mouth.
We saw the child, pink and perfect, cared for so lovingly that she was utterly adorable.
She was worlds apart from the children in the village.
The little spirits still in the ravine jostled to get a look. The baby wasn’t frightened at all. She even gave us a sweet smile.
That smile melted everyone’s hearts, and my sister’s warm gaze won us over completely.
Was this what a mother’s love really looked like?
Even though the child in her arms was a little girl, she looked at her as though she held the whole world.
“I want to try feeling that too.”
One little girl spirit spoke.
“So do I.”
“I want to try too.”
For the first time in all those years, I saw hopeful anticipation in their eyes.
“Of course I’m willing.”
“But if we leave, you’ll disappear completely.”
I smiled. “What does that matter? I’m only an angry spirit. Once you let go of your resentment, there’ll be no need for me to exist.”
They hugged me one by one. Then, reluctant to part yet full of hope, they left the little mountain ravine that had trapped them for decades.
I felt myself grow weaker by the day.
At first, I couldn’t gather enough strength to fight off the stray dogs that came to gnaw at the baby boys.
Later, I could no longer even hear the infant spirits speaking to me.
At last, one day, all my senses ceased to exist.
I disappeared completely.
My last lingering thought was: “What will happen to those little baby boys when I’m gone?”
It turned out I had worried too much.
Without me, they could still take perfectly good care of themselves.
I was only a spirit formed from resentment.
What could I do?
I merely followed where resentment led.
Wherever there was resentment, there I would be.
I don’t know how many years passed before I opened my eyes once more in that familiar ravine.
Only this time, I was a boy.
This time, I would still go looking for my fathers and mothers…
The End