chapter 1

chapter 1

My name is Taotao.

My great-grandmother, my grandmother, and my mother were all concubines.

Mother said that with such a distinguished family tradition, I was sure to be a natural at fighting for power in the inner courtyard.

When I was twelve, she washed the First Madam’s feet for a month to secure a marriage for me. I, too, would be a concubine.

Before I left home, she instructed me, “If a concubine wants to change her fate, there is only one way—please your man so thoroughly that he casts aside his wife for you.”

Once I became the lawful wife and controlled the household purse, I could eat whatever I wanted.

I believed every word. Mother always wanted what was best for me.

From the moment I entered the Fu estate, I never relaxed. I worked tirelessly toward my goal.

My plan was to win my husband’s favor first, then make sure he happened to witness Madam bullying me. Once the two of them had a furious quarrel, I would slip neatly into the breach.

Repeat those steps a few times, I estimated, and I would bring glory to my family.

That was how Mother had always done it.

To win my husband’s favor, I rose earlier than the dogs in the courtyard. While the stars still hung in the sky, I swept leaves, watered flowers, dusted furniture, and washed clothes.

I worked even harder than Mother.

Mother always said diligence was a virtue. I needed my husband to see mine.

My husband loved horses and went to the stable every few days to groom them. I decided it was the perfect place to show my devotion, so I hauled over a huge wooden bucket of hot water to wash his feet.

The moment I removed his shoes and socks, I regretted it.

Mother had never told me a man’s feet could smell like that.

It was like… like… Well, I had never attended school, so I lacked the learning to describe such a complicated and unnatural odor.

All I could do was hold my breath, dip his feet in the water, dry them in a hurry, and shove them back into his shoes and socks.

When I lifted the basin, my vision went black. I nearly toppled over.

His athlete’s foot might have been poisonous.

Even so, I did not retreat.

Whenever I spotted him, I quietly stuffed strips of cloth into my nostrils, picked up my bucket, and went to wash his feet.

I kept at it for nearly half a month. He did not reward me with so much as a copper coin.

He was stingier than my heartless father.

I could not understand why Madam had married a man with such foul feet and a tighter fist.

Madam was beautiful. In her pale pink dress, she looked like an immortal descended from heaven. I had never seen anyone lovelier.

Not that she was a good person.

At our first meeting, she had put me in my place by ordering me to dress like the other maids. I knew she was warning me, just as the First Madam back home treated Mother like a servant.

Mother often said a wife and a concubine were natural enemies. She told me to watch every word, mind every step, and guard against Madam.

But Madam was so generous.

When I swept the courtyard, she tossed me a bit of silver. When I helped her dress, she casually handed me a pearl.

After only a few days of serving her, my little purse had grown fat.

I looked terrified on the outside. Inside, I was dancing with joy.

When I asked why she kept rewarding me, she looked up from a mountain of account books and smiled, bright and bold.

“As long as you work hard, your Madam has plenty of money.”

With a wave of her elegant hand, she tossed me another piece of silver.

I was shaken to my core. So a woman could be more dashing and more generous than a man.

Why, then, was I fawning over my husband’s stinking feet?

Madam was beautiful, and she smelled wonderful.

She was generous too.

Would it not be far better to please her?

Little by little, I forgot my husband entirely. I spent my days circling Madam and waiting on her.

Unlike the First Madam back home, who tormented Mother whenever she had nothing better to do, Madam was always busy. She worked on the accounts and invented strange foods—some unbelievably foul-smelling, some sour and spicy, and even pastries that tasted salty.

She had followed her merchant father all over the realm from childhood. No one knew better what to eat in each season or where to find it.

She rolled up her sleeves to reveal slim wrists. Her hands flew as she worked, and her mouth never stopped. With shining eyes and sweeping gestures, she told me where every ingredient came from: honey from Liuba, green crabs from Anzhou, waxberries from Juzhang, mutton from Shanwu County.

Sometimes I could hear her swallow her own drool.

Chin in my hands, I lost myself in the vast world she described—a world wider than anything I had ever known how to imagine.

Seeing my bewilderment, Madam stroked my cheek with an oil-slicked hand.

“Taotao, the world is much larger than this tiny inner courtyard. One day, you must go out and see it.”

I caught her hand and rubbed my cheek against her sleeve.

Yes. One day, I would follow Madam out to see the world.

At the end of the month, everyone lined up for their wages. Madam handed me a bulging purse and patted my head.

I held back my delight until no one was around, then opened it in secret.

There, on the red silk, lay a plump silver ingot.

Mother had served and flattered Father all her life without ever receiving a whole ingot.

That night I tossed and turned. Every so often, I lifted the quilt, took out Madam’s treasures, stroked each one, and even gave them a sniff.

Nothing smelled sweeter than silver.

The more I thought about it, the more dangerous it seemed to keep so much treasure beside me. I climbed out of bed, crept into the back garden, found a good spot, dug a deep hole, and buried it all.

Back in my room, I used the few characters I knew to write a crooked letter.

“Mother, my Madam is different from yours. She is beautiful, kind, and generous.”

“From now on, I am with Madam.”