Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Jiang Yan was dead.

When the nurse broke the news to me, she watched my face cautiously.

But I didn’t react. I simply fiddled with the doll in my hands. “What does that mean?”

She said it meant Jiang Yan would never come to see me again.

I paused, then smiled. “That’s great.”

I’d been sick of Jiang Yan for a long time.

I hated how handsome he looked in his police uniform. It only made me look even more sickly and ugly by comparison.

I hated how he was always in the kitchen experimenting with delicious dishes and making me gain weight.

And I hated how he was always holding his guitar and singing out-of-tune songs to me.

It was better that he would never come again. Someone as mentally ill as me wasn’t supposed to be loved in the first place.

Once Jiang Yan stopped coming, I ate alone, listened to music alone, and took walks alone.

But for some reason, my chest was always in terrible pain. It hurt so much I couldn’t sleep at all.

So, in the middle of the night, I climbed through the window of the director’s office.

He was busy making out with a nurse and nearly jumped out of his skin.

I didn’t care. Pointing at my heart, I said, “I feel awful. Hurry up and fix me.”

After hearing my symptoms, the director sighed.

“I’ll take you to see Jiang Yan one last time.”

Jiang Yan lay in a small room at the funeral home.

He was the most handsome person I’d ever seen. Back in school, he had been the campus heartthrob, and girls posted pictures of him on the confession wall every day.

But he didn’t look quite as handsome now.

His arms and legs were broken, like snapped branches.

His face was badly bruised, and his chest had caved in.

In the next room, the staff on duty whispered among themselves.

“Poor guy… Officer Jiang wasn’t even on duty then. He was just passing by when he saw that rich kid beating his girlfriend.”

“No one else dared go near them. Officer Jiang was the only one who rushed over, and he ended up dead. What a shame.”

“I heard he’d gone to the mall to buy a wedding ring… He was down to his last breath when they took him to the hospital, but he kept calling out a name. Something like Tingting.”

It was Qingqing, I corrected them silently.

Jiang Yan had helped me choose that name. He said he hoped the rest of my life would be free of storms and rain, filled only with clear skies.

For some reason, my heart began to hurt again.

I nudged Jiang Yan. “Hey, I don’t like this name anymore. Hurry up and think of a new one for me.”

His eyes remained closed. He ignored me.

I kissed him on the lips.

So cold. No response.

So this was death.

Suddenly, I began shrieking hysterically and slammed my head into the wall again and again.

The staff next door were terrified. They wanted to rush in, but my agonized screams stopped them in their tracks.

By the time they finally worked up the courage to open the door, I was gone.